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VOLUME TWO, ISSUE THIRTY-FOUR                           October 7, 1995
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                     *****************************

                       ...:/:[ CONTENTS ]:\:...
                     
                            *CODE UPDATES*
                              
                              *ARTICLES*

                            *ANNOUNCEMENTS*
 
                          -Fund Drive Update-

                            *SOCIAL EVENTS*

                             -Clan Updates-
     
                     -Another Reappearance of Dusty-                   
                     
                                -SMILE-
  
                          -Legendary Ballads-

                         -Orphan Finds Family-
  
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Please send your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address
at stevensj@ucsu.colorado.edu. Letters to the editor are welcomed.
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                           CODE UPDATES

Seoni Jungle:

- Chil the kite shouldn't be quite so murderously difficult anymore.
- Ko's Beak should look right now.

The great quest of the Seoni jungle has been updated in order to prevent
some of the recent abuses. Here's a list of changes:

- Only those who have never gotten the key before can get it now. (If you
  don't know how to get the key, well, sorry, this ain't gonna tell you). :)
- The caverns the river flows under should now check properly for
  boats--you cannot go through if you have one.
- The ankus is no longer rentable.

Beowulf fixes:

- Grendel should now come out properly at night.
- The problem with Wulfgar not announcing you at night because he couldn't
  see you is fixed.
- The walknot looks right now :)
- The dragon has one additional spell that he was miscasting before.

Nazca:

- The teacher of make bandage is fixed.

Egypt and Mediterranean:

- The bow works now.
- The mesh bag won't hold quite so much as it used to (since it is, after 
  all, only made of mesh).

Clan halls:

- The disembodied spirits should work now to make halls secure from thefts
  by the unclanned.

General:  

- The typo in the freeze attack message is fixed.
- Piles of scraps will now decay after 1 mud day.

                       *\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*

                             REMINDER

Player killing enabled characters who wish to un-clan under the Legend 
Clan Amnesty Program have until October 9 to do so. Remember that this is 
a one time shot (you won't have this chance again) and that once 
un-clanned, a character cannot be re-clanned.  
                        
                      ******************** 
        
                       FUND DRIVE UPDATE 

It turns out that RAM prices were more expensive than we expected them to
be. Between that the site fees for the first six months, plus what we
already owed Sadist, we still lack about $325. Yes, we are now open on the 
new site, but we do still need pledges and donations :) (Many thanks to 
the players who have already made a sizable dent in our "debt"!!!)

We suggest that those who have the money burning a hole in their pocket 
go ahead and send the checks directly to the following address and we 
will get the letters out to them as soon as we can, perhaps even crossing 
in the mail. 

This is the address to send donations to: 

           (make checks payable to Raphael and Kristen Koster)

                     Raph and Kristen Koster
                     12603 Rhea Ct. 
                     Austin, TX 78727

If you are an overseas donor who cannot write a check in US Dollars,
please email them at koster@eden.com. 

***********************************************************************
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        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMud?|
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                             CLAN NEWS

***Late breaking story***
Kiera has been permakilled. It is unclear whether this was her own choice or
at the hands of an enemy, but we hope to bring you the full story in the
next LT issue.

The Mercenary has apparently chosen to delay his plans to overlord the 
Knights until after the deadline for un-clanning. Seems that he wants to 
know who exactly he'll be up against before going on with his plans...

The Hermetics and members of the newly formed Clan Grendel have been 
involved in several battles this past week. The formerly peaceful 
Hermetics seem to have become rather fierce...rumor has it that they 
exact two deaths for every Hermetic death and one death for every attack 
made on a Hermetic. So far, they seem to be adhering to this 
policy....

                          *******

Yes, it actually happened. Dusty the long-absent bardette, she of the sharp
tongue, silly puns, and many enemies, made an appearance recently. It was
far from a quiet one, however; she was outraged that nobody seemed to
remember who she was. She vented her spleen upon the Order of the Scroll,
from which she noisily resigned, complete with official statement full of
accusations that the clan is cowardly and can't carry a tune in a bucket.
Then she turned her beady little eyes on Mercenary and improvised a rather
scathing and bitter ballad on his failings...

"You gather souls up to your heart and watch them slip away--
 Who will hold you to their chest come YOUR judgement day?"

She departed in the midst of it, angrily denouncing the people present and
listening as pathetic lumps incapable of standing up for themselves ("Who
would think I'd miss the KNIGHTS? At least they PRETENDED to stand for
something...").

What can we say...? Dusty's back... better watch out, and be sure to be
complimentary or you may get immortalized in songs you'd rather not hear.

                        /*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\
 
In the midst of all the controversy concerning player killings, 
retribution, and Over-Lordships, a new wave of non player killing
clans is coming in. As many of you may have noticed, there seem to be 
an awful lot of "Mac Larens" running around in kilts and sashes these 
days (Kendrik, to the best of our knowledge, seems to be the "original" 
Mac Laren). In addition, the LT offices received the following this week:
  
                    Announcing the Formation of Clan SMILE
                      (Sugar Mixed in Legend's Engine)
  
  Clan SMILE is dedicated to the proposition that there is more to clans 
  and role play on Legend than pkill.  Like the merry pranksters of yore,
  we aim to strew good-hearted confusion and discord where-ever we go, to
  mock the seriousness of the pkill-enabled clans and their pretensions of
  authority, and to prove that a group of players who can neither pkill
  nor steal can wreck more havok and have more fun than any old pkill
  clan.  Clan SMILE offers all the advice and support that the more
  established clans offer, and we invite currently clanned players to call
  pkill silly, renounce it, get unclanned, and join us.  We also invite
  players who have never been clanned before to apply.
  
        Clan SMILE lights a smokebomb in your clanhall.  Clan SMILE
  paints moustaches on your transfer mobs.  Clan SMILE says your mommas
  wear combat boots.  Clan SMILE lets you choose your own ridiculous title
  and insist that people address you by it, but it doesn't kill people who
  won't.  Clan SMILE redistributes the wealth of role play, equipment, and
  gold.  Clan SMILE laughs at silly rules, says all drinks are on the
  house, wonders what you need all those hitpoints and mana for if you're
  not about killing people.
  
        What do you need to do to join Clan SMILE?  If you're not a
  clanned character, agree not to clan.  If you're clanned, unclan.  Then,
  each new member has to throw a party for whoever wants to come,
  providing food and drink for whoever wants it--taverns are nice places,
  since that way you won't have to haul a lot of food and drink somewhere,
  but if you'd like to throw it on top of Kilamanjaro, that's fine too.
  Clan SMILE also asks that you provide one silly story, joke (clean),
  plan for wrecking havok, or satiric poem (especially on how dumb pkill
  is) as a prerequisite for membership.
  
  Then we ask that you go forth and prove us right.
  
  Finally, Clan SMILE claims as its clanhall any place where people
  congregate .. .fountain squares, taverns, marketplaces, roadsides, quiet
  vales, and we invite everyone over for a drink and whatever is in the
  'fridge ('scuse the mess).
  
  -- Sabella and Baca, founding members
  
  (the following is a ballad Baca wrote to make fun of a recent series of 
   pkills....)
   
                 Ballad of Isobel and Bay
   
       'Twas in the time before Merc ran the world.
       When the Coven and the Sec's an alliance made,
       And Isobel and Bay together banners furled
       To war 'gainst Kiera, to see old debts paid.
  
       "It's for the good of us all," quoth Bay,
       "She won't stop killing 'till she's dead.
       Permakill is an option for those who won't stay
       to conventions, who kill just to see blood run red."
  
       "Lets just kill her once," quoth Isobel
       and her Coven crew.  "leave her her equipment
       let her recover hp too; ring not the permadeath bell,
       and she'll see sense--we'll all live to rent."
   
       So the battle ensued one day
       And Kiera died, and Isobel, and Bay,
       And Isobel and Isobel and Isobel lots more,
       And Bay went mad and redoubled the war.
  
       Ooooooops!
       Next time we'll be bigger,
       Next time we'll be stronger,
       Next time we'll be quicker,
       Next time we'll last longer.
       And next time we'll rule the land,
       'cause we can only role play
       with our daggers in our hands.
  
       So the battle went on one day,
       And Bay died, and Kiera, and Bay and Bay
       and Bay and Bay and Bay and Bay and Bay some more
       And that should have ended the war.
  
       Buuuuuuut!
       Next time we'll be bigger,
       Next time we'll be stronger,
       Next time we'll be quicker,
       Next time we'll last longer.
       And next time we'll rule the land,
       'cause we can only role play
       with our daggers in our hands.

       Now who's this, walking out of the mist?
       Matthew Broderick, to add an apocalyptic twist.
       "Stop these war games!  Stop this fight today!
       Didn't you watch my movie?  The only way to win is not to play!"
  
       Bay looked at Isobel, and Isobel at Bay:
       "He's a wimp," said one.  "We'll make him pay."
       "You backstab and I'll do some stunning!"
       "And we'll both be back in the pkill running!"
  
       Weeeeelll!
       Next time we'll be bigger,
       Next time we'll be stronger,
       Next time we'll be quicker,
       Next time we'll last longer.
       And next time we'll rule the land,
       'cause we can only role play
       with our daggers in our hands,
       'cause we can only role play
       with our daggers in our hands.
  
              //\/\//\///\/\/////\///
 
               PAID ADVERTISEMENT
   
                  Now Available

               Potions & Poultices
        General Create Mage Spells & Calming
            Exploration & Light Fighting
           Will trade healing for exp./eq.

                Contact:  Spencer

             -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Still MORE ballads have been arriving at the LT offices (Dusty, the 
once-again-reappeared, may have some competition!). These latest are from 
Fllwdwr, an aspiring bard and folklorist who says that he got them from the 
mouths of Klein's street children (Strassenkinder?).


    Song of the Kleinstadt Peasants
    (sung to the tune of The Caisons Go Rolling Along)
   
    Over hill, over dale, Hey I think Klein's for sale.
    And the Overlord keeps rolling along.

    He's so mean, he's so hard, and he'll always overcharge,
    And the Overlord keeps rolling along.

    And it's Hi Hi Hee, he'll do anything for a fee
    Sell off his grandma for a song

    [Here the chorus of children adopt a pose like Joel Grey
    singing "Money Makes the World Go 'Round making the  
    appropriate hand motions]

    (gimme gimme gimme gimme)

    For you'll ne'er be bored in the realm of the Overlord.
    And the Overlord keeps rolling along.

    (Hey that's my quarter!)

    And the Overlord keeps rolling along.
    (Hey Meester, ya wanna buy my seester?)
    And the Overlord keeps rolling along.

    Auction]: Mercenary:  Can I get royalties from this?

             ***********************

    Knights of Legend
    (sung to the tune of men of Harlech)

    Knights of Legend stand ye steady,
    We've paid Merc and he is ready,
    To fight our battles while we go beddy-
    bye and hide our heads.

    Knights of Legend forget your honor,
    Just don't go and smudge your armor,
    We've got more important matters,
    Where'd that wench go now?

    Hear the battle crier - Pull the covers higher!
    We don't go cause we got dough,
    And Merc will fight while we stay warm and drier.

    Knights of Legend we'll stay safer,
    Merc'll guard us long as it's paid fer,
    Put another log on the fire,
    Boy, ain't this the life?

              *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Exciting things have been happening for the Starseed's lately. We 
recently received the following account from Prasetya:

Hello dear LT Editors,

Just a short while ago, Killer and I decided to elope in London at the
Jolly Beggar.  It was a fine event and provided lots of humor to those of
us who were present at the time.  However, I began to feel the need to have
a child in our lives.  Since the world is full of violence and cruelty, I
did not want to bear a child of my own, but instead, wanted to adopt a
child who was in need of loving parents.  I placed a request through the
WHO-Adoption agency and was soon sent a Tell-O-Gram by Joule who told me of
her parentless situation.  We talked to her for a bit and found her to be
quite a delightful child and decided to become her foster parents (Joule
was already a teenager so we felt that we were better off if we were foster
parents instead).  She will take our name, Starseed and will be under our
care and guidance.

I'm sorry if this became too wordy, I am just over-excited!

Thanks!
Prasetya Starseed
                       **********

We also received Joule's account of this joyous occasion:

Hello, everybody. My name is Joule.  I have been wandering around homeless
for 12 years.  I was born in Agrabah.  I don't remember my parents, but my
friend the juggler told me they went to the desert searching for treasure
and never came back.  I left Agrabah at an early age, because my friends who
worked on the Street of Illusions were afraid the Sultan would make me a
harem girl, locked in the palace forever.  It's been hard, these 12 years;
sometimes I haven't had anything better to eat than worms and shiny leaves.
Everywhere I went, I asked about my parents.  I fear they might be dead.  I
would cry at night, thinking of the only place I ever felt at home, knowing
I could never return until I knew who I was.  I miss the way the juggler
used to give me oranges when I would show my delight at his skill.  I miss
my heavily-bandaged friend, the swordswallower (I guess I distracted him
often, cause he missed alot).  But most of all, I miss Madame Decara.  She
told me to keep looking, to forever have faith, for someday I would find
parents.  

Once I wandered in Roman Britain and talked to some very wise Romans.  It
was the centurion, I think, that told me to go see the druids near Tara.  I
spent years in Roman Britain, teasing the fat citizens and eating the
sheep.  I finally got brave enough to try the dangerous journey to Ireland.
I saw many scary things on the way....formoi warriors, wild boars, wolves,
strange animals, evil squirrels, but I found my way to the Druids at last.
The Arch-Druid was very kind.  He told me he would speak to some people
about me.

And this takes me to why I am relating this story to you.  An agency put me
together with the nicest two people in the whole wide world - my new mom and
dad, Prasetya and Killer.  The first thing we did together was get me new
shoes.  They're the prettiest black boots I've ever seen.  Dad is very
protective and doesn't like the way the sailors in London talk to me.  Mom
is a great doctor and she can sew too.  They've taken me around the world;
Dad even killed a nasty slaver for me and freed the poor slaves.  

I'm 13 now, and for the first time in my entire life I have a family.  I
will try to make Mom and Dad proud of me.  I hope I grow up to be as great a
fighter as my Mom and Dad.  

Mom, Dad - Thank you  :)

Joule Starseed, foster-daughter of Prasetya and Killer

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 Legendary Times is put out by the gods of LegendMUD. Please send all
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inclusion in the next edition. We, however, reserve the right to moderate 
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