Previous Issue Main Index Next Issue
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
.............._______
............./      /            THE LEGENDARY TIMES
............/      /
.........../      /.....______.._____.....______.._____.......____
........../      /...../     /./     \.../     /./     \...../    \
........./      /...../  ___/./  ____/../  ___/./  __.  \.../  /\  \
......../      /...../  /_.../  /....../  /_.../  /..\   >./  /./  /
......./      /...../  __/../  /____../  __/../  /.../  /./  /./  /
....../      /_____/__/__../  \_\  /./  /__../  /.../  /./  /_/  /
...../                / /./       /./     /./  /.../  /./       /
..../                /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD
.../________________/       running on   bashful.cc.utexas.edu 9999
                                                 128.83.108.17 9999
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
    http://www.cs.cmu.edu:8001/Web/People/johnmil/legend/legend.html
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
VOLUME TWO, ISSUE TWENTY-FIVE                            May 13th, 1995
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 
      DON'T FORGET TO TELL YOUR MOM HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! *POKE*
 
                       ...:/:[ CONTENTS ]:\:...
                       
                              AREA STUFF

                           - Hell updated -

                               ARTICLES

             -         CLeo on respect for all         -
             - on archiving characters over the summer -

                          FUND DRIVE STATUS

                            SOCIAL EVENTS

                 - Moira converts to the Dark Lord -
                 -         Mallon's Bridge         -
                 -     CLeo's farewell for now     -
                 -     Crowe and Willow to wed     -
                 -             Babies!             -
                 -    Birdy and Eretz mix it up    -

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                           MORE HELL UPDATES
                           
- That pesky wormtooth is no longer quite as devastating a pkill weapon
  anymore.

- other stuff was updated, but you'll need to ask Flagg what.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
                       .'                       '.
                     .:          FEATURE          :.
                      '.        ARTICLES!        .'
                        '                       '
':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':'

                             RESPECT FOR ALL

                                by CLeo

        Hello friends of Legend.  I am sending you this letter to say
thanks to all of you for the kindness you have shown towards me since I
started the game.  For the one who don't know what I am talking about
then well you'll know one day or the other.

        On May 11th (from 10th to 11th to be more exact), at around 3am
atlantic time, a basher came online.  He started yelling insulting
comments... and was using the chat line too to discriminate everyone in
every way possible.

        The gods that were online at that time did what they could
possibly do to calm him.  The basher was muzzled.. but still he played
his game with tells.. and of course in "direct" contact, being in front
of others.

        Finally the basher got tired and went away.  Let's hope for
everyone that he doesn't show up again.

        Legend Mud is not the place for bashing, I am sure you all know
that.  People are free to express PERSONALLY how they feel to one person
(or more) if they want, as long at they "tell" them.  The mud itself is
not a place for insulting people or lowering them as a person.  There are
other internet connections or site that people can join to for that kinda
thing.

        To finish this letter, I would ask each of you a favor.  If some
of your friends wants to get into the mud, please tell them to be polite
if they have some kind of a "bad attitude".  It's not fun to get insulted
and "crushed with insults".  If they have something to say, fine, they can
say it privately as long as it doesn't become harassing.

--CLeo of the hermetics

[Editor's note: Legend is a place with a mature atmosphere and we'd like to
keep it that way. We realize that telling YOU this instead of the Net is
sort of preaching to the converted, but it's better than not telling anyone.
:) You guys manage to make an enjoyable place to be thanks to your polite
and considerate natures. It is because we enjoy such a range of ages and
professions and walks of life on the mud that we ask that people not behave
in manners that are rude. Thank you for respecting the beliefs of others
and please do let us know if you feel someone has been personally insulting
towards you (as a player, not as a character, that is). Of course, this can
get hard to determine in cases of roleplaying, in which case we encourage
you to go to the OOC and hash it out. That's what "Out of Character" is for.]

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':'

                ON ARCHIVING CHARACTERS OVER THE SUMMER

Many players have come up to us recently and asked us to archive their
characters because of long absences from the mud. Our usual policy is to
go through the playerfiles once a month and delete all those which have
been inactive since the last check.

Over the summer we do not follow this policy, but we have not yet done
the last wipe before the summer period starts. Also, we plan to move
sites soon, and may need to weed out playerfiles in order to save space.

If you plan to be absent from the mud for an extended time this summer,
please drop us an email at koster@dbtech.net to let us know that your
character(s) should be archived for safekeeping. This is only needed
if you are sure that you will be gone for the whole summer plus some, and
want added safety and security. Make sure you have already played your
last session on Legend BEFORE asking for the character to be archived,
or we may archive a version of the playerfile that is not up to date.

The following characters have already been archived at the request of
their players, so expect not to see them around:

	Matrix				Infidel				RoyMast
	Ozy					CLeo				Ennui
	Crazylegs			Breton
	
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':':'

                            FUND DRIVE STATUS
                            
A player at Legend who desires to see the mud continue has made a very
generous offer. In order to spur donations, this player has offered to MATCH
ANY DONATIONS from now on, up to the sum of $200. The only exception is to
be donations made by immortals, as the donor wishes to encourage players to
feel that it is they who have made the effort to keep the mud alive by
providing a home for it.

So remember, any donations made from now on will be ANONYMOUSLY matched by
another citizen of Legend! There will be weekly updates on the progress of
this renewed effort in the fund drive. If you can send a dollar, it will
count as $2! If you can only send $25, it'll count as $50! Please make this
generous person's gift worthwhile by doubling our chances of getting a new
site for LegendMUD.

Current status:
TOTAL CASH IN HAND:    $885			unchanged
TOTAL DONORS:           12			unchanged
ROUGH TOTAL PLEDGED:   $1150
TOTAL PLEDGES:          21			unchanged

RECENT DONATIONS  MATCHABLE FUNDS    TOTAL MATCHABLE FUNDS   FUNDS MATCHED
$50               $50                $110                    $50

Items donated: a 200mb hard drive
               a monitor
               a keyboard

We suggest that those who have the money burning a hole in their pocket
go ahead and send the checks directly to the following address and we will
get the letters out to them as soon as we can, perhaps even crossing in
the mail. This is the address to send donations to:

           (make checks payable to Raphael and Kristen Koster)
    
                     Raph and Kristen Koster
                     University Station
                     PO Box 1114
                     Tuscaloosa AL 35486-1114
                     USA

If you are an overseas donor who cannot write a check in US Dollars, please
email us at the LT address given at the end of this newsletter.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

              ________________________
            /                         \
        o O | Wonder what folks are    |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMud? |
   (o o)     \________________________/
ooO_(_)_Ooo_____________________________________________________________
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|
__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|___
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|

                          \|/  \|/  \\||//  \!/

There came a day when a voice was heard out of nowhere. It spoke annoyingly
in all capital letters, and something in the voice identified it instantly
as a Power, a Dark Lord indeed. And it spake: MOIRA! and Moira of the
hazel eyes promptly and sensibly replied, "Huh?" and cringed.

THE TIME HAS COME, the Dark Lord said, and his antipaladin No, suitor to
Moira (well, sometimes, but that's a long story) told his beloved not to
be afraid.

"Er... what time?" asked Moira.

"Oooh, it is Friday... fish day!" piped up Ren.
I AM NOT A FISH, said the Dark Lord aggrievedly.
"Are you sure?" asked Ren. "Lots of rumors flying about..."
"Not a guppy?" Mystique said, apparently astonished.
At this point, loyal antipaladin that he is, No inquired if Ren was clanned.

Looking nervous and thinking fast, Moira said, "I can explain what I said
last week... really... it was the mead talking... I meant no disrespect!"

MOIRA, YOU NEED NOT EXPLAIN. I KNOW WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART, the Dark Lord
said. EXCEPT FOR THAT SMALL CORNER IN THE LEFT UPPER VENTRICLE.

Ren chuckled, Cleo looked a little boggled, and Moira gasped loudly. As
this happened, a formless black cloud full of ominous glooshing noises
formed in the air above Moira.

YOU SHOULD GET THAT LOOKED AT BY A COMPETENT PRACTITIONER, BY THE WAY.
Moira nodded numbly. 

"See Moira?" said No, attentive as always. "The Dark Lord is worried about
your health."
(The Dark Lord glooshed discreetly.)
"It's touching, really..." said Ren to No.
"What happened to Moira?" CLeo demanded to know.
Pug snickered. "Moira's gonna geeet it...moira's gonna geeeet it!" He looked
terribly amused by this.
"What????" CLeo said, yet more confused. "She have a bad align?"

"It's awfully smoky in here," Moira remarked to nobody in particular, then
looked up again as the Dark Lord spoke once more. IT IS TIME MOIRA. YOU HAVE
LEARNED OF THE DARKNESS IN YOUR HEART, he said. IT HAS AFFECTED WHAT YOU SEE
AND WHAT YOU DO.

"What??!!" she said, astonished. Ever gallant, Byron urged her, "Do not
succumb, m'lady!" only to get told, "Hey! You stay out of it, Byron!" by No.

"Me? dark?" She looked around and at herself, maybe checking for spots. "I'm
just a nice girl from Ireland!"
Ren asked, "She has to vote Republican now?" and Dagney growled at him.

YOU ARE NOT "NICE," OR ELSE I WOULDN'T BE TALKING TO YOU, the Dark Lord
pointed out, quite reasonably.
"What darkness could I have?" she asked.

At this point, side bets began to be placed. Farnsworth chimed in with a
hearty "Persevere Moira, we are behind you!" and Mystique with an equally
hearty "Twenty bucks says the guppy gets Moira!"
"I dunno, sound fishy," muttered Ren, and Mystique cackled.
"Ren, you cod... you villian!" howled Pug, as he rolled on the floor with
laughter. Meanwhile, Moira continued protesting her goodliness.

THE DARKNESS WITHIN YOU SPREADS OUTWARDS FROM WITHIN, said the Dark Lord.
ESPECIALLY FROM THE LEFT VENTRICLE. And as he spoke, Moira's eyes filmed
over with black, spreading outwards from within! Even as this happened,
she was listing off her good qualities. "I wash my brothers' socks... I am
nice to small children..."
The Dark Lord chuckled darkly and said, SMALL CHILDREN ARE MY BEST AGENTS.

A gloosh was heard.

"Yuk, this is disgusting," CLeo said distastefully.
Moira screeched in horror as she realized her blindness, and tripped over
her own feet.  "It's dark in here!"

At this point Ren wondered aloud if the Dark Lord worked for scale, but
nobody got it.

THE TIME HAS COME TO CHOOSE, MOIRA. THE DARKNESS HAS COME OUT FROM WITHIN
YOU. YOU MUST CHOOSE TO LIVE BY THE LIGHT OF YOUR SOUL, OR LEARN TO WALK IN
DARKNESS, quoth the Dark Lord, then paused pensively. AND THE LIGHT IN YOUR
SOUL LOOKS TO BE ON PAR WITH A REFRIGERATOR LIGHT BULB.

Ren snickered at that as well, while Mystique went "ooh..." and winced.
Helpless, crying out in immense despair, Moira shouted, "WHY?" to the dark
cloud hovering above her. "My soul was plenty light before!"

WELL, said the Dark Lord, CAN YOU SEE NOW? in the suffering tones of one
who is pointing out the obvious.

"It will make you feel better," urged No, but Moira got her back up at the
Dark Lord's assertion of the state of her soul. "And how would you know, my
Dark Lord?"
BECAUSE YOU ARE MINE, AND I KNOW YOU, MOIRA. YOU CANNOT SEE BECAUSE YOUR
SOUL SHEDS NO LIGHT.

"Uhm," said Moira. "It's awfully dark in here."

The Dark Lord glooshed sympathetically.

Moira sniffed sadly, and Mystique offered to auction her a lamp. "No!" said
Ren. "Replace it with a compact fluorescent."
FLUORESCENT LIGHT BULBS ARE SOME OF MY BEST AGENTS, the Dark Lord said
casually.
"GE soft-white bulb." suggested Mystique.
Ren nodded. "Or get a halogen, but don't touch the bulb."
"No..." Moira said, blinking in confusion. "I really am blind."
No growled. "Show some respect, people!"
"Gee," Quentin said. "I think the dark lord needs new writers."

"Uhm, let's back up a sec," Moira said. "What exactly am I choosing??!!"
"Do not listen to him, Moira!" Byron enjoined, but the Dark Lord overrode
him, saying, IF YOU LIKE, I CAN MAKE THE DARKNESS SPREAD TO OTHER
PARTS OF YOU AS WELL.

"You mean like cancer?" Moira said, trembling.
"Hmmm," said Ren.
The Dark Lord considered his options. THOUGH THAT BLACK FILM IS A BITCH TO
GET OUT OF HAIR WITHOUT DECENT CONDITIONER.

Mystique speculated on the coolness of an instant tan.

CHOOSE TO SEE IN DARKNESS, OR TO LIVE WITH THE LIGHT OF YOUR SOUL! thundered
the dark cloud, sloshing slightly.
Moira looke pensive. "So... if I choose your side... what's in it for me? I
have a VERY decent offer from the OTS."
No muttered, "You are considering becoming Kiera bait?" and rolled his eyes.

The Dark Lord roared. YOU GET ME--I WOULD FOREVER RESIDE IN YOUR HEART! Then
somehow the cloud manages to look thoughtful. I'D EVEN CLEAN UP THAT VENTRICLE
THINGY.

"Hey did you do a guest spot on Star Trek once?" Quentin suddenly wanted to
know. STAR TREK: VOYAGER IS ONE OF MY BEST AGENTS, replied the Dark Lord
enigmatically.

Moira said, sort of to the audience, "I mean... what's a lifetime of
blindness anyway?"
"We can't compete with the Dark Lord, Moira..." Dagney said sadly.
"Her question answers it all." Nilrem said.
"I could be another Homer," Moira mused.
"That sounds like fun........NOT!" snorted Byron.
YOU AND YOU ALONE WOULD HEAR MY VOICE--YOU AND YOU ALONE WOULD UNDERSTAND
MY WISHES, the Dark Lord said persuasively. YOU WOULD BE MY AVATAR, MY
ANTIPALADIN, MOIRA. He paused, and then added the clincher. AND THEN WOULD
YOU SEE...
"Yes... the next Homer..." Moira said to herself, still lost in her little
fantasy world. Then she tripped over her own feet and tumbled down an
embankment, landing on her head. "Hmm," she said. "This isn't working so
well."

A mysterious slooshing noise came from within the darkness.

"Avatar?" wanted to know Mystique. "She'd be a bird for the fish?" Still on
his earlier thread, Quentin rambled on. "Now we know Tasha Yar was killed
by the Dark Lord... (he must still use the Star Trek:TNG 1st season writers
too)..."

"Uhm..." Moira said, "would i get immunity from PK? Retirement benefits?"
"Dental plan?" added Mystique helpfully.
"I mean, this anti thing would KILL my social life," Moira said.
"I'll still love you, Moira!" Dagney exclaimed. "In that platonic sorta way."

NO IMMUNITY FROM PKILL, MERELY FROM HEAVENLY RETRIBUTION, the Dark Lord said,
settling down into salesman mode. THE RETIREMENT BENEFITS ARE THE BEST--WE
OWN THE CHOICEST REAL ESTATE AND ALSO THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF MOST
POLITICIANS AND HIGH FINANCE PEOPLE. DENTAL PLAN COVERS EVERYTHING EXCEPT
COSMETIC WORK SUCH AS FANGS OR OVERBITES.

Ren eeked. "Do you really wanna go golfing with brokers and Newt Gingrich?"
Curiously, the Dark Lord didn't say anything about agents at all. This time.
But he fidgeted and some water spilled out. "Who wants to spend their
retirement with politicians?" Nilrem agreed.


"Hmm," said Moira, as No jotted down the names of those cracking jokes on
his pkill list. Peering over his shoulder, Ren pointed out, "A fish is a fish
is a Dark Lord, No..."

I GROW IMPATIENT, the Dark Lord grumbled. TO SEE OR NOT TO SEE, MOIRA.
"This blindness bit is getting to be a bore," Moira gulped, sadly saying
goodbye to her former life.
CHOOSE! the Dark Lord hollered.

The terrible choice nearly made, people of righteous mind began to express
their disapproval and horror. Byron let loose an eloquent and heartfelt 
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and Mystique
called out, "Moira! Don't become bait!"
Moira sighed. "I can't believe I'm doing this."
"NNNOO Moira!" called out Farnsworth. "All for the love of No??" asked
Poledra. "Take the curtain!!! Take the curtain!!!" screamed Pug.

"What choice do I have?" Moira said sadly.
"You GO girl!" cheered No, as the dark cloud gathered itself into a tiny,
slightly soggy ball, then zoomed up into the heavens!
"It's dreadfully dark in here," Moira informed everyone, as the ball soared
upwards, then arced down, gathering momentum!

"See the Light, Moira!" Bryon cried, in a last desperate attempt to save
her soul. "Look out, it's gonna blow!" Mystique cried, ducking for cover.
"So he's not a guppy, he's a flying fish!" Ren said, understanding dawning
on his face. Moira just cringed, not aware of the forces rushing towards her.

"Poor Moira," CLeo said, shaking his head.
"Forgive me, mom!" called out Moira, aware that a threshold was about to be
passed. YOUR HEART HAS CHOSEN! PLEDGE TO MY SERVICE, MOIRA, MY ANTIPALADIN!
echoed the mighty booming voice of the Dark Lord.
Looking around desperately for the source of the voice, Moira spoke rapidly,
saying. "Mistakes were made," then looked resigned. In a steady voice, she
said, "I pledge allegiance, to the Dark Lord, and the darkness for which he
stands."

The dark soggy spot zoomed down, right into Moira, with a great SPLOOSHING
sound, right into her chest, INSIDE her! She fell over from the impact.

"EWWWWWW!" Pug said.
"That's a little racy," noted Dagney. CLeo just sighed, wishing he wasn't
around to hear all this depressing stuff.

IT IS DONE, quoth the Dark Lord, a little muffled now, inside Moira's chest.
YOU ARE MINE.

"You would think being an eternal evil he would have come up with a better
style," groused Nilrem.

A LITTLE CRAMPED IN HERE. AND THIS VENTRICLE HAS *GOT* TO GET FIXED, the
Dark Lord said, poking at it. Asd the Dark Lord settled into Moira's heart,
the film slipped from her eyes. The darkness vanished, and she was illumined
from within, with a sickly green light... When it faded, her formerly hazel
eyes were bright green!

"Hey!" exclaimed No. "She accepted the Dark Lord, do you think she'll accept
me now?"
Pug wondered if the going-on counted as film moir... Ren got it and groaned.

NOW YOU CAN SEE IN THE DARK, MOIRA--FOR YOU ARE OF IT, said the Dark Lord.
Moira blinked as she looked around with her new eyes. "Everything's green!"
she said.

"I guess I'm not as lucky as the Dark Lord," No said mournfully, realizing
that Moira didn't seem about to answer his earlier question. But Moira
tenderly said, "Of course I accept you, No... if you can accept me."

Right around then Lark arrived, and went ack thpphphtttht! all over the
proceedings, and uttered a disbelieving, "Moira?"

REMEMBER, mentioned the Dark Lord, still busy with his ventricle-poking.
YOU AND YOU ALONE ARE NOW MY ANTIPALADIN. DO NOT BE SWAYED BY FALSE PROPHETS.
No looked boggled. "What about me?"
"Not even No?" Moira said, incredulous.
No poked Moira's chest, trying to get at the Dark Lord.
A small cloudlet emerged from moira ears and peered blearily at No. WHO ARE
YOU? it asked.

Meanwhile, the bystanders continued on with their varied reactions. Lark
demanded, "Moira, what are you doing?" while Dagney wanted to know if that
was a song by the Who.

"I seem to be having a religious experience, Lark," Moira said to her friend,
while No continued talking into her ear and at the cloudlet that lived there.
The cloudlet seemed to be accidentally raining.

"What do you mean who am I?" No huffed, secure in his knowledge that he was
the antipaladin of the Dark Lord.
The cloudlet slithered a little further out of Moira's ear and floated about
No's face, then seemed to brighten in recognition. ER, I'M THE DARK LORD
SHLA'KSKTHEMENEETIOG, it said apologetically. I THINK YOU ARE A FOLLOWER OF
TSGKLECH'ONTKBAMNMNMNOUUUK.
No gasped in horror.
"Oh," said Ren, "say hey to C'thulhu."

The clouldlet floated over to him and glared at him. I REFUSE TO SAY HELLO
TO THAT BOTTOMFEEDING FANCYTAILED AQUARIUM PET, it said snottily, then it
returned to Moira's ear.

"Boy," said Lark, a little exasperated. "Leave for a few moments and everyone
is having delusions of grandeur."

No hollered into Moira's ear, after the quickly disappearing cloudlet, "I
thought you were all one and the same?" But the Dark Lord who went by
Shla'kskthemeneetiog ignored him, saying behind his back (?)  NOW, PLEASE
EXCUSE ME WHILE I TRY TO GET THIS SILLY BLACK CLOUD OUT OF MY HAIR... I NEED
A SHOWER, and vanished into Moira's skull. It didn't even tickle.

"Any chance of a dark lord alliance?" Moira wanted to know, but the Dark Lord
wasn't answering.
No looked thoughtful. "I'll have to talk to Edith about this."
"Or her sister Kate..." Pug said helpfully.
Lark sighed, and said to Moira, "What am I gonna do with you, hon."

"But not both," Pug continued. "'Cause you can't have your Kate and Edith
too." He seemed about to say more, but Farnsworth shouted "ARRGGGH" and
jumped him. A brief scuffle ensued.

"Keep me from eating fish," Moira said to Lark.
Lark sighed.
The cloudlet perked up its ears. EH? WHY STOP? CANNIBALS ARE SOME OF MY BEST
AGENTS.

No spoke again into Moira's ear, still trying to make sense of it all. "Um,
so you're not the astral catfish i saw in the Nazcan desert?"

With what sounds like a majestic *plip plop* the Dark Lord withdrew into the
caverns of Moira's heart, and soon came the sound of brooms sweeping out
ventricles, followed by 'gloosh-gloosh a-CHOO!'

"I must say that the writing style has improved," Sabrina noted.
"Hmm... my resting pulse rate went down," Moira said, breathing deep.

Since the whole situation seem to have calmed down, Dagney felt free to
complain. "Sheesh, when I became a member of OTS, I got 'poof, you're a
bard.'"

"Convert," suggested No, and stuck his tongue out at her. And with that, all
conversation ended.

                          \|/  \|/  \\||//  \!/

But this was not the end of Moira's exploits this week. The following ballad
arrived at the offices of the LT, signed by Dusty. A letter also accompanied
the song, in which Dusty noted that she heard this tale while visiting Eire
recently, and set it to music. She apologized in advance to Mr. Michael Hough
whose tale it is, for taking a few artistic liberties, and suggested that it
be done in a different key because she really hates that F chord. She also
mentioned that Hough performs with Mustard's Retreat and that all true lovers
of ballads ought to check them out.

MALLON'S BRIDGE
(with apologies to Mustard's Retreat)
 
Now, there's a tale I'm after singing
that my Grandpa used to tell
He said 'twas to enlighten me
and chasten me as well
You may laugh about your elders
when the sun is shining bright
but be sure you're on the Christian side
of Mallon's Bridge tonight
 
The village kirk is strong and tall
besides the River Wyth
and there are buried decent folks
who said their prayers at night
but just across the river
there's a ring of standing stones
and there are buried secrets
far older than human bones
 
Sean Mallon was a mason
in the village long ago
He set to build a bridge
for the convenience of the road
He thought he'd make his fortune
taking pennies for the toll
but he was swallowed up
by something evil from of old
 
Sean Mallon was a headstrong man
and burly so they say
and those who offered caution
heard his laughter all the day
He built his bridge with stones
he stole upon the other side
and cursed us all with vengeance
from across the River Wyth

And so the story grew
among the elders and and their wives
of those who ventured over
Mallon's Bridge after midnight
For some were heard to scream
and some were never found alive
and some were rendered speechless
after running for their lives

Now me, I'm no believer
in such stories as they're told
but things there are around us
that can chill a heart so bold
and never will I laugh again
at Grandpa and his ale,
for I have been across the bridge
and lived to tell the tale

Oh drunk I was at Paddy's Pub
and turned to call for more
and there I saw a lovely lass
I'd never seen before
her wicked eye was gleaming
aand was greener than the sea
and I was sure she'd never
seen as fine a man as me

She said her name was Moira
and she touched me on the knee
I offered her such gallantries
as then occurred to me
She said that she would meet with me
and spend the night alone
across the River Wyth
inside the ring of standing stones

Oh drunk I was it's true
and so too quick did I agree
and quickly was she gone
although I barely blinked my eye
and so I be my friends farewell
and stood out from the light
and made my way a-reeling
over Mallon's Bridge that night

Now mortal man was never born
more cowardly than I
but drinking Murphy's whiskey
throw my fear into the sky
and so I found myself
feeling foolish and alone
and lusting for a woman
in a ring of standing stones

The fear fell sudden on me
I confess I turned to run
and something ran behind me
How I wished then for the sun!
and close it came behind me
ever faster though I ran
and breath I felt and eyes i saw
that were no beast nor man

I ran a-fearing more
for my own soul than for my life
and so I saw the moon
was gleaming on the River Wyth
and what it was that hunted me
I venture not to say
for devils walk in many forms
that shun the light of day

I ran and fell and ran again
just like a man possessed
If I had been the slower...
I refuse to make a guess...
but I became a humble man
and glad to be alive
by coming nigh the village kirk
and safe across the River Wyth

So tell me of your weary faith
and of the worldly load
I'll tell you of the slithery marks
shining in the road
For I was found my day
lying shivering in the dirt
with rents of claws and stains
of Devil's Breath upon my shirt

Ah, but still I am a drinking man
and merry now for life
for I outraced the Devil
back across the river Wyth
and many a pot of ale I hoist
to my own lovely feet
and to the lovely Moira
whom I've no desire to meet

Now, there's a tale I'm after singing
that my Grandpa used to tell
He said twas to enlighten me
and chasten me as well
You may laugh about your elders
when the sun is shining bright
but be sure you're on the Christian side
of Mallon's Bridge tonight

                          \|/  \|/  \\||//  \!/

One of our players who's going to be absent for the summer dropped off this
open letter to you all:

"I will miss all of you deeply... :'(   But hey! I'll be back in
September... and I'll level up again...

"Now you all take care of yourselves... I will miss you dearly.
*mega hug*

"bye bye,
Love you all,

--CLeo of the hermetics"

                          \|/  \|/  \\||//  \!/

Sir Crowe of the Knights of Legend and Willow would like to announce their
engagement.  They plan to wed in a ceremony tentatively planned for June 1st.
No site has been decided on and other details are sketchy at this point, but
all will be welcome and encouraged to attend.  No gifts will be required.

                          \|/  \|/  \\||//  \!/

Birdy tells us, "Greyscot and I would like to announce the birth of our
babies. The twins were born a while ago, and are big enough now to play about
on the mud." The two are named Alexandra and Morgan, and the former has
already been seen out and about, asking rather precocious questions. Word is
that Morgan, the boy, is sweet-tempered and a nice little feller.

                          \|/  \|/  \\||//  \!/

The following account was delivered anonymously to the LT--please take up
all complaints about the accuracy or bias of it with the anonymous author.
:) Or feel free to respond publicly of course. The day care issue has come
to Legend, and boy are people upset...

                          \|/  \|/  \\||//  \!/

"Apparently there has been something of a falling out between the OTS Guild
Master Eretz and Birdy, Deputy Guild Master of the Knights of Legend. What
follows was pieced together from the argument which followed on chat. Eretz
approached Birdy for help on behalf of Shelby, who had been killed twice that
day by Kiera. Birdy declined to help, simply replying 'no.'  Eretz interpreted
this 'no' as 'no I can't talk right now.' Birdy clarified the matter pointing
out that she 'didn't feel like helping anyone right now, having quite enough
to do taking care of her two small children.'  Eretz replied to Birdy 'well
since you don't even help your own people i guess i couldn't expect any thing
else. please forget i said anything at all.'

"At this point Birdy brought the discussion to chat, asking if she should
mention how Eretz insulted her. Enough people said yes (though they very well
may have regretted it considering how long and drawn out the whole affair
became...). Birdy chatted what Eretz had said, and was rather unhappy that
Eretz, someone who is not a knight, was casting aspersions on her clan
loyalties. Eretz complained about the matter being brought to chat. Birdy was
rather relentless in her verbal attack on Eretz at that point, occasionally
chatting what he said that set her off in the first place. Eretz insisted that
the whole thing was a misunderstanding. However at one point he insisted that
he hadn't said what Birdy said he had said, calling Birdy a liar. Eretz
waffled and backed down, continually changing the assertions he was making on
chat.

"During this conflict, Moira supported Birdy whole-heartedly, while Crowe
pointed out that Eretz had helped him a lot lately and that Birdy was being
unfair. This led to arguing between Moira and Crowe. No found out that Moira
was being hurt by the arguing, and set off to kill Crowe. Crowe fled from the
attack to the ooc lounge and pointed out over chat that he didn't need or want
No's attack. They worked out a deal where No would not kill Crowe if Crowe
apologized, and so Crowe apologized to Moira publicly. Moira asked the Dark
Lord about accepting the apology, and since the Dark Lord had a headache from
all the noise 'down here' he told her to accept. Moira accepted the apology,
and so No let Crowe live.

"Eretz then proceeded to praise No and Moira for the happy ending.  Before No
could sort out whether Eretz had hurt Birdy, Eretz had left. Will we see Eretz
being forced into a public apology soon? What if Birdy does not accept?

"It is rumored that although Eretz attempted to apologize to Birdy, she was too
hurt to accept an apology much less talk to him.  One can only guess at what
sorts of repercussions this will have on bard/knight relations, if any...
(Those with long memories might recall that Birdy got killed by Bremmar and
Sylia when she was trying to help Eretz one time. Perhaps Birdy cannot respect
Eretz any longer due to his comments, and the fact that he ran constantly from
those that killed her on his behalf...)"

                          \|/  \|/  \\||//  \!/

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 Legendary Times is put out by the gods of LegendMUD. Please send all
   replies/additions to koster@dbtech.net for inclusion in the next  
 edition. We, however, reserve the right to moderate this discussion,
and may object to some submissions. If you feel we have wrongly omitted 
 one of your messages, please talk to either Kaige or Ptah online or 
 through EMail and see if we did indeed receive it in the first place.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 The LegendMUD anonymous ftp site has all back issues of the Legendary
 Times available for anonymous ftp. Its address is given in the banner
  at the top of this message. Once connected, cd pub/users/legend/lt,
  and you will find directories containing volumes one and two, broken
 in sets of ten issues. The anonymous ftp site also houses other files
      that may be of interest to you. Visit our Web page too!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Previous Issue Main Index Next Issue