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............./      /            THE LEGENDARY TIMES
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......../      /...../  /_.../  /....../  /_.../  /..\   >./  /./  /
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...../                / /./       /./     /./  /.../  /./       /
..../                /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD
.../________________/       running on 9999
VOLUME THREE, ISSUE TEN                                   September 2, 1996
                            WELCOME BACK!!!
                             From the Imps
                           Player Relations
                   Suggestions for Staying in Character
                A "Real-life" Wedding: Hunter_Rose & Katya
            Overseas Correspondent: A Letter from Triangleman
                         Coupons and Mud Economy
                            SOCIAL EVENTS
             Player Descriptions, Rumors, and Announcements
                             Excuses for Gail
                     Crash Leaves the Anti-Paladins
              Keyzer's Snapped?!? (Or Where's Alexandria?)
        The Grendels Claim the Wells (or The Case of the Free Soda)

Please send your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address at Letters to the editor are welcomed.
Hello! I'm giving Clutch a hand with the LTs while he is working on getting
a little better net connected. Leila is also going to be helping out. We are
moving to an every two weeks LT schedule. So, starting with this issue, the
LT will be published every other week on Monday, and the deadline for
submissions will be the Friday before. This means you should expect the next
LT Mon, Sept 16th and we will print anything received prior to or on Fri,
Sept 13th (if it's printable of course.) Feel free to send mudmail or email
to me, if for some reason your server doesn't like the email address above.
I'm at:, and I respond on the mud to
                            WELCOME BACK!
This is our welcome back to school issue. Just for you returning players, we
are offering the following specials. Just clip and redeem.
  |   HALF-PRICE SALE   |        TWO MOBS         |      FREE RENT        |
  |    50% off of all   |  FOR THE PRICE OF ONE   |  Present this coupon  |
  | your experience for | Valid only at the Pict  |   to any innkeeper    |
  |  any level 51+ mob  |Campfire-Give to Old Lady|  & receive free rent  |
       Subject to change without notice. Not valid with any other offer.
But seriously, folks, glad to have you back! You might find the look of
Legend has changed while you were away. The new immort structure is in and
running well, and there are many new immorts. The wholist looks a little
different now, and be sure to check out "whois." Clan updates included some
new clans, as well as updates to the halls. The boards have acquired a new
look. Also, look around in OOC where you will find immort offices, the new
OOC kitchen, presided over by the Swedish Chef (watch out for flying
coconuts), and a recipe board. You should also find a few more things going
on: trivia is running regularly (check out the trivia board for details),
and the lecture series is going strong (check the welcome and PR boards
regularly for this). Much more is in the works. We've also added many new
players. Make sure you welcome them to Legend.
                       DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES

Many apologies for the extended downtime Aug 26-28th. A hacker compromised
the security of the system and we had to fumigate thoroughly. We do not
believe any of the mud files were affected.  We do suggest that you change
your password on your characters at the earliest opportunity. We're now
running under a new and different Linux (redhat, for the curious) and
hopefully the stability will be improved. Please note that the we have not
as yet restored FTP and web services, and therefore access to files and the
entire web site is still down, including use of the web client. We expect to
restore these services over the course of the next several days. We're at
the same port as always: 9999 So come on home, the vampire
is waiting. :)
-Ptah & Kaige

    Gail was recently promoted to Full Coder. Congratulations on this
    well-deserved move up!
    Gail is still working hard on skilltrees code, but wants you to know
    there is no release date as of yet. The player filter has not been
    finalized, although we're working on it and we will be sure to tell
    everyone everything they need to know well in advance. (There has been
    ongoing comment and debate on skilltrees and the filter on the welcome
    board. Read through the skilltrees FAQ there and take a look at the

    Two new commands have been added. OPTIONS: Simply type OPTIONS and this
    will list all the options that your character has set. (Newmail NO means
    that you do not have new mail waiting, not that the option is turned
    off.) WHOCONFERENCE: Type WHOCONFERENCE  to see who all
    is listening to a conference. Typing HELP  will also give you
    the information and syntax of these commands.

    If you lose link, you can now automatically reconnect to your character,
    the "Guest" option on the menu really works now (you may see Guests of
    many colors visiting us) and when you connect you will now be notified
    if you have new mudmail.

    Coding is still looking for another immortal. To propose in this area,
    you must know "C" and prior network programming experience is a plus. If
    you are interested and believe you are qualified, mudmail your
    application to Ganelon. (If you expressed interest previously, and were
    told coding wasn't taking applications, send in another now :). More
    information on this position can be found on the Coder Board.

    The Building Department recently acquired four new immorts. Be sure to
    congratulate them the next time you see them! Here's a little bit of
    information on them and what they are going to be up to. 
Greyscot is a new immort but an old player, having started here over two
years ago. His first project is the building of an area based on the Pony
Express mail route, which ran through the American Old West. It will contain
over 150 rooms and several quests, and should be completed by November if
all goes well.

Kheldar, the Emerald Warrior and Patron of Thieves and Vampires, has been on
Legend for over a year. He is working primarily in Building, currently
updating Arabia, and plans to add Romania (Transylvania) in the mid-1400s
under the rule of Vlad the Impaler. He is also assisting other Builders with
their areas, and other Departments whenever necessary and possible. He says
he is always available to help players in any way he can, just ask.

Northstar and Arturos immorted to work jointly on an area, Industrial New
Orleans. Unfortunately, as you may have noted from the Welcome Board,
Northstar is in the process of moving. Hopefully she'll be back soon and
they can provide more detailed information on what they are doing :).

    Salem is currently in, but not connected to the mud. Cheers to Sandra!
    The area is being tested to make sure the "Frisco bug" doesn't wander
    and should be connected soon. Look for more about the area next issue.

    - Many changes have occurred in areas including: OOC, Ireland, India,
    Beowulf, Arabia, and many other areas. Look for new features, some old
    old bugs to be fixed, and some new items. Mobs and items may not be
    quite what you remember them to be.
    - A number of whois flags have been added for various quests and these
    will now appear when you type whois . Try it out on your
    friends, see what they've accomplished on LegendMUD!
    - If you have completed the Asura Quest, and still have the title
    'Krisna' and you wish to get rid of it, please let Rufus know. He will
    be repairing this quest shortly, as he has recently located the problem.
    - Mobs that are stunned, dancing, sleeping, or otherwise incapacitated
    will no longer hunt or walk around.
    Building has put a hold on further proposals right now in order to give
    the new immorts some time to integrate. Keep working on proposals and
    talking to Rufus about ideas. We'll let you know when they start taking
    applications again.

    A prize is going to the person who can come up with a joke which will
    eventually be used in her area. The guidelines are:
        - Must fit into an early 20th century/late 19th area.
        - Must not contain chickens.
        - Must not use offensive language.
        - Must not necessarily be funny.
    The joke doesn't have to be from the late 19th but needs to be adaptable 
    to that time.
    -Leila Pax.

                              PLAYER RELATIONS                      

    Leila, who immorted in Building and is still hard at work on her area
    (see last issue for details), recently received a PR tag as well. She's
    currently helping out with the LT, and if you want to talk to someone
    about LT suggestions, opinions, constructive criticism, submissions or
    anything else, feel free to talk to her or mudmail her.
    Sandra is currently in the process of upgrading ALL the web pages. Take
    look at what she's up to when they come online and be sure to thank her
    for all the hard work she has put into them. Expect to see more info on
    the new pages in the next few issues.
    Trivia games are being announced on the board outside the PR Dept. in the
    OOC. Parrilyn has also asked for feedback and suggestions in that space.
    Make sure you stop by and take a look so you know when the next game is
    scheduled, tell her what a great job she does of it, and let her know what
    other kinds of things you'd like to see.
    We've had some wonderful speakers. Thanks to all of them and all who
    have attended! Still more good lectures upcoming including:
        Sep 3 at 7pm Central: "How to Cook a Burkito" [RP Interview] - Tad
        Sep 9 at 7pm Central: A lecture from Ultima's Head Programmer
        Sept 17 at 7 pm Central: "Greek and Modern Olympics" - Greyscot
        Sep 24 at 8 pm Central: "Comments on Mud Research" by Alan Schwartz
        Oct 1 at 7 pm Central: "Not-Quite-Gourmet Cooking" - Gail [Reschedule]
        Oct 8 at 7 pm Central: "Medicine in Ancient Times" - Croaker
    Still others that are being considered, but not yet scheduled include, a
    lecture by Richard Bartle, long-time mud administrator and researcher; a
    lecture on Celtic myth from an Irish Mythologist; a lecture on Icelandic
    myth including such rare tales as "Nidud the Cruel" and "the Death of
    the Nornagest"; and a lecture on alchemy. Keep watching the welcome board
    and the PR board for more information. There may be guests on the mud who
    are considering speaking from time to time, so please be polite to them :).

    Along with Building, PR has put a temporary freeze on proposals (to give
    all the new immorts time to integrate). The PR proposal process has also
    been revised. Proposals now involve both a formal written proposal, and a
    formal interview. If you are interested in the guidelines for a PR
    proposal, mudmail or email Rusalka (email 

    Other PR immorts are developing new types of games and contests,
    tinyplots and rp events (look for a "murder mystery" in the future),
    more updates to the OOC (along with building) including a library, and
    regularly scheduled player question and answer sessions.
    Sandra, who is also hard at work in Building and PR, has recently
    received as Asst Admin flag as well. She will now be available to help
    with Administrative issues and everyone make sure to thank her for all
    the hard work she is doing keeping the mud running in many areas!

    Too many people have been caught cheating lately and I want this to stop
    immediately. No rationalization for cheating is going to be adequate and
    anyone caught will be dealt with harshly.

"Everyone does it" does not constitute adequate excuse to cheat. Neither
does ignorance of the rules. If you are going to join a game and don't know
the rules, *read* them, or ask. If you aren't sure what we allow, read the
help files, "help cheat" and "help channels" are good starts. If you are
unsure, or have a question, ask. Any immort will do their best to explain
the rules to you. Recall tag is one place where we're having problems. The
standard rules are on a sign in the recall tag arena and printed below.
Listen to shouts, and infos given by immorts. If you want to play a game,
turn on chat, for the period before the game begins. The immorts are doing
their best to give important information to you, and you should do your best
to hear it. Multiplaying, and passing of equipment is illegal on Legend, as
is misuse of channels. If an immort tells you to stop what you are doing,
*stop*. Please don't argue endlessly over technicalities. Using a mob or
playeras an intermediate to transfer equipment is also verboten. This does
not mean you can't explain, but please be reasonable.

The rules are thus (unless otherwise stated by the immort running the game)...
- The angel will drop a wand for you, GET WAND and HOLD WAND. You will be given
  time to hide and the angel will yell when the game starts.
- Type "USE WAND (person)" to recall anybody you see before they recall you.
- Once recalled the angel will let you know what to do.
- While in the arena you may *NOT* use ANY SKILLS, SPELLS, ACTIONS, TRIGGERS,
  ALIASES, FIGHTING, or DESCRIPTIONS to help you, as any of these will
  disqualify you.
**You may use the ! key however, and remember that you CAN abbreviate names**
- The winner is the last person not to be recalled.

Punitive actions for any type of cheating can include any and all of the
following: removal of equipment, alteration of stats, denied access to mud
commands, denied access for a character, deletion of character, demotion of
level status, banning of a site if repeated violations occur with multiple
characters. We don't like to have to use any of these options, but remember
we can.

    We also can, and will if the situation warrants, write to whoever is in
    charge of someone's net access and ask them to remove it. 
Along those lines, on August 21st, someone(s) logged onto Legend as multiple
characters with obscene handles, spouting obscenities and verbal abuse on
chat, persisting despite many efforts on part of the immort staff to stop
the person(s), and was extraordinarily rude and foulmouthed. We would like
once again to apologize to all players who were online during this incident
(known as the "Joe6 incident, for the person(s) persistence in using that
name), and to any legitimate players who were effected by the steps taken to
rectify it, as well as to thank Satsu (Administrator) and Gail (Coder) for
their unlimited energy and initiative in dealing with a difficult situation
so well. The person(s) were site-banned, and the administrators of the sites
in question received letters from us requesting that the situation be
investigated and the steps taken to ensure it never happens again. Several
new features in site-ban options are being considered to allow us to deal
with these situations even more effectively.

                                                   by Kai Androsia
In recent weeks, there has been a grave disturbance in the force which
guides our peaceful world. It is a tremor which has shaken the very
foundation which joins our soul to the spirit of the world.

Well, allllllrighty then.
What I have to say probably isn't THAT important, but it is something which
seems to have gripped Legend by the, um, hair and is refusing to let go.
What I speak of is the problem of revealing the identities of the other
characters that you play. Chances are that inevitably, others will find out
who the other you(s) are. But, you don't have to make it as easy as it has
been recently. So here are some options that might help to allow you to stay
"in character," which, as we all know, is the area outside of the OOC.

1) Don't ask another character to help you and use the name of your other
characters as collateral against you being a worthwhile investment of our
    Example: "Hi, can you help me get exp (Thor's hammer, etc)? My other
    character is ________."
    Reason: Chances are I won't like your other character and sure as heck
    ain't gonna help this one.

2) Someone asks you who your other characters are because either they think
you shouldn't be able to do what you're doing at the level you're on or
maybe their just plain curious.
    Options: Don't respond to the question. Usually, the person will figure
    out that they're being ignored and will relinquish their inquiry.
    However, if they persist, respond with "I'm sorry, I'm only me. That's
    all I've ever been. I'm sorry that your schizophrenia is affecting you
    so. Hope you feel better soon."

3) You are in a discussion about something that your other character did or
was involved in and, of course, you want to get involved in the
    Option: Go log in as your other character, but, if it's obvious people
    would figure out who you were, try saying that you know someone who was
    in that situation. Don't say that, "When I was playing _________."
    That's just plain cheesy.

This game is made by it's characters (and boy, do we have some). However, it
takes one character at a time to build the shrine that is LegendMUD. So, if
you can at all avoid it (and I know you can), keep the true identity of your
characters to yourself.

This ad paid for by the Psychiatric Physicians Psociety of America.


As many of you know (it *was* on the LT trivia questionnaire ;), Hunter_Rose
and Katya were the first (but certainly not the last) Legend couple to marry
on the mud. Their wedding was held September 13th, 1994 in the ancient
temple in the northern moors of Eire. (Check out old LTs for complete
details on this event.) We are pleased (and somewhat proud) to announce that
Hunter and Katya are being officially wed (real-life) this weekend (Sunday,
September 1st, 1996). We managed to convince them to squeeze a few minutes
into their planning schedule to tell us about it, to compare with their mud
ceremony, and to provide some advice to other couples who meet on the

The ceremony is being held at an old colonial church on a plantation that
has been renovated into a wedding chapel. The inside of the church is very
plain with wood floors and plain white wood benches, so they are keeping the
decorations simple, using mainly ivy strands on pillars and wall sconces.
Katya has a male friend standing as her man of honor, and Hunter's
ex-roomate's fiance is standing in the best woman's space to balance. The
bridesmaids will wear hunter green setting off Katya's short-sleeved
off-white satin sheath. Katya is carrying a cascading bouquet. Hunter and
Katya are a pretty "high-tech" couple, and continuing along this line,
Hunter is writing many of the musical pieces for the ceremony to his
computer so they can be played back automatically. They are planning to
exchange rings, and light a unity candle. A reception will be held in the
basement of the church following the ceremony. The couple are planning to
retire immediately to their life together, but hope to take a trip to Europe
sometime in the spring of next year.

They're expecting about 60 people, which is about a third larger than their
mud wedding. Parrilyn, Gig, Fionn, and Mana, who attended the mud wedding,
are planning to attend the real-life ceremony as well. These are friends who
have known them throughout their relationship and they only wish more could
come. Katya informed us that planning a real-life wedding is much more
complicated and more stressful than planning a mud wedding. There are many
details, such as food, that were not a concern on the mud. True to the
couple's high-tech tendencies, she keeps a wedding checklist on her web

The mud ceremony was almost two years ago. Hunter says they didn't plan it
that way, but it is a nice memory to have the mud anniversary so near to
their actual wedding date. When asked if he had any advice for other mud
couples, Hunter said, "It does take a special commitment to the relationship
in order for it to work. Enduring long months of nothing more than a mental
glimpse of the person you love can be very straining. But the patience is
worth the few moments you _can_ spend with that significant other." Katya,
when asked the same question, responded, "I think that for any relationship
outside of the mud to work, that honesty is important and that both people
should be judging on the same standards and ideas. The nice thing about
meeting here was that there was no distracting physical barrier to worry
about in the beginning, and by the time we had established a good
friendship, it didn't matter." The couple communicated on the mud and via
email for three months before actually meeting face-to-face. Katya concluded
that they both had a feeling that this relationship was a very serious one
even before they met in person. "We both just clicked from the very
beginning." They certainly seem right for one another to us and we wish them
all the best!

                         OVERSEAS CORRESPONDENT
                       A Letter From Triangleman
Hello Legend from somewhere in the Mediterranean. It seems like forever
since I last visited. Well, let me give you all a short update on the
goings on of a shipboard Mudder.

Since I left the lovely North Carolina coast at the end of June, onboard
the USS Saipan, I've been going thru MUD withdrawal. Luckily my 12-14
hour workdays have left little time for me to mourn the absence of
online time. During my 12 day sail across the great Atlantic, I spotted
only one speck of land, that being the Azores Islands. Unfortunately
that's all we did, look. We never got close enough to make out any
features of the land, just a lump on the horizon.

Just before getting to Spain, I found myself flying to another ship, the
USS Austin, where I'll be for the next month and a half. We spent one
day at the Navy base in Rota, Spain before going thru the straights of
Gibralter and into the Med.

At this moment we are dodging the Greek Isles on our way to the Black
sea and our first REAL port visit in Romania.

For all those non-military types on the MUD, let me explain what I do,
I'm a Navy hospital Corpsman assigned to the Marine corps. I'm attached
to Marine Medium Helocopter Squadron 266, 24th Marine Expiditionary

If any of you would like to know more, or just write me a note (which
will get answered, I promise), bug Sandra and she'll give you the

So long for now & Peace!

                        COUPONS, AND MUD ECONOMY

Daer began a long and interesting discussion on the welcome board, by
suggesting that the most prized possessions on Legend, string coupons, were
a little too rare when they cannot be purchased for any sum of gold. Money,
Daer claimed, has truly lost it's value on Legend when the things most
strived for cannot be bought, or there are not enough coupons in
circulation. The discussion diverged into two separate threads: primarily
coupons and suggestions on ways to acquire them, and secondarily the
problems with the mud economy and how to fix it. While the entire discussion
is too long to quote here, a digested version of some of the major points

Economy: Ptah's first response to Daer's post dealt with the lack of a
decent mud economy, claiming that coupons are the currency of choice because
gold is not valued, and asked for discussion on best to create such an
economy. Suggestions for aiding or creating an economy included:
reinstitution of the auction system, player housing, shopkeepers that
repair, "delivery" and hint-giving mobs, additional storage space over rent
limit, more recall potions, mobs with thief/assassin skills, and medical
service mobs. Ptah objected to many of these on the grounds they would make
the mud easier for players at the expense of money.

Elidan reopened the economy discussion noting many of the things suggested
catered to high levelers who have cash and didn't promote player
interaction, suggested that games be more widely advertised and organized,
and added suggestions for providing character variety through roleplay.
Munhuwepayi disagreed with Ptah that many of the economy suggestions would
make the mud easier for players, adding that although the ambulance and
delivery ideas are "Monty Haulish", many of the others could work. Ptah
agreed and commented that he had no objection to adding more of these type
of goods, suggested that players do not charge for these services as they
do not need money, and are generous, and that such services become easily
available to players who know the mud well. Ptah stated that attempting a
functioning economy would require eliminating places where nearly free
benefits are found, supplying a functioning service model, and insuring
there is a cost of living for pcs which would require scarcity, the
cornerstone of an economy, by tracking raw materials and allowing repop
based on what is extant in the game.

More suggestions included making gold on the mud decay, adding more jobs for
players, and making the mobs sell more worthy equipment. Ptah noticed that
jobs would require a method of payment, variable demand, limited quantity of
resources, and the problems of making quest rewards less useful than
shopkeepers inventory. He further mentioned that there is not only an
over-abundance of resources, but also a lack of need for gold and mentioned
that raising the chances of equipment scrapping would aid in this. Ptah
concluded that this would require a great deal of work on the part of the
immorts and would change the mud drastically and asked if players would like
this sort of change. He also mentioned that it would require wiping all bank
accounts and held gold.

Coupons: Madcat brought the subject back to coupons with several suggestions
on new ways to make coupons available including a mob that sells coupons,
giving one every 10 levels, and quest means (taking a meteorite to a mob
with a 5% chance of a coupon as a reward). Madcat also commented on the
problems of the current system which keeps coupons in the hands of players
that have friends, and away from newbies, and the ability of coupons to
promote fun and learning.

Daer spoke about the ability of coupons to add variety to the mud, and how
difficult they are to acquire via games (not often run at convenient times).
Ptah noted that at least part of the problem seems to be the hoarding of
coupons, the need to keep coupons special in order to provide an adequate
reward, and the lack of immort staff to deal with the addition of many
coupons to the mud. Daer noted that saving a coupon until one is sure what
to use it on (as they are scarce items) is not hoarding and asked for policy
on changing the string on an already strung item or transferring a string to
a new item.

Lirra added some suggestions for characterization through role-play. Other
players commented further on their difficulty in acquiring coupons
throughout long player careers, and reasons for holding coupons (frequent
equipment swapping, etc). Killer suggested adding timers to coupons,
offering coupons as quest rewards or in trade for practices, for dying, or
making strung weapons as players with the make staff/forge skills, and
giving out coupons on special occasions flagged no-give/no-drop. Madcat
added a suggestion for giving a coupon to reward players who hit level 50,
and Daer as a reward for a non-clanned who reaches the 100M mark.

Ptah observed that in-game methods (the meteorite trade-ins) are repeatable
and would supply an infinite number of coupons, noted that we offer a whois
title to non-clanned characters who hit the 100M mark, and that giving
coupons for reaching level 50 would reward hack-and-slash (leveling ability)
rather than success in other areas. Ptah proposed that we give coupons for
reporting verifiable bugs and asked if more bugs would be reported. Elidan
commented that she likes the system as-is, wherein coupons are special
awards for winning immort-run games. Gage mentioned that he also likes the
system as it is.

Kaige asked that all the discussion of mud economy, coupons, skilltrees and
filters be moved to the Web Discussion Board, commenting that the Welcome
Board is intended for general announcements that concern all players. She
will be copying all the posts from these discussions and will add them to
the web site as soon as it is up. The LT also welcomes comments and articles
on all of these issues.

            /                        \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMud?|
   (o o)    \________________________/


- Announcement:
    A new section to the LT is being formed whereby players of all types,
    levels, walks of life get to talk about their experiences, views, and
    recollections. There are guidelines and tips for whoever would like to
    contribute and become immortalised on the pages of our illustrious
    paper. Speak to Leila (or mudmail her) with any questions or if you
    would like to partake.

- Description Change:
    Harlys's mother Lyssa has wiped the chocolate smudge from his face.
    Harlys can now be seen on Legend as: "A hyperactive kid is fidgeting

- Lancorn recently hit the 100 million experience mark and retired from pkill.
- Lori was permakilled by Sharpe. I know we'll all miss her .
- Jag retired.
- The Mercenaries and the Coven have been seen frequently fighting the
   Anti-paladins. What is the cause of this discord? Are the Mercs now
   allied with the Coven?

- Lost Parents?
    Ryssa has been seen recently, looking rather lost and asking if anyone
    has knows where her mommy is. She is apparently unable to respond to any
    sort of other conversation until this crucial question is answered. It
    seems more than one parental unit is missing-in-action from the mud at
    the moment. Harlys is also making inquiries as to the whereabouts of his

- Krusty and Ryssa celebrated their birthdays this past August 16th.

- Advertisement:
    A pirate crew has recently been noticed wandering rather distractedly
    around Lima, and heading for England. The motley group claims they will
    provide services for an "appropriate" fee including a guide service for
    those lost upon the waters of Legend. They are also willing to take on
    unexperienced 'landlubbers' as crew (can't help but wonder what you're
    getting into when it specifies inexperienced... )
                                \|/ \|/ \|/

                              EXCUSES FOR GAIL
Gail recently provided multiple choice excuses for rescheduling her lecture,
"Not-Quite-Gourmet Cooking" (see notice under PR for the new date and time).
Players kindly added many more. If you have others, mudmail or email them to
Sabella and we'll print them next time. Never know when you're going to need
a good excuse.

    The original three:
        a) She forgot her password
        b) She was eating her own cooking and got distracted
        c) Her site was down    
    Player additions:
        d) She forgot her name, but remembered her password (Krynn)
        e) Her dog ate her computer (Sandra)
        f) All of the above OR she choked on a tomato and grilled cheese
           sandwich (Mirage)
        g) She got food poisoning from her own cooking (McDougan)
           (NOTE: Gail denied that she got food poisoning.)
    Eaglefeather noted that the lecture would be rescheduled to the first
    Tuesday in October, or some other time that he can't attend, and Gail
        h) Eaglefeather was able to make it this time (Gail)        
        i) She saw McDougan was here and didn't want to avoid depriving him
        j) She didn't know how to make a burkito (Mirage)
        k) She was kidnapped by aliens and used up all her ingredients
           cooking for them (McDougan)
        l) Her little brother threw up on the ingredients (McDougan) 
           (Gail commented her little brother is a far better cook than 
           she is)
        m) The "I got suckered into OOC lecturing" T-shirts were
           back-ordered (Mirage)
        n) She put the ingrediants on top of her car, then pulled away
        o) The "I survived Gail's OOC lecture" t-shirts came a week early
           and were misprinted in hot pink. (Mirage)
        p) Gail is here now, yet the lecture is pushed back to October...
           The Immortal Conspiracy Strikes Again! (McDougan)
        q) Yeah, We took the mud down for 2 days just to postpone my lecture
                            \|/ \|/ \|/
Crash recently announced that he is no longer an Anti-Paladin, yet still
serves the Dark Lord. Lagmonster commented that this means he won't be the
clan's responsibility, nor will they back him up as a given. Crash further
stated that as he is no longer GM of the clan, he will not be held
responsible for any of their actions, nor should they be held responsible
for his. He asks that none of us forget that he still serves the Dark Lord.
Crash's rather sudden departure left the clan leaderless. They are still
considering how best to rectify this situation.

                                \|/ \|/ \|/

                             KEYZER'S SNAPPED?!?
                          (Or Where's Alexandria?)
A little bird, perched on a stool in the Wild Boar Tavern, recently overhead
the following conversation:

[Chat] Keyzer: I just have something to say....
[Chat] Kai: *listens intently*
[Chat] Keyzer: I think people should stay away from me, at least for right now
[Chat] Somar: ditto here keyzer
[Chat] Keyzer: I haven't been able to find Alexandria for weeks now...
[Chat] Vasquez: Bad day, folks?
[Chat] Kai: that morphing into a fly thing troubling you, keyz?
[Chat] McDougan: bad recalltag.
[Chat] Keyzer: I'm gonna kill everybody I see
[Chat] Keyzer: YOU TOOK HER DIDN'T YOU KAI!!!!!
[Chat] McDougan: Morphing into a FLY???? Explain that, please.
[Chat] Kai: *peer* Um, no.
[Chat] Keyzer: *ahem* see what I mean...
[Chat] Vasquez: Oh, good.  Keyzer's snapped.
[Chat] Kai: *comfort Keyzer* I'm sure she'll be back soon....*looks around for
the Prozac*
[Chat] Keyzer: I got so enraged that I killed will'o green and his foresters
[Chat] Vasquez: Can't blame him.  But he has snapped like a dry twig.
[Chat] Kai: that's, well, pretty darn enraged.
[Chat] Somar: I saw.. it was kewl
[Chat] Somar: by the time he finished one group of em, the other reppopped
[Info] Thoregan killed by a rascal.
[Info] Somar: ook
[Info] Keyzer: DAMN THOSE RASCALS!!!!
[Info] Aermid: Ouch!
[Info] Keyzer: WHERE IS HE? HE'S GONNA DIE!!!!!

                                \|/ \|/ \|/
                        THE GRENDELS CLAIM THE WELLS
                       (or The Case of the Free Soda)
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Immortals of LegendMUD do not approve the practice of
threatening non-clanned characters by reporting this event. Inappropriate
actions against unclanned characters by clanned characters, or unclanned by
unclanned, will be dealt with in an appropriate fashion in the Administrative

Satan, apparently following in the footsteps of the Secretives' claim to
Africa and Mercenary's claim to Klein, recently posted this announcement:

Let it be known that Clan Grendel is claiming all the wells in Tara. If you
want to use them you ASK a any Grendel on... if you don't know who we are
you ask...  You will then pay a fee set by the certain Grendel you ask. If
he/she is in a good mood you may be lucky and have to pay 1k... If anyone is
found at a well without permission we will attack... regardless of the
amount of Hp's you may have...  Even the unclanned are in danger of this so
beware the wrath of Clan Grendel...  If anyone has any questions about this
send some mud mail to somebody that cares... cause it is not me...
- Satan Prince of Darkness [GM] [GRENDEL]
P.S. We will be watching you...  *cackle*

Not surprisingly, this caused some consternation among the other inhabitants
of Legend. Frodo responded to this message in the spirit in which it seems
to have been intended, "Yu's canna do that! I hit yu wifs me hed if yus try
an stop me! Ifs I fiwsty, I's dwinkin!" At this point, he stomped his small
feet in an outpouring of rage. Kaedon responded with somewhat more
restraint, "Let it be known that the Grendels can bite me =P. I'm not
clanned, and threatening me with harm probably isn't too smart you dolt.
Grow up, and more importantly, grow a brain." This calm reply was signed
"Kaedon, the pain in your posterior."

Kaedon continued her campaign later on that evening. Our correspondent
overheard this conversation:

    Kaedon, sitting next to what appeared to be a soda machine, asked loudly
"Where's those silly Grendel people? I think Satan has gone crazy. Hey,
Satan! Are you really stupid enough to threaten non clanned people using
*your* wells?"
    Keyzer, a Grendel, responded to this challenge rather tentatively, "Hmm,
I just read Satan's announcement, guess the wells in Tara are mine?
    Hey Krynn! Wanna use the well in Tara?" he said, appearing to cheer up.
    Kaedon interjected, "I don't see a well.. I see a Dr Pepper machine.
    "Actually, there are no more wells of healing in Tara, so don't even
bother coming," Keyzer responded.
    "Just soda machines," she agreed. "Oo look! Pepsi!"
    Frodo enthusiastically noted, "I cans see them!"
    Keyzer, tongue hanging out, announced, "I'm selling soda, 1k a pop. Hey
I have an idea, I should go attack someone, and then make them pay for
my miracle soda."
    "No no, Keyzer.. Satan's note says wells.. there's no wells here. Oh
look, a Coke machine," Kaedon objected quietly. She added, in a low
tone, "Wow, illusions really take the mana outta ya."
    "Kaedon? Is McDougan out of the ocean yet?" Mirage asked.
    "I dunno," she replied. "I'm sitting here by this Coca-cola machine."
    McDougan informed the high-spirited group, "I'm in the exact middle of
the atlantic, and lost."
    "Anyone seen Ishtar?" inquired Mirage. "She promised to help me get into
trouble again."
    "Wow," Kaedon noted, "You sound like my sister.. she always gets in
trouble, or gets me in trouble."
    "Who is your sister again?"
    "Simara!" Kaedon responded rather testily, as if she had answered the
question many times before.
    "Sounds like she has the right attitude. I think you take after her a
bit maybe."
    "I don't take after her..."
    "Oh.... But them wells," Mirage protested with a wink.
    "What wells?" Kaedon asked innocently.
    "The wellspring of love...," McDougan responded, "How sweet... She's
going to be very happy with you."
    Kaedon called out, "Anyone want a pepsi?"
    "Anything in a date flavored cola?" asked Mirage.
    "Oh look! Nightshade," exclaimed Kaedon delightedly.
    Well, i gotta go now, so you guys can all use the well for free
again," Keyzer explained.
    "What wells?"
    "Okay, buy sodas from Kaedon then," he said, giving in resignedly.
    "Well? free??" Nosferatu seemed a little confused.
    "Free sodas!" Kaedon announced.

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