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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 VOLUME ELEVEN, NUMBER FIVE                               April 24, 2004
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                         TABLE OF CONTENTS
                         The Editor's Note

                       NEWS, REPORTS, UPDATES
                         Calendar of Events
                     New Immortal Announced: Huma
                           Recent Updates
                        The Odyssey Approaches

                            LEGENDITES

                             Clan News
                      The Underworld Now a PK Clan
                  The Disciples of {S} Clan Disbands

                            The PK Front
                Semi-Annual Heavyweight PK Tournament

                        A Most Interesting Person
        Excerpt from the Journal of Baron Shadamehr, Lord of Seeking
                             Thank You
                        What A Grand Ole Time!
             How to Embarrass a Knight and Two Templars in One Go
                   Jobs, Duties, And Kindred Spirits
                            Poem of Horror
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                      The Editor's Note                          |__\
   '-----------------------------------------------------------------'

I know several people have wondered what happened to the LT lately and I
think we've been stuck in something of a catch-22. When there's very
little material to put into an issue and when an issue doesn't come out
for a while, or they come out sporadically, you tend not to accumulate
much material to go into the next one.

We seem to go through this slump periodically where everyone wants and
expects the LT to come out, but very few people actually contribute any
of the content that goes into an issue each week. Even though this issue
has content that has accumulated since March 1st, it's still smaller than
many regular issues in the past.

Also, if we want the LT to be more than a laundry list of code and area
updates, we _ALL_ need to put a little more of ourselves into it. The old
issues contain all sorts of tidbits: birthdays, graduations, birth
announcements, as well as get together invites. There were also articles
about various aspects of the game -- by players, for players.

There was also more information about who was doing what in which
departments and more advertising of upcoming events than a simple mention
in the events calendar. There were also more events that actually
happened on the mud between various characters that were taken and
written up instead of stories written about individual characters

With the Summer Odyssey coming up again, area reviews by players are
being solicited again (they'll be run in the appropriate month), but in
the past very few players have taken us up on this even though the effort
required is fairly low. So pick an area off the AREAINFO list and let
everyone know what your character thinks of and/or experienced on their
visit there.

A few people have asked about writing a regular column, go for it! It can
be hard to sustain, especially if you don't have a strong sense of what
you want to cover each week and if you don't try to stay at least a week
ahead of yourself. Also, they don't have to be weekly, but recurring
columns are great and welcome too! A couple of different ones on a
rotating basis will reduce the pressure to produce something weekly too!
Don't feel you have to do more than one... talk one of your friends into
trading weeks with you!

And please, if you have any ideas for other features, columns, types of
news you'd like to see added to the newsletter, let me know and we can
see if it can be done! Remember, the more voices that go into each issue,
the better it becomes.

-Kaige
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                   LegendMUD Calendar of Events                  |__\
   '-----------------------------------------------------------------'
          [All times are system time unless otherwise specified]

                                 APRIL
                         Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
                                      1  2  3
                          4  5  6  7  8  9 10
                         11 12 13 14 15 16 17
                         18 19 20 21 22 23 24
                         25 26 27 28 29 30

Saturday,  April     24th,   7:00 pm    Werewolves of London Tinyplot
Sunday,    April     25th,   3:00 pm    Doubles PK Tournament
Thursday,  April     29th,   7:30 pm    Q&A in the OOC Auditorium

___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                   New Immortal Announced                        |__\
   '-----------------------------------------------------------------'

Please congratulate our newest immort: Huma

Huma has joined the building staff and will be working on bringing you
the old-west town of Tombstone.

Give him a break when asking for stuff, he is still learning all
those new commands and got a TON of info dumped on him so his head
is probably still swimming.

Many thanks to the others who applied to immort this round - Jazz,
O'Bedlam, and Straussy in building, and Somar in coding. Your interest is
appreciated!

The next round of applications have a September 1st deadline. Reading
HELP APPLICATION online gives more info.

And now a little about Huma: 

     Hey guys, my name is Shane, I'm 22 years old and about a
     month away from graduating from Michigan State University
     with a degree in political science. I've been playing
     Legend since I was 14 years old and so I know what its like
     to be a younger player and an older. I will be building the
     area Tombstone, 1879. This area will center around the
     events that took place during Virgil Earps time as Sheriff
     including such famous figures and events as Doc Holliday,
     Wyatt Earp and the shootout at the OK Corral.
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                        Recent Updates                           |__\
   '-----------------------------------------------------------------'

    /\                         CODE UPDATES
   /  \     
  /    \    BUG FIXES
 /_    _\     o Assess now has a slight skill lag.
   |  |       o You can no longer make bandages out of burning equipment.
   |  |       o Color bleed problem fixed for marked notes.
   |  |       o Moving messages for harnessed vehicles will be less odd.
   |__|       o Dispel illusion on major illusioned objects will now
    /\          reset the short descriptions properly.
   /  \       o You can now archive if someone else is online and has the
  /    \        same partial name as you.
 /_    _\     o Foul will now wear off affected items after time.
   |  |       o Disguises will cease to work if you no longer qualify for
   |  |         the skill.
   |  |       o Immunities, resistances, and susceptibilities now do the
   |__|         right thing when used together.
    /\        o Disintegrate won't charge mana if you don't have the
   /  \         item.
  /    \      o Bind no longer refers to you in the third person if you
 /_    _\       try and cast it on yourself, or if you fail abysmally.
   |  |       o Calm spell no longer refers to caster in the third person
   |  |         when they cast it and stop fighting.
   |  |       o No more messages about leaping away from a firestorm
   |__|         while you're sleeping.
    /\        o Shipbuilding with no argument now indicates you need
   /  \         materials.
  /    \      o You can now repudiate players that have the same name as
 /_    _\       mobs.
   |  |       o Raged targets of the calm spell will now unrage as well
   |  |         as stop fighting.
   |  |       o Dying in or recalling from a non-mech vehicle will now
   |__|         properly disassociate you from the vehicle.
    /\        o Crashing bugs fixed.
   /  \     
  /    \    TYPO FIXES
 /_    _\     o Typo fixes for tired, terrified and bored moods.
   |  |       o Typo fixes in grouping.
   |  |       o Better formating for summoning failure message.
   |  |       o Grope message changed.
   |__|       o Tickle messages expanded.
    /\        o Extra blank line removed from the message you get when
   /  \         trying to open a locked door.
  /    \      o Typo fix on "not poisoned" message when trying to cure it.
 /_    _\     o Typo fix for looking in medicaments and medical_tools.
   |  |       o Typo fix on elbowing someone and hitting the helmet slot.
   |  |     
   |  |     MISC CHANGES
   |__|       o You have to fully type out ABANDON to leave a clan.
    /\        o New material types for objects, coming soon to a builder
   /  \         near you.
  /    \      o Repair and mend changing to work with new materials.
 /_    _\     o Tailoring changed to take advantage of new material
   |  |         types.
   |  |       o Make bandage now works with new cloth materials.
   |  |       o Changing your title now prints the new title instead of
   |__|         just saying title changed.
    /\        o Better messages for putting items in certain furniture.
   /  \       o Stealing bags from corpses now works as it should.
  /    \      o Topple has a lower chance of success.
 /_    _\     o Deafness now shows in status and new score.
   |  |       o Sleeping now cancels: balance, hunting, rage and
   |  |         sustained breath skill.
   |  |       o Casting lag lowered on magic sink.
   |__|     
    /\      
   /  \                          HELPFILE UPDATES
  /    \    
 /_    _\   General Topics:
   |  |          BOT, MACHINE, RETIRED
   |  |     
   |  |     
   |__|                           AREA UPDATES
    /\      
   /  \     If you want to suggest specific improvements or new additions
  /    \    to existing areas please don't hesitate to submit them with
 /_    _\   the idea/bug/typo commands or drop mudmail to the builder
   |  |     currently responsible for the area (check AREAINFO to find
   |  |     out!).
   |  |     
   |__|       Thanks to everyone that submitted bug/typo/idea reports!
    /\      
   /  \     There were some changes to elementals and homunculi when they
  /    \    die. Some generic furniture items have extended descriptions.
 /_    _\   
   |  |     Orbs and balls of light now glow, skeletons cannot be
   |  |     blinded, charmies will no longer follow you if uncharmed, can
   |  |     get rid of charmies with the dismiss social.
   |__|     
    /\             The souvenir & prize machines were updated.
   /  \     
  /    \    1930'S PITTSBURGH
 /_    _\        Fix to the ballgame. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     
   |  |     AFRICAN SAVANNA
   |  |          Small bug fixed with the slaves. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |__|     
    /\      ALHAMBRA
   /  \          Some mobs no longer walk about as if the town were a
  /    \         nudist colony. A couple of new items have been added.
 /_    _\        Shopkeepers were tweaked. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     
   |  |     ANASAZI
   |  |          Chickens should be more reasonable with their egg
   |__|          production. Some fixes to the Spider Grandmother. Some
    /\           updates to how mobs react when you give them things.
   /  \          Various bug/typo fixes.
  /    \    
 /_    _\   ANCIENT GREECE
   |  |          Cyclops will not holler for brothers if they are already
   |  |          there. Some changes to the amount of damage the needle
   |  |          causes. Be careful when fighting the Kraken, some small
   |__|          changes have been made. Various bug/typo fixes.
    /\      
   /  \     ANCIENT NAZCA, ANCIENT ANDES
  /    \         Some additional birds added. Various bug/typo fixes.
 /_    _\   
   |  |     ARABIAN NIGHTS
   |  |          Shopkeepers were tweaked. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     
   |__|     AZTECS
    /\           Huitzilopochtli priests wear clothing better suited for
   /  \          them now. Various bug/typo fixes.
  /    \    
 /_    _\   BENGAL
   |  |          Shopkeepers were tweaked. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     
   |  |     BEOWULF
   |__|          Take some caution fighting the wyrm and dragon, they
    /\           have been changed some. Adds in a new teacher.
   /  \          Shopkeepers were tweaked. Some mobs will be a little
  /    \         more responsive. Various bug/typo fixes.
 /_    _\   
   |  |     BLACK FOREST
   |  |          Non-European birds replaced with European birds.
   |  |     
   |__|     CELTIC IRELAND
    /\           Gan should litter less. Boggles should no longer be as
   /  \          quick to get rid of things they pilfer. Some mobs will
  /    \         be more responsive. Further attempts to make Gan more
 /_    _\        environmentally-friendly. Dogs shouldnt be QUITE as
   |  |          spammy if you eat in front of them. Shopkeepers were
   |  |          tweaked. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     
   |__|     THE CRUSADES
    /\           Various bug/typo fixes. WARNING: You can no longer shoot
   /  \          up a one-way staircase in AT.
  /    \    
 /_    _\   GENERIC ANIMALS
   |  |          Various bug/typo fixes, some more work on spam
   |  |          reduction. Should be able to tailor a few more furs and
   |  |          hides, but it is intentional that you cant use them all.
   |__|          Some animals respond more appropriately to some socials.
    /\      
   /  \     GYPSY CARNIVAL
  /    \         Tweaks a few items into spec. Various bug/typo fixes and
 /_    _\        minor item changes.
   |  |     
   |  |     KLEINSTADT
   |  |          Some mobs will be a little more responsive. Some mobs
   |__|          are no longer confused about their gender. Some changes
    /\           to Olga and Heinz. Some rooms are more accessible.
   /  \          Tweaks repop rates on the guards. Some quest clues have
  /    \         been improved, and some mobs will be a little more
 /_    _\        responsive. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     
   |  |     LAND OF SHADOWS
   |  |          Fixes a problem with the spectre event.
   |__|     
    /\      MISC
   /  \          Fish dont last forever, downgrades the iron dagger and
  /    \         sword some but they sell for the same. Various bug/typo
 /_    _\        fixes.
   |  |     
   |  |     THE OOC
   |  |          Huma now has a spiffy office. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |__|          
    /\      PARIS OPERA
   /  \          Take some caution when fighting Mephistopheles, he has
  /    \         been changed some. Various bug/typo fixes. Some mobs
 /_    _\        will be a bit more responsive.
   |  |     
   |  |     PICTISH COUNTRY
   |  |          Shopkeepers were tweaked. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |__|     
    /\      PIRATE'S DEN
   /  \          Some changes have been made to the flooding cavern.
  /    \         Various bug/typo fixes.
 /_    _\        
   |  |     PORT OF LONDON
   |  |          Women, sailors, merchants have names again. Some mobs
   |  |          will be a little more responsive. Some tweaks to resets.
   |__|          Dogs shouldnt be QUITE as spammy if you eat in front of
    /\           them. Shopkeepers were tweaked. Mob noses should be less
   /  \          sensitive if you have hygiene issues.
  /    \    
 /_    _\   ROMAN BRITAIN
   |  |          Some mobs should be more responsive. Some new items and
   |  |          a little tweaking of the fishermen - take some caution.
   |  |          Shopkeepers were tweaked. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |__|     
    /\      SAN FRANCISCO
   /  \          Fixes some conversation loops (please give a hint about
  /    \         what they are talking in circles about when reporting
 /_    _\        these -- makes them MUCH easier to find). Fishing
   |  |          section added for the river. Some mobs will be a little
   |  |          more responsive. Shopkeepers were tweaked. Fix for the
   |  |          laundry attendant. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |__|     
    /\      SEONI JUNGLE
   /  \          Some attempts to fix the problem with the flooding
  /    \         cavern. Nathoo walks faster. Various bug/typo fixes.
 /_    _\   
   |  |     
   |  |     SHERWOOD
   |  |          Will checks all charmies like he should. Various
   |__|          bug/typo fixes.
    /\      
   /  \     SOUTH SEAS
  /    \         Some mobs should be more responsive.
 /_    _\   
   |  |     ST DENNIS ABBEY
   |  |          The almsgiving room should be less spammy. Adds in some
   |  |          generic animals. Various bug/typo fixes. Some mobs will
   |__|          be a little more responsive.
    /\      
   /  \     TORTUGA
  /    \         Fix for the Houngan and his zombie(s) - be careful. Some
 /_    _\        mobs will be more responsive. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |          Some changes to the pirates and houngan. Adds in some
   |  |          lizards and atmosphere. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |          Be careful - the boucaniers react to being calmed and
   |__|          really poorly played entrance attempts.
    /\      
   /  \     VICEROYAL LIMA, MEDIEVAL ANDES
  /    \         Some tweaks to shopkeepers. Various bug/typo fixes.
 /_    _\        Some additional birds added. Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |          Some mobs are a little more responsive.
   |  |          Dogs shouldnt be QUITE as spammy if you eat in front of
   |  |          them. Shopkeepers were tweaked.
   |__|     
    /\      1802 ALASKA, 1820 ALASKA, ABORIGINAL DEAMTIME, ANCIENT EGYPT,
   /  \     ANCIENT SEAS, CASABLANCA, HOSPITALLER MALTA, LOTP, MEDIEVAL
  /    \    SEAS, MELBOURNE, PR, ROMANIA, SALEM, MASS, TEA ROUTE, TUDOR
 /_    _\   LONDON, VIKING SKANDINAVIA, WW1 SOMME
   |  |               Various bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     
   |  |     
   |__|                    In Progress Area Updates
    /\      
   /  \     This section is intended to share what builders are working
  /    \    on behind the scenes. It is not a perfect record of progress
 /_    _\   as all builders do not commit updates every week. Badgering
   |  |     builders about their progress will get you flogged.
   |  |     
   |  |     
   |__|          Cheyla            Zanzibar
    /\           Firefly           Japan
   /  \          Kae               Larderello (Dante's Inferno)
  /    \         Kaige             1950's Americana
 /_    _\        Kaige             Port of London Expansion
   |  |          Nestor            Ancient Carthage
   |  |          Rufus             SL Expansion
   |  |          Sandra & Nestor   Medieval France
   |__|     
___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                    The Odyssey Approaches                        |__\
   '------------------------------------------------------------------'

Hey, everyone!

With all the area updates going on and areas in progress, there's a lot
going on. The Summer Odyssey is approaching fast, and we'll be jumping
into that full swing very soon.

While we have our own agendas and ideas, we could still use your help. We
need those bug and typo reports, and especially ideas for improving
areas.

Do you think there is an opening for a quest somewhere? Suggest it!

Was the mob you just fought kinda ho-hum? Think there's a cool tactic it
could use to spice the fight up some? Idea it!

There's a lot of under-used skills and many areas aren't visited very
often. You're encouraged to suggest ways to use skills in quests of any
size, or for mobs to use different skills for different tactics. And we
need to know what will make y'all visit other areas more often so we can
look to improve them and attract tourism.

Check the builder board (in the OOC on the builder's floor) for skills
we're especially looking for quests for, areas we think need some special
attention and sprucing up... And for the latest, currently up-to-date
list of what projects the building department is working on.

Thanks!
Cheyla & the builders  

___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|      LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World   |__\
   '------------------------------------------------------------------'

              Achilles has reached 100 million experience!
                Cypri has reached 100 million experience!
               Drizzt has reached 100 million experience!
              Lachesis has reached 100 million experience!
             Neo_Tritoch has reached 100 million experience!
                 Yay has reached 100 million experience!
               Suileach has reached 200 million experience!
             UggaBagugga has reached 200 million experience!
     ___                                                          ___
     \  |--------------------------------------------------------|  /
     /__|                     Clan News                          |__\
        '--------------------------------------------------------'

  The Underworld changed their status to a PK clan on March 03, 2004.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The Disciples of {S} Clan was disbanded on March 27, 2004 by their GM.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

There are currently 17 RP clans and 3 PK clans. This leaves open slots
for twelve (12) more clans to form. For more information, read HELP CLAN
and see the clan information list via the CLANS command while logged into
the game. For a basic handbook and reference guide for players interested
in starting and running a clan, we recommend that before you even type
FORM, you visit: http://www.legendmud.org/Reference/gm.html.
     ___                                                          ___
     \  |--------------------------------------------------------|  /
     /__|                    The PK Front                        |__\
        '--------------------------------------------------------'

                Semi-Annual Heavyweight PK Tournament
                
The Official Semi-Annual Heavyweight PK Tournament was a great success!
Here are the bouts:

First round:
            Lorenzo vs Roor, Roor wins
            Karrion vs Shazam, Karrion wins
            Rictor vs Vendetta, Vendetta wins
            Mephesto vs P'h, P'h wins
            Brutus vs Yay, Brutus wins
            Zegron vs Allegory, Allegory wins
            Authority vs Cypri, Authority wins
            Duckon vs Gareth, Gareth wins

Round TWO
            Roor versus Gareth, Gareth wins
            Allegory versus Vendetta, Vendetta wins
            Authority versus Karrion, Karrion wins
            P'h versus Brutus, P'h wins

Round THREE
            Karrion vs P'h, Karrion wins
            Gareth vs Vendetta, Vendetta wins.

ROUND FOUR
            Karrion versus Vendetta, Karrion wins

FINAL ROUND
            First fight: Sammael wins over Karrion
            Second fight: Sammael wins over Karrion to confirm his triumph!

Congrats to everyone who participated and thank you all for your
cooperative spirits -- this was great fun!

Haley & LadyAce

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The three PKE clans, the Underground, the Lords of Justice and the
Grendels all managed to maintain similar numbers of members active each
week. Various other clans have had a few members involved in random
skirmishes, but activity as a whole seems to be rather understated
lately. Even Sana has felt the lack of activity and has set herself up as
a target, offering quite a package to promote pk among people who don't
usually try it, or have never tried it. Check out her news board post
online for more information.

In March, there were 183 pk-related deaths involving 72 different
characters. Of those 72 characters, 22 of them were accept all and 42 of
them were PKE at the time. There were 101 pke vs pke battles that ended
in death. There were 13 robberies reported. There were 94 PKE characters
and 952 PKOK characters.

So far in April, there have been 197 pk-related deaths involving 88 different
characters. Of those 88 characters, 26 of them were accept all and 43 of
them were PKE at the time. There were 104 pke vs pke battles that ended
in death. There were 16 robberies reported. There are 95 PKE characters
and 958 PKOK characters. So come on, get YOUR name up in lights! We can't
report it if you don't tell us!

If you witness or commit any glorious or nefarious deeds, send a short
report to us at the LT. If you are looking for a fight, recruiting, or
anything else related to PK (not necessarily PK Clan related), send it
in! It's free AND you'll get a prize token! Be a celebrity, the envy of
all your friends! Tick off your enemies or just tell your side of the
story! The possibilities are endless -- act today!!

              _______________________
             /                       \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMUD?|
   (o o)     \_______________________/
ooO_(_)_Ooo________________________________________________________________
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|___
__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|

                        A Most Interesting Person

People always seem surprised that I took a shine to Archaon so quickly. 
I dunno why they do. Truth be told, aside from his habit of leaving his
dirty socks lyin' around the house, he's great fun t'be with. Well, and
he does have those odd fits of his, where he'll suddenly go dead silent
and nothin' can rouse him back from wherever it is that he's gone in his
head. Then again, I've had some success with wavin' a platter of thick
steak and potatoes under his nose...

'Big preedy laydee!'

That's what he greeted me with, the day I met him. Barreling toward me
full force as he was, the man was hard to ignore. Archaon is a mighty
big man; even bigger'n me, which is sayin' something for sure. (Pappa
always told me that I was fit to pull a plow. Pappa was right proud o'
me, he was.) And he is one snappy dresser, too. Some of his garments
are so blindingly colorful that they nearly hurt yer eyes.

Even all covered up with his fancy duds, I could see that he's one strong
man. (He's a lot like one o' those big boulders, immovable 'til he wants
to move, hard to stop when he gets a-rollin'.) Not only that, but he has
the biggest, prettiest smile I ever saw on a man. Now, I'm not all that
easily impressed, but he definitely struck my fancy that first day, bein'
such a unique person and all.

So, he says to me, 'Wanna come see housey??'

Well now, all things considered, I just had to see his style of livin'
and find out if it was as interestin' as the rest of him. He took my
hand and sprinted off with such excitement that he nearly tugged me right
off my feet! You'd have thought he was on fire, as quick as he raced me
to his house. When we got there, sure enough, it was no ordinary home. 
If ye ever get a chance to visit it, ye should do so. There are all
manner of interesting things in it. (Just ignore the dirty socks, I'll
be a'pickin' them up as soon as I get there.)

Would ye believe that the man has two bathing tubs?? Now why a man would
need two of them is beyond me, but they're ever s'much fun. He says the
two tubs are totally different things, that one is a 'hot tub', but ye
put hot water in both of 'em, so I don't see all that much difference. 
The one makes bubbles that tickle ye when yer sittin' in it, though. 
That one always makes me giggle.

Soon after, I took notice of this big white garment layin' there, all
decked out with a myriad o' buckles. The sleeves of it were ever so
long. He told me that it's called a 'straight jacket' but I didn't see
much straight about it when he showed me how it's worn. It sort of
twists yer arms around behind yer back in a most inconvenient way. I
never see him wear it, though, so I suppose he came to his senses about
it and realized that sometimes bein' fashionable is just too much work.

As far as fashion goes, Archaon has developed a very strong dislike for
pants. He thinks they're uncomfortable, and he took it into his head
that if they were disagreeable to him, they must be to the rest of the
world, too. He seems to have made it his mission in life to free the
world from pants wherever he goes. He cheers whenever he sees someone
who isn't wearing 'em, and people find this a bit odd about him. But
that's just Archaon. Ye have to know him to understand him.

And he's a dedicated skirt chaser, I must admit. He likes the 'preedy
laydees'. I don't really mind so much, since that's just the way Archaon
is. And it does keep 'im out from under foot at times, I must admit. 
Still, I think I'll put off marryin' him for a bit 'til I have 'im good
an' housebroke. He'll make a good husband then. And as for Pappa, he's
just glad I finally found one bigger'n me.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

'Tis the Third month and tenth day of the year 600BC.

I have spent my entire lifetime searching for the sovereign stone. A
powerful artifact that holds all the knowledge of the universe. Every
mystery, every fact, bound in a crystal pyramid shell.

Today I came upon a Flame-haired lass who told me she knew the
whereabouts of the stone. Only after long ìnegotiationsî and a little
help from my Long sword she gave up this information. She was stubborn
but in the end, when she took her finale breath she spat, ësearch the
land of shadows and defeat the Fallen, for they crave the power of the
stone.í

Now I venture to the Land of Shadows in search of my destiny. I pray to
the Immortal gods that I find the stone before it falls into the wrong
handsÖ.

-Excerpt from the Journal of Baron Shadamehr, Lord of Seeking.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                             Thank You

OUCH! That was a lot more than just a pin prick! The room spins.
Embalmers, canopic jars and a jackal-headed priest wobble and whirl past.
The chamber feels sickeningly hot.

A cool hand rests reassuringly on your shoulder and three figures start
to come into focus. You hear someone hiccup and the spinning begins to
subside.

An unusually pale nun, a lithe vixen and a not-quite-right girl look at
you in anticipation. You feel the vial of blood from the embalmer in your
hand and hesitantly surrender it. The unusually pale nun beams and slips
it into a sack where it clinks against other vials.

'This is working much better than the leeches,' says the not-quite-right
girl. She coos and pets the leech hanging from the back of her left hand.
'Oh, but I didn't mean you, of course.'

The unusually pale nun nods.

You feel uneasy as the unusually pale nun and the not-quite-right girl
advance upon you in your weakened state. Before you can protest they
thrust a gingerbread man and a frosty glass of pink lemonade into your
hands. 'Thank you for making a donation to the Intempesta Nox blood
drive!' they sing in unison.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                        What A Grand Ole Time!

Okay, so I was walking through the park, and I came across two bunnies.
And nothing would have caught my eye if the bunny wouldn't have waved its
wiskies at me. Now, I, Duckon, am indeed a married man! I would not have
any deed with anyone else besides my Jasra!! So, I killed the bunnies.
And killing the bunnies would not have been such a bad thing if I would
have killed them in the circle instead of infront of some stream!! So,
the Princess called, and she wanted me to hurry home. Well, we live on
the other side!! I already killed the bloody bunnies!! So, I yell to her,
'Well darling, give me a second. I will be right over!' Anyway on my way
to the bakery, I came across one of the kings deer, and I thought to
myself 'OH BOY!! DINNER!' Never did I think about 'OH BOY!! PRISON!!'
Well I walked by a guard, and apparently some idiot pig had squealed
because this big hunk of not-worth-my-time junk threw me in a cell!! Boy,
did it stink in there or what! Whoever was in there before me must have
cut one mean piece of cheddar! Argh! So I yelled alot, and someone set me
free. Donno who, but... thanks you!! So I finally make it to a bunny, and
I get to my house and my Jazzie says,'Just wondering how you've been
doing today.' I just smiled and nodded. What a grand ole time!!

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

            How to Embarrass a Knight and Two Templars in One Go

Dear diary,

So I went about my own business in the woods outside Tara when, out of
the blue, an angry, very bad-breathy, sidhe assaulted me and beat me up
real good, before stealing all my possessions.

In my need I found help where I had least expected to find it.

Sir Robar Royce, a man I used to know very well, Frater Tancred and
Alejandro all came to my aid within five minutes of my cry for help. They
all stayed and comforted me while they readied their attack on my
attacker. I am sure Robar didn't mind me being naked and that Tancred is
very used to ignoring such trivial facts - it was not until Alejandro
pointed out my status that I had to cover myself as best I could with my
canoe...

We ventured back into the forest to find my things and along the way we
passed a very displeased sidhe female - so a human woman has your husband
leering or something? - in either case she flew at me, nails and teeth
leading the way while crying out in an eerie voice - I swear it almost
made my blood turn to ice, it did!

Of course the brave men at my side rescued me from this banshee in short
order and we continued into the forest, where my heroes punished my
assaulter and I found all my things... PHEW!

It was comforting to see that Robar still finds me attractive though...
Well that was the impression I got...

I should go out of my way to show my appreciation to these extraordinary
men who will come to the rescue of a gypsy girl with my reputation... I
bet some would have thought I had asked for it.

Really, I never thought I could be this moved by, well... Oh darn, there
I go, weeping like a brainles ninny again.

                                                      Nanna.  

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                   Jobs, Duties, And Kindred Spirits

The two teen boys watched carefully as the scene unfolded just outside
the nearby castle. Someone had come to the visit, inquiring with the
Queen as to when King Rowane would be return home. Rather
uncharacteristically the response was short and curt. After the visitor
left, the normally quiet woman left standing there still in the hall was
angry, hurt... The sounds of frustration echoed in the uncontrolled sobs
as she fled down the hallway towards the door. The palace guards stirred
with extreme unease as the gates were flung open and the mistress of the
castle ran out into the street, disappearing into the night on foot. A
ghost-like visage drifted after her, barely seen in the sandstorm that
appeared to be brewing fast. And from the opened gates appeared the faces
of not just two boys, but also the male newcomer to the castle.

Hamad al-Kasil's gaze went from the newcomer they were ordered to take
watch of, to the ghost hovering after the Queen. They could not be one in
the same.

'We need to tell the others. Now.' Mohammed al-Kasil nudged his brother
with an elbow and the two left their post to return to the soothsayer.

                                -=-=-=-=-

The winds blew MoiraGwyn's hair about her face violently. The whip-like
strands torn from her braid, as well as the braid itself lashing her skin
repeatedly, causing more tears to pour as she ran blindly down the roads
before her.

Amidst the swirling funnels of sand and heated night air there came a
sheer form cloaked by both darkness and the attack of the desert.

'Hi...' The voice, so familiar yet no form from what she could make out
around her. Sand stung her eyes as she turned, looking. In a grip of fear
she took off, fleeing further down the winding roads. She ran until the
comforting feel of wall met her groping outstretched hands. Winds were
increasing and shelter was greatly needed, if the occupants would be so
kind. A blur of red- or was that green?- darted in front of her, blocking
her feet from movement. An inquiring hand met the familiar skin of her
protective companion, Sparky. Hand upon him, he steered her blindly
towards a doorway into the building she found. With a hard push she
shoved herself inside the doorway, allotted time for the salamander to
follow, and used her full weight to shove the door closed against the
wind. But she was not alone. Assisting her push were a squire and two
Templar brother's. She turned to explain herself and the intrusion and
found the amused smile of the Grand Master, a bowl of stewed meat offered
in outstretched hand.

'The winds...' she let her sentence drift off against his knowing nod.
Accepting the offer of food, she stopped to consider her appearance and
how she must seem at that moment. A chaplain brought her a blanket to
rest on and she quietly retreated to a corner of the room- grateful for
the lack of questions. With the serpentine head of an enormous salamander
draped protectively across her lap, she leaned her head to the corner of
the wall and concentrated on thinking about nothing at all.

'I am sorry if I frightened you.. I meant you no harm.' An Arab man of
nagging familiarity appeared to be speaking to her. She stared blankly at
the stranger. He knelt, bringing himself closer to her. Those eyes, she
knew them from somewhere... Sparky did not stir but to eye a group of
strangers seen near the doorway, however the unnerved Queen all but
pasted herself to the wall in concern for her own safety. With a simple
twist of cloth to reveal his partially-hidden face she realized it was
her new friend- clothed to appear as one of the nearby villagers. This
was truly one of the most unlikely places for an assassin to be seen.Her
eyes went wide as she leaned forward to examine his face.

'Amazing... What magick be this??' She whispered curiously. His eyes
sparkled as he explained his newly taught ability to quickly hide his
appearance from others.

'But I never even heard you chant!' Her face read of enthralled amazement
as she pondered if this man was more skilled and cunning than her own
husband- an experienced and masterful wizard in his own right. Could this
be possible? Surely not!

'Chant? Chant what?' The two stared at each other as if trying to
understand. He seemed to ponder for a moment. 'This is a skill used by
people in my profession. To assist in quickly changing our appearance so
that we go unnoticed by others when we are sought out. It is not magick
as you call it. It is face covering or skin powders, changes in clothes.
Small things really, most people do not pay close attention to others.'
MoiraGwyn nodded in understanding, her gaze still transfixed by the
changes in his general appearance.

'As it were I happened by and couldn't resist speaking to you, but I
forgot I was blending in nearly invisibly. We are still searching for
those killing our hashish dealers and I needed to be discreet.

As realizations of the scene he may have seen took told, MoiraGwyn's
cheeks flushed. She nodded silently.

'The winds were so strong, so fast. And you frightened me. And...' She
glanced from the floor to his eyes, her own drawn face speaking far more
than her lips were ready to.

He inched closer to her, his voice but a whisper. 'I am sorry.'

The two unlikely new friends stared quietly at each other, allowing all
that was unsaid to ease the souls of them both.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                            Poem of Horror

                        The horror, The horror. 
                        Upon us, you will see.
                        
                        The horror, the horror.
                        Questions left to me.
                        
                        The horror, the horror.
                        Hunting her pray.
                        
                        The horror, the horror.
                        Dispair, death and dismay.
                        
                        The fear, the fear.
                        Too close to the edge.
                        
                        The fear, the fear.
                        Darkness in your head.
                        
                        The pain, the pain.
                        Razor's edge blood red.
                        
                        The path, the path.
                        Horror made you dead!
                        
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