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 ............./      /            THE LEGENDARY TIMES
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 ......../      /...../  /_.../  /....../  /_.../  /..\   >./  /./  /
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 ...../                / /./       /./     /./  /.../  /./       /
 ..../                /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD
 .../________________/      running on 9999

 VOLUME TEN, NUMBER SIX                                   February 14, 2003
         Happy Valentine's Day! Happy 9th LegendMUD Anniversary!

                           TABLE OF CONTENTS
                           The Editor's Note

                         NEWS, REPORTS, UPDATES
                           Calendar of Events
                  Immortal Applications Due March 1st
                             Recent Updates
                       Ring of Thieves Destroyed!

                      Special Valentine's Messages

                               Clan News
                  The USL Celebrates 4th Anniversary
               Agrabah Mafia Celebrates 4th Anniversary
                             Killers Wanted

                              The PK Front

                       My beloved soulmate, Rowane
                  The Adventures of TheThing - Part V
                       To Our Master and Mistress
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                      The Editor's Note                          |__\

Congratulations to all of our Expies Winners this year! I want to thank
each and everyone player who took the time to send in their nominations
and final votes and attended the ceremony for this year's awards. It
really means a lot to me to see people participating in recognizing each
other and giving each other much needed pats on the backs.

It was in the spirit of "Look at all the cool people around you and let
them know that their efforts in the community are appreciated" that the
expies were started. If we could hand out on to each and every player we
would, but somehow the specialness of it wouldn't quite be the same. So
keep in mind that the more people in the community that participate in all
phases of the voting, the more meaning the recognition becomes.

If you couldn't make it to the ceremony, we will have a log up on the
website in soon. But
for the updated list of winners you can see who's listed for 2002 at:

Thanks again to Cheyla and LadyAce for doing such a great job this year
with the whole Expies process! And please, consider starting a file with
the notable things you witness during the coming year so you can nominate
them next year!

Have a great week!

___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                   LegendMUD Calendar of Events                  |__\
          [All times are system time unless otherwise specified]

                          Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
                           2  3  4  5  6  7  8
                           9 10 11 12 13 14 15
                          16 17 18 19 20 21 22
                          23 24 25 26 27 28
Friday,    February  14th                 Valentine's Day and
                                             LegendMUD's 9th Birthday and
                             8:00 pm      The Expies Ceremony!
Thursday,  February  20th    7:00 pm      Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
Saturday,  February  22nd    2:00 pm      Stock C(h)ar PK Tourney
Thursday,  February  27th    7:00 pm      Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
                             9:00 pm      PK Open Practice
Coming in March....
- March Madness Tinyplot
- St Patrick's Day Irish Casino
- Sandra's PK Tourney
- Trivia with LadyAce
....and much much more! 

___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|              Immortal Applications Due March 1st                |__\

It's that time of year again. The deadline for Immortal Applications is
March 1st, 2003. If you are interested in applying to become an immortal,
be sure to speak to the appropriate department head about your proposed
project _before_ you submit your application.

Additional information on Becoming an Immortal at LegendMUD can be found
by reading HELP APPLICATION online as well as pointing your browser to:

The individual links to take you directly to the important pages are:








___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                          Recent Updates                         |__\
    /\                         CODE UPDATES
   /  \     
  /    \    MISC CHANGES
 /_    _\     o Skill Combine Containers -- allows specific containers to
   |  |           be used to alter the "ingredients" into new results.
   |  |           Example: the mixing bowl, stove and oven in Mrs.
   |  |           O'Leary's new kitchen. More will appear as builders have
   |__|           time to add them.
    /\        o Several internal changes to help with memory problems
   /  \           created when characters enter and leave the game.
  /    \      o Turns housing charges back on.
 /_    _\   
   |  |                      HELP FILE UPDATES
   |  |     
   |  |     General Topics:
   |__|          PKTOURNEY 
   /  \     
  /    \                        AREA UPDATES
 /_    _\   
   |  |     If you want to suggest specific improvements or new additions
   |  |     to existing areas please don't hesitate to submit them with     
   |  |     the idea/bug/typo commands or drop mudmail to the builder
   |__|     currently responsible for the area (use AREAINFO to find out!)
   /  \                 The pretitles list has been updated!  
  /    \               Some new compact fight messages added.
 /_    _\   
   |  |     1802 ALASKA
   |  |          Dreams added. 2 new mobs and some new items. Tweaks a
   |  |          number of mobs in St. Paul. You can no longer able to get
   |__|          unlimited rugs without giving all items again.
  /    \         Certain mob fight specials shouldn't reset skill lag.
 /_    _\        Acts cleanup on guide. Work on getting Masai to stay for
   |  |          their nightly prayer sessions.
   |  |     
   |  |     ANCIENT GREECE
   |__|          Gives the cyclops some messages when they leave suddenly.
   /  \     THE CRUSADES
  /    \         Slayers of the dragon will find that their reputation
 /_    _\        travels with them. The sentries have lost their keen but
   |  |          mysterious ability to tell the difference between a
   |  |          person and their twin. The grate and the crevasse should
   |  |          now be behaving themselves. Assorted typo fixes and other
   |__|          cleanups.
  /    \         Be very careful with Lori and Barabas. Their acts to keep
 /_    _\        their prep spells on are now working.
   |  |     
   |  |     MELBOURNE
   |  |          The University has just hired a new Professor of
   |__|          Medicine. Various minor bugs and typos fixed.
   /  \     ROMAN BRITAIN
  /    \         Fixed the problem with the wineseller giving coins back
 /_    _\        when he shouldn't.
   |  |     
   |  |     SAN FRANCISCO
   |  |          Be careful killing things at higher levels here, the
   |__|          Sheriff has hired some better deputies. Mrs. O'Leary has
    /\           opened her kitchen. Be sure to check out her cookbook and
   /  \          her shiny new cast-iron stove. Everything in the cookbook
  /    \         can be cooked in her kitchen. Ideas for new dishes from
 /_    _\        existing ingredients are welcome! Thompson's General
   |  |          Store has many of the raw ingredients that you'll need.
   |  |     
   |  |     ZANZIBAR
   |__|          Small additions -- new rooms, items.
  /    \    SALEM
 /_    _\        Various minor bugs and typos fixed.
   |  |     
   |  |     
   |  |                    In Progress Area Updates
    /\      This section is intended to share what builders are working
   /  \     on behind the scenes. It is not a perfect record of progress
  /    \    as all builders do not commit updates every week. Badgering
 /_    _\   builders about their progress will get you flogged. 
   |  |     
   |  |             
   |  |             LadyAce       Kleinstadt (Update)

___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                    Ring of Thieves Destroyed!                    |__\

Holi hai! Holi holi hai!

The festival of colors whirled into Bhimbetka one afternoon, bringing with
it ghulal (colored powders for throwing), music, dancing, and fun! The
riot of colors spilled throughout the town, and drew merry-makers from all
over the world.

A stalwart young warrior named Tim, a gentle healer named Pentara, Sid the
Hammer, and a mysterious Spaniard named Lorenzo were first to arrive, and
they were soon followed by the graceful Rush, Duchess Maloth, the Norse
King Sigurd, and a silver-haired scholar named Sarevok. The crowd grew to
a fevered pitch, and dancers whirled faster and faster....! No one noticed
a strange scuffle breaking out between the lady Pentara and the foul
dhurtah. But soon the crowd came to her aid, and not a moment too
soon....strangers in dark clothes were slipping into the city from all

A frenzied and frightful battle erupted! Thieves were everywhere!
Attacking the mayor! Threatening the dancers! The mayor of the town was
beside himself with grief. He had heard the threats, but this was more
than he had expected. The visitors had no way to know what evil designs
spurred the invaders onward. They knew only that their hosts were being
invaded in the midst of the festival, and their new friends were being put
to the sword.

Tim knew just what to do -- gathering warriors beside him, he charged into
the fray. King Sigurd, accustomed to battle and wise in the ways of this
world, did likewise. Sarevok, Sid, Lorenzo -- all did their part,
protecting the people and tracking down the thieves. It seemed that they
would never cease coming, pouring in as they did, but soon some respite
was gained.

Pentara had already begun questioning the distraught mayor, trying to
discern the cause of the trouble. Sigurd joined her, and then Tim and Sid.
Sigurd tried offering the thieves gold ... but even thousands had not
swayed them from their purpose...what could be motivating them to
participate in such a bloodbath?

They had the truth of it, after some time -- the treasured statues of
Radha and Vishnu, the two greatest and kindest gods in the pantheon. Holi
is the festival to celebrate their love, and this year Bhimbhetka had been
favored to play host to their statues. These were national treasures of
India -- and just as the dhurtah had threatened, they were gone. They ran
to the fountain glade, just to be sure....but they were gone, and no where
to be found in the town or among the thieves.

The group sat down, trying to discern a next step. The thieves were not
Indian, the mayor was sure of that. Some suggested that they might be
European thieves, another thought perhaps Turks. But Lorenzo put his
finger on it -- they had been Arabian. The others recognized the truth of
this at once.

Never has the world seen a reckoning among the thieves of Agrabah as was
wrought that day. In the streets, in the palaces, the robbers and
murderers of the fair Arabian city were brought to justice and made to
answer for their crimes, one after another. But none of them knew of the
statues. Lorenzo, Sarevok, and Rush had taken the mayor with them and gone
to search in the gardens -- and they had found a cave in the forest beyond
the gardens.

The statues were there, amongst the booty of the forty thieves. Rush and
Sarevok puffed up with pride. But suddenly, the air was split by a scream
for help -- Sarevok was under attack! In the mazes of hedges and trees,
none could reach him in time, and soon he lay bleeding, unconscious, where
none could find him. Rush had followed him into the cave, and was captured
all too quickly by the thieves who remained. Hearing this successful --
and then disastrous -- turn of events, Tim and Sigurd rushed from the town
into the forest, sought out the cave, and with Pentara, Sid, and Lorenzo's
help, routed the thieves.

The party trooped back to Bhimbhetka, where they were met with rejoicing,
and the party resumed. The dancers twirled, the statues smiled in their
serene way, and the mayor, overjoyed, presented each with a token of
thanks. Holi holi hai!

___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|      LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World   |__\

   @>----->----->-----    VALENTINE'S GREETINGS     -----<-----<-----<@
Roses are Red,          |                        | Thanks to everyone for
Violets are Blue,       | Happy Valentine's Day  | being a part of and for
Sugar is sweet,         |          and           | helping to make Legend
But even skunks smell   |   Happy 9th Birthday   | the great place it is
   better than you!     |       LegendMUD!       | through all these years.
Mobs for Clean PCs Soc. |                        |               - Kaige
 Michael ~                          |             *huge hugs*  
 When I found out that the          | To Etta, Alph and Mich- I love you
 'Legendary Times' would have a     | guys, Happy Valentines day! My
 Valentine's Day issue, I just      | days wouldn't be the same without
 couldn't resist declaring my love  | you :)
 for you in public, even though     |             Love,
 you're the only one who will care  |                   Julie
 O:-)  I guess this is the part     +-------------------------------------
 where I'm supposed to say how much | Lawrence,
 I love you and how wonderful you   | The bluest skies and waters,
 are and how full you make my life  | The greenest meadows and pastures,
 and how hard it would be to live   | The whitest snowcaps and clouds.
 without you, and I guess I just    | All of these I wish for you.
 did.  Thanks for introducing me to | May they greet and guide you
 the fantastic world of Legend.     | Wherever you may go,
 You r0xx0r.                        | To keep you safe and well,
                                    | Until you are back with me.
 Your eternally loving partner,     |       Love,
 Cara                               |             Dechtire
 To my Dearest Sinfire: | It's yet another year, Lelldorin, another notch
   Mere words do not do | on the prison wall of our love; prisoners of 
   it justice, but I    | love that we are. Though I swear it gets tiring
   love you now and     | daily, I carry you with pride and joy, as you
   forever.             | to me. No matter what, I still love you, my
     Yours forever,     | hummingbird. At least it's better than separate
               Nodin    | cells.           Your jailbird, Lelldorin.
To my husband's credit cards:       | To my dearest Mikaela Ajdari, 
                                    | I hope I help make this day one
To your high credit limits I am     | of the best days of your life and
    faithful and true,              | that you will remember it
To Macey's, Bloomingdale's, Guess,  | forever. I love you so much, with
    and of course J. Crew.          | all my heart and all my soul.
You have always been there for me,  | Mere words can not describe the
    when I have needed you most.    | love I feel for you it is so
My sweet little rectangular         | intense. You make me the happiest
    angels, to you I will always    | man alive, and for that I owe you
    be close.                       | everything.
                                    |               Love from
   Archdruidess Denstra Alexander   |                    Stygian
To my Sprout,                                    | To the snuggly wuggliest
    Wishing you all the best for heart-day.      | lil cupcake ever. Happy
    Really do love ya lots and lots... *snuggly  | Valentine's Day to my
    hugz* and *smoochiez all over your face*     | adorable Plagasgraw !   
                                                 | With lots of love and  
           -Your fiery Pele                      | smoochies,   Kayuha
There once was a cute blonde yank,  | To the good twin,
Who married a fop with swank.       | I don't know what I would do without
Now every Valentine's day,          | you sometimes... I love you very
For a stolen kiss in the hay,       | much even though I don't say it
He writes her bad limericks that    | often enough. You're like a sister
    don't rhyme.                    | and then some. All those things I
                                    | never really get the chance to say?
From your albino equine,            | I probably won't be expressing them
If you'll be my valentine,          | here but they sure do all exist
I promise no more awful poems next  | *tears*. Never ever forget what you
   time.                            | mean to me, I could not be more
                                    | blessed than to have you in my life.
For Aemilia, with stylish love,     | 
Percy                               | -the evil twin
To Beelzebub, Satan, and Lucifer,                |       Ode to S...
     Happy V-Day to my babies! I loves ya        | 
     lots'n'lots even though you're all evil     | He oozed across my path 
     :P (obviously from your dad cause I'm       | with sweet and sublime 
     perfect and um... yah) But, I am lucky to   | subservience. His evil, 
     have you babies even though you make me     | greedy nature wends its
     question it sometimes (cleaning is not a    | way into my heart now 
     city in the UK darnit) But all and all I    | branding it like no other
     love you guys more than anything. You are   | has before. Even that
     my life and everything I do is for you,     | bruised, crying, and 
     even though you dont realize it. One day    | rather scared-looking 
     you will get more of my attention than      | kid that he drags with
     you do now and things will be easier, I     | him everywhere makes
     am trying- I promise.                       | my hardened heart sing
    da'Momma Goddess :)                          | upon seeing them. -$-
frrrm gwajeff ta geowg. |                        | To Rillifane and
                        | Roses are Red,         |                Mok-Mok, 
yous da bestes deemun   |                        | 
wiffa forkd taal. yous  |   Violets are Blue,    | Happy hugs and kisses
steeld da hats frrrm    |                        |          day,  
missrr matthel an yous  | But blood is so tasty, | 
steeld da kookees. yous |                        | Your loving parents,
wiiks ta strt fiiirs.   |   Especially from you. | 
yous hep mee skip skoo. |                        |   Rowane 
yous da bestes fwen aa  |      -V-V-The Vampire  |          and 
lil grrrl kan haf.      |                        |               MoiraGwyn
There once was a Frenchy from       |            |     A very Happy
    Dauphin,                        |   *TONK*   | Valentine's Day to a
Who went about heads a-choppin'.    |            | husband who manages to
Until he faced his greatest woe,    |   *TONK*   | snatch scones from the
After meeting that elusive foe,     |            | kitchen, sneak out of
And now he receives taunts every    |   *TONK*   | the house on a daily
    St. Villaintin's.               |            | basis, dodge flying
                                    |   *TONK*   | vases, escape the
      For M. Chauvelin,             |            | clutches of a marauding 
   Happy Villaintine's Day!         |   *TONK*   | skunk, and look so good
I'm sure you have something equally |            | doing it.
fabulous for me, if you ever find   |   GOTCHA!  |      Love,
me...                               |            |        Aemilia
   @>----->----->-----    HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY     -----<-----<-----<@
     ___                                                          ___
     \  |--------------------------------------------------------|  /
     /__|                      Clan News                         |__\

Congratulations to The United Surgeons of Legend and the Agrabah Mafia as
they are celebrating the 4th year of their founding on February 15th under
the free-forming clans system.

The USL's purpose is to unify surgeons from all walks of life, to aid
anyone in need of medical attention as well those engaged in the medical
arts. You can visit the United Surgeons of Legend website for all your USL
related questions and clan news at Contact Commander Mertjai
for more information, or visit a friendly neighborhood USL member!

The Agrabah Mafia claims that for a small fee they will always offer help.
The clan is composed only from mages that can provide various services to
the citizens of Legendmud.

For more information about these long-standing clans of Legend, check out
    the CLANS command, try a search for USL or MAFIA on the web pages,
( and enter keywords in the SEEK box).


                             Killers Wanted

With time comes many changes, the future slipping into the past without a
moments notice.  As Barabas falls into the pattern of time, and becomes a
Legend of the Past, a new leader of the clan Infernals emerges.

Seeking those who wish to cause destruction and mayhem, inflict pain on
others, and reduce the pitifully small forces of good to literally
nothing, Maloth searches for active evil killers.


There are currently 16 RP clans and 9 PK clans. This leaves open slots
for seven (7) more clans to form. For more information, read HELP CLAN and
see the clan information list via the CLANS command while logged into the
game. For a basic handbook and reference guide for players interested in
starting and running a clan, we recommend that before you even type FORM,
you visit:

     ___                                                          ___
     \  |--------------------------------------------------------|  /
     /__|                    The PK Front                        |__\

Two-thirds of the Grendels were out in force this week. The Infernals,
under the new leadership of Maloth, also had a strong showing with two-
thirds of their members active this week as well. Cupid and his arrows
seem to have softened the rest of the clans, for no more than two or
three members from each were seen in the midst of battle this week.
The School of Hard Knocks seems to be taking a holiday. One has to
wonder if they will be in danger of losing their accredidation.


This past week there were 88 pkill-related deaths involving 41 different
characters. Of those 43 characters, 32 of them were accept all at the
time. So come on, let's get YOUR name up in lights! We can't report on it
if you don't tell us about it!

If you have you witnessed or committed any glorious or nefarious deeds,
send a short report to us at the LT. If you are looking for a fight,
recruiting, or anything else related to PK (not necessarily PK Clan
related), send it in! It's free AND you'll get a prize token! Be a
celebrity, the envy of all your friends! Tick off your enemies or just
tell your side of the story! The possibilities are endless -- act today!!
             /                       \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMUD?|
   (o o)     \_______________________/

My beloved soulmate, Rowane,

     I sought a way to properly express my love so I took to both land and
     sea to attempt to learn from our neighboring areas how to express
     such to you. I knew I was going to need help. And I met the most
     interesting people, darling!

     That nice warlord Dragut Reis that we met that time told me that
     where he is from they say 'I Azsk Sen'. I ran into Siggie shortly
     after and she spat and made me swear to never say 'Jeg Elsker Dig' in
     front of her again. It seemed to make her ill. A man named Rodolpho,
     from France, seemed a tad wistful when he taught me to say 'Je
     T'aime'. A German soldier I met whispered to me 'Ich Liebe Dich', I
     suspect he did not want passerbys to hear him speak such. *soft
     giggle* Oh, and I had the lovliest time with these portuguese
     fishermen! They were more than willing to teach me to say 'Eu Te
     Amo'. It was not quite as easy with the scholars, who felt teaching
     me to say 'EGO diligo vos' was a waste of time. *indignant snort*
     Apparently they never met you. But I ran into Alejandro who took much
     time in teaching me to properly pronounce 'Te Amo' with the correct
     accents. Very nice of him, we should have him for tea. I went to see
     Compradore Chen (what a pleasant man by the way) who was eager to
     teach me to say 'Wo Ai Ni'. On the way back I stopped by Panuccis
     Pizza and a couple of the people there laughed and taught me 'Ti
     Amo'. The leftovers are in the kitchen. Oh yes, and I rounded a
     series of islands and met the most glorious people! They placed a
     beautiful wreath of flowers about my neck and took a good few minutes
     to help me learn to say 'Aloha au ia oe'. We should go back and visit
     them! And a Chef a bit later I met was rather gruff but made sure I
     could say 'Jag Alskar' the right way. A rather proper visit with King
     Vlad (he is a King isn't he honey?) left me feeling uneasy but indeed
     I left having learned 'I Dragoste Tu'. I came across a Hungarian
     ambassador who felt I should say 'Szeretlek' and present you with a
     token of love. I must say I agree, and certainly you have a fair
     stock of kisses awaiting you, my betrothed.

     But no matter what language it is said in, it amounts to the same...
     My love for you grows deeper by the day and I can not imagine my life
     without you. I love you incredibly, Rowane.

     Rwyn dy garu di'n fwy na'r byd ei hunan. Puliki a' honi u'i, nohea

          Trag Cariad,
                       Your loving lifemate, MoiraGwyn de'Dannan


      The Adventures of TheThing (embellished) - Part V (Success!)

And so it was that TheThing eventually reached his goal. Having gained the
XP necessary, he didn't hesitate, but redeemed himself out of the PK arena
and has never gone back since. He took on Sir West and Minako's mansion in
Ithaca as caretaker, and he even gave tours of the estate. TheThing found
a new occupation as a helper and friend. The burdens of PKill lifted from
his shoulders, TheThing became more friendly and helpful every day. Many
corpse retrievals (CRs) and re-equipment parties did TheThing lead, doing
all that he could to help anyone with any thing (ok, that one was

Having learned all he could about the Inferno, TheThing took many young
mages into that hellhole to learn magic from the dark lords beneath the
earth. People grouped around TheThing as he brought them face to face with
one of Legend's largest foes, The Inkeeper of the Inferno. People would
sit there waiting for the Inkeeper to reincarnate, and the lulls in
between became parties of a sort. Truth and Dare became the game of
choice, and TT was even found to be silly!

The Shadow Lands became a new quest for TheThing to lead as well. Windsong
taught TT how to bring large groups in and out of the Shadow Lands safely
and how to avoid the tricks and traps laid within. People began to look up
to TheThing again as a respected and valuable member of Legend. Having
given in to the idea that he would never again find his original clan,
TheThing had made a niche for himself in Legend.

When the Pirate's Den was discovered, TheThing found his element. TT could
speak the language of the Pirates and he found his way through their Dens
(north, west, and east) without fear. He reveled in the language and
lifestyle, hacking and slashing through pirates and yelling out for more
to come his way. At times wearing a black eyebatch and beard, and even a
hook for a hand, TT was in his glory.

Time has passed, however, and TheThing has faded from the memories and
hearts of many of the older citizens of Legend, and the newcomers have no
idea who he is. So TheThing has gone into a slumber of sorts, patiently
waiting to be needed. The days of Tanks have come and gone, they just
aren't the prominent citizens they once were thought to be. To this day,
TheThing can be seen re-appearing at the mere mention of someone's need
for help, though. A cry on a public channel of a needed hitter, some piece
of equipment, a CR, a large group in need of a leader, that is all it
takes to bring TheThing out of his slumber, hollering his warcry as he
leads the charge to battle 'It's Clobberin' Time you lousy, good for
nuttin' mobiles!'


To Our Master and Mistress-

We wish to take this moment to express our thanks to you for your caring
and kindness to us.

(a homunculus whines in the background about his wonderful life before
being summoned to serve)

Although you do tend to treat us as large walking purses, or even
*shudder* pets, you most certainly do dote over us and even rescue us from
the likes of a certain Sidhe who dislikes our kind.

(Somewhere a doppelganger screams out, "We are people too, we deserve love
and respect!")

For your kindness we take this time to tell you how grateful we are that
unlike SOME people, you do not whap us or punch us or other such

(A doppelganger screams out, "Repent! And ye shall be saved!")

("Power to the people!" shouts a greater summon)

   In honor of you on this ONE day, we will not:
 1. ...plot your death while you sleep. (at least we will try not to)
 2. ...walk around in your clothes and mimic you when you are not looking.
 3. ...purposely ignore you when you order us to assist you against a
       large foe, and instead smile at you while you die. (but ONLY today)
 4. ...cluster together at our nightly meeting and discuss overthrowing
       your reign of terr- ERM, I mean power.
 5. ...wander off because you forgot to order us to sit down *smiles
 6. ...belch a stream of fire that takes out two rooms in your house.
       Well, ONE of us wont anyways. *glance Salamander*  (but you didnt
       REALLY like those curtains, right??)
 7. ...whisper subliminal messages to you while you are afk about how much
       better we are than you. (as if you needed a reminder of this)
 8. bad, bad things to your Atrium or Castle Courtyard plants and
       then snicker when you blame a wandering bunny or squirrel.
 9. ...hide the items you were SURE we didnt have or that you dropped.
      (what, we dont deserve commission for carrying this stuff around?!)
10. back. Honest. No, really. We swear it.
11. ...flirt and smile and be coy with your worst enemy, who happens to be
       standing in the same Inn with you. *COUGH*
12. ...purposely screw up our aim and will try to be more precise when
       shooting your more aggressive kills, etc. (and thank you for using
       us as disposables btw! *ignore*)
13. ...send tells to your friends, pretending to be you, just to get you
       in trouble.
14. ...'accidentally' open the cage door for the carrier pigeons just to
       see if they really do come back.
15. and spam for you on channels and then send tells to Imm's
       going "Psst- HE did it! Quick, warn him!" Well, maybe...

                      Your Loving Salamander, Greater Angel,
                  Doppelganger, and pack of raging Homunculi.
(because Master is a wimpy mage who cant kill and carry things by himself!)

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