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  ..../                /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD
  .../________________/       running on 9999
VOLUME THREE, ISSUE SEVENTEEN                                December 3, 1996
                        DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES

                         The LT Roving Reporter
                               SOCIAL EVENTS
                       The Legendary Times Personals
                fRoDo mAClaREn's Common to Frodospeak dictionary!
                        The Mystery Of The Mummer's Murder
        Opening Night, The Legendmud Players Perform 'Romeo And Juliet'
                               Cupid's Dice
Please send your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address at Letters to the editor and submissions are welcomed.
                       DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES
- Skilltrees Update:
    Current revisions include changes to the fight system, and finishing the
    currency stuff.
- New Spell: 
    The animate dead spell is now functional. It has been tested but keep your
    eyes out for any wayward bugs.

- Addition: 
    Wizinvis immortals who are visible to your level or lower will now show
    with their name in parentheses when using channels and conferences. The
    bug with hearing a channel message twice when you cannot see the person
    using the channel should also be fixed.

- Fixes: 
    Small fix to whois. It now no longer works on NPCs.

    The automatic placement of "the warg" title on wargs has been removed in
    favor of the prefix title. So wargs can have their own title again.

- Newbie Helpers!                                      
    After some disagreement over a punishment, Fatale and Vial were sentenced
    community service. Specifically, they are now in charge of the Newbie
    Helpers group. This group will meet new players and aid them in learning
    how to mud, Legend etiquette etc. Their goal is to make newbies feel
    welcome to the mud, give them hints on how the game works, and generally
    give the mud a nicer atmosphere. If you are interested in joining the
    group, please mudmail Fatale and include your email address. They will be
    attempting to keep track of everyone and update through a mailing list.
    They would like any suggestions you have on what information to provide to

                           The LT Roving Reporter
                             by Leila, LT Staff

This week's Roving Reporter deals with the question of a RP channel. Giving a
forum to those who use channels as a major form of RP, or taking the spam and
clan threats out of chat?

- From Chloride:
I don't really think that the channel will really be used as it should be. I
like chat as it is now, with OOC and RP together.

- From Ulric:
It would be good to use a RP channel to throw up ideas about your character's
RP and maybe get others to join in on a mini plot. It could be used for
planning RP as well as actual RP chat. I'd keep it on if there was a RP
channel. I think it'd be good, overall and would most likely promote RP... if
the channel is constant. We could use a fourth channel, especially if the
auction channel becomes something dependent on a skill. It would be good if
the immorts would help, so it wasn't just another chat channel. Like assisting
the players, maybe throw up ideas, give others news about what's going on with
other's RP so its not some closed thing. The channel could be used by the
clans for challenges and such so it wouldn't spam the chat channel. Then the
chat channel could be kept more OOC than it is.

- From Valis:
The conference isn't a good idea for RP, but a RP channel that could be
toggled would be better. I'd use a RP channel but I think it would have to be
encouraged and different from the conference channel.

- From Major_Payne:
There is no point for a RP channel, RP over chat is fine, OOC is for when you
want RP off, not channels. I think it would become like most other channels, a
conversation buster.

- From Landy:
I believe it's a great idea to set up a permanent RP channel. I think RP is
great, and belongs for all to see, but once it begins to become incredibly
spammy, it begins to get annoying. For instance, when the [names deleted to
protect the innocent] fight on chat, it isn't one on one, its five people
against five people, a lot of spam. RP channel is a good place to separate
those not interested and those that can't afford the spam lag during fights. I
like to talk about my snowboard, the weather and how bad my dinner is on chat,
I don't wanna hear about snipers and RP. Chat is chat, it is pretty self
explanatory. Chat doesn't mean RP it means CHAT, for players to mingle and
socialize. But since there is no RP channel those involved must use chat as a
global comm. channel.
            /                        \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMud?|
   (o o)    \________________________/

                       THE LEGENDARY TIMES PERSONALS                        	
                             Leila, LT Staff                                  

House O'Flaherty is a family of Irish mages and druids who enjoy exploration,
questing, and comraderie. We wish to welcome the return of our dear sister,
Ashley, from her many travels. We would also like to announce the selection of
our brother Shaun as House Pharmacist.
	- Claire O'Flaherty, Housemistress - House O'Flaherty

>From Poledra:
I would appreciate some good karma thoughts over the next day or two...
waiting to hear on some hopefully good news.

WANTED: Sidekick. 
To share excitement and adventure. Learn the practical applications of
drinking and wenching. No experience necessary, but applicants may be tested
on knowledge of 'Gail' oaths and epithets. Must like ale.  Must like wenches.
Must like bleeding, and not mind dying for glory's sake. No wine drinkers,
frequent bathers, or cross-dressers need apply. No bandages allowed.
    - Mudmail 'Conan' for interview...
SWM 6'5'' 140 lbs, 287 years young, seeks compatible mate for eternal life.
Must be energetic, have good iron levels, and be good at Jeopardy. Large
dowery preffered but small estates will be considered. Must also be willing to
sleep on bed of dirt, and have good posture.
	- Blah

A strange and crumpled note was handed into the LT offices yesterday:
There be a murder afoot, and if ye ken anythin' about th' death of Swift,
please contact ye local forces...
	- Translated from a scrawl by McDougan

I'd like to give a big HUG to all my sisters out there!
	- Claudia

Scottish Wizard looking for drinking companion. Must be able to pay for both
NEVER ever MENTION I be shudderin... COFFEE... If ye can supply
firebreather, ye will have me eternal gratitude, which lasts about five
	- McDougan

Fatale,         								   Somar,          
	:P *wink*       								 :P *wink*       
		- Mara          									- Mara           

Best Wishes to Rummy on his birthday, December 14th. 

The guild of healers is growing. if you wish to become a member - mudmail Gwil
or Satori, or speak to one of them. if you need the help of this RP clan, TELL
anyone who has the healer in there title and if you want our help, remember,
we will not do this in violation of mud rules, and we will not interfere in
the doings of other, larger and PK enabled clans.

Virago and my search 
I have been searching for Virago for many days now and have found no sign of
her except a few reports here and there, nothing substantial to follow up. If
anyone has any information please let me and Crowe know. This is imperative.
Thank you.

All helping druids out there! I'm an apprentice druid as my title applies if
you whois me. I need help. I want to be a druid. I need someone (a druid) that
will help me become a real druid. I would thank you a lot if you helped me and
told me of the druidic lore or whatever.
All I want for Christmas! 
	Well, I think everyone should want a Monopoly board like my Momma and
	Daddy like.
		- Sweet
	More happy mudders, less angry and cursing people. And a new job that
		-FlyingFox to unwarg. :<
		- Candide

                                   \|/ \|/ \|/
                fRoDo mAClaREn's Common to Frodospeak dictionary!
                                            Copyright 1489, Frodo MacLaren.

Many pepples canna understands wha I say, ans allaway c'plain 'bout wha I's
sayin. So now yu's all canna complain, jus read ans yu can speak liddle bit
Frodospeak tu!

Common: Many of you people cannot understand what I say, and always complain
about what I'm saying. So, now you can't complain, just read and you can speak
a little of Frodospeak too!

Frodo'ish       Common              Frodo'ish                   Common
-=-=-=-=-       -=-=-=-             -=-=-=-=-                   -=-=-=-
aye             yes                 e'er                        ever
yah             yes                 eitha                       either
uh-huh          yes                 meeces                      mice
nopey           nope                unnerstan                   understand
uh-uh           no                  Alla                        all or allof
ook!            ook                 clappa                      clapper
ooerf           ouch                Pokey Stick                 DEX Weapon
ooky            ooky                Slashy Stick                STR Weapon
pepple          people              bonky or bashy stick        CON Weapon
yu              you                 Tuff                        CON
canna           cannot or can't     Dancy                       DEX
shouldna        should not          stwong                      STR
couldna         could not           FlapFlap                    fly
shouldna        should not          pick-me-up                  refresh
couldna         could not           liddle                      little
e'en            even                ClappagoBOOMallafalldown!   Guess.

More to come if the wonderful, intelligent, all-knowing, powerful, diligent
working imms grant me it. *wink*

                                   \|/ \|/ \|/

                        THE MYSTERY OF THE MUMMER'S MURDER
            transcribed from the ramblings of Duncan Ruthven McDougan
    "The murder cashe? Shure I'll talk - Ye be buying the ale, right? Oh,
good... Well, I was called t' Major Payne'sh eshtate t' investigate, and when
I got there, there was thish poor woman, covered in Ketchup... which I was
then informed informed by major Payne, her step-father, that it, was, in fact,
blood. It took a while for me t' quite realize that, though... I shtarted
looking for ketchup bottles, and checked the wine cellar... and Then deshided
t' make shure th' ale cases didna be poishoned - At rishk of life! But then I
took a second look at that body. She was dressed in silk, and her face was
half-white, half-black- Pass another Hogshhead, there- So, since I dunna want
t' loshe me job - some say I be a drunk! Imagine! I shet off t' inveshtigate.
    I contacted all the locals, and learned from her old London neighbor,
Paribus, that Spite put on airs, although he could definitely state she was
probably NOT manor born. He alsho reported seeing her conspiring with her
shtep-brother Outshider, and thought that she was trying t' put something over
on her shtep-father, Major Payne. It was Natalia, though, that besht shet her
time of death that day. Natalia strikingly remembers the odd makeup on her
face as she left the inn at 10 o'clock. I then moved on to Major Payne, who
shaid he saw nothing bechaushe he wash at his party, arguing with his son
Outsider at the time, who then stormed out, which neither of them would talk
about. I ordered Major Payne, Outshider,  Kio, and Ryssa Major Payn'e's
granddaughter who I suddenly noticed looked a lot like Spite, to be put into a
safe room in the Stag. After giving her a note for Richard, the innkeeper, I
called it a night
    Then today, the plot started to unravel, a little. I met Crowe, a special
inveshtigator from London. At firsht I didna trusht him, but he shtarted to
gain my trust by his friendly, outgoing manner, and eventually, I brought him
up to date. Then split up with him, and asked Major Payne and Outsider to talk
once again. But they weren't very helpful. I didna get any breaks until, on a
hunch, I asked Ryssa about her parents. It seems that the poor girl, who is
scared to death that someone will kill her next, was the daughter of one of
Major Payne's shonsh, who died, and the house cook.
    But, although I asked everyone I came across, I still have not figured how
her father died. Major Payne claims that the cook committed suicide... but I
shtronglyy shushpect that Spite either in actuality WAS the cook, and not just
Payne's step-daughter, or at least in some way was related to her.. but, as of
yet, I still have not succeeded in learning the geneologies....
    I interviewed the Sherewood Librarian next. She was a nashty person, more
concerned about getting her mummer's costume back then about Swift's death. It
seems that her son was driven insane by Spite's seductive ways. Further
inquiries led to vicious rebuttals, and I had to give up. But she seemed so
preoccupied with that costume that I ordered me deputies to comb it for
    There was one final interview today... Bertie, a local boy. He showed up
with his  dog, Arnold and proceeded to tell us how he was walking near the
estate, about eleven o clock, when he saw the girl walking by, her face pale
white. She turned to look at him and he saw that half of her face was gone
(evidently the make up). He asked how she was killed, and asked numerous times
about the murder weapon, which we hadn't discovered yet. But then, as Ryssa
and I (I took Ryssa with me so I could protect her) examined the area,
Bertie's dog ran up and started tugging at us to follow. Ryssa, being a bit
faster then me, reached the cliffs of Dover first, and as I ran I heard
Ryssa's cries of "Grab the rope, Bertie! When I finally caught up, the tearful
Bertie explained he had been pushed off. He confessed he had come to throw a
dagger off the cliff, which he then gave to me. It was the murder weapon!
Bertie tearfully explained that it belonged to Ulric- but that he knew Ulric
was innocent. He had stolen it from Ulric's house, to protect him.
    I then realized that Ulric couldn't be the murderer. For one thing, It is
highly unlikely that  the murderer would go back to get the murder weapon to
bring it to his house.And for another thing, why would Ulric push his friend
Bertie off the cliff, if Bertie was trying to protect him? This leads me to
believe that either a friend, or enemy of Ulric's committed the murder (since
a stranger probably wouldn't bring the thing back.) But we canna tell more
until we find Ulric....

                                   \|/ \|/ \|/

The stage was set, the players chosen, WhiteRose would play the lovely Juliet
Capulet; Donelan, the dashing Romeo Montegue; Shari, Juliet's faithful nurse.
The director, Rufus, gave his players free reign of emotes, socials, chats and
moods - full improvisational liberty. The famous balcony scene was to be
    'The twist...', Rufus said, with a certain gleam in his eye, 'Is that you
have to do it in Pig Latin, and the audience may chime in at any time with
comments and additional dialogue.' And so it was that Rufus' off-off-off
Broadway spectacular was to be played. In Pig Latin.

    'Utbay oftsay!', Donelan spoke as he strode into WhiteRose's orchard.
'Atwhay ightlay uthray onderya indoway eaksbray? Itay isay ethay eastay, anday
Ulietjay isay ethay unsay!', he exclaimed as he spied her at the window.
(Donelan then skipped the rest of his part, and merely swooned at the sight
of such euatybay as WhiteRose.)
    Whispering loudly to herself, Sharri muttered the words, 'Ahay, uetray
ovelay...', somewhat prophetically, as with less than manly grace Donelan
swooned dramatically into WhiteRose's arms.
    Yet with all this talent, from the audience came the criticisms. 'Hmm,
woulda been interesting to see them do it in Greek,' Jezerael said thinking,
perhaps, that Pig Latin was not quite difficult enough.
    WhiteRose continued unflinching, 'Omeoray omeoray, erfortwhey are
outhay omeoray?' as Sharri fanned her pale brow.

Suddenly, and without fair warning, the director yelled, 'Cut, cut, cut,
cut... Director decides to change gears.' And there was much grumbling and
grinning as it was decided that Omeoray and Ulietjay was to be performed in
the style of an oldstyle Western...

    Taking the temperamental director's whims in her stride, Sharri gave a
rousing, 'Come on ya'll.'
    Donelan rode up on his dusty burro, only to spy lady Juliet on the
boardwalk. 'Whoa!' Donelan said. 'Hey Juliet!'
    Wiping the dust from her skirt (as Sharri cooked up a frying-pan of
fatback and beans to distract the lovers' parents) WhiteRose said to Donelan,
'Romeo, ya'll change your name, and I'll consider riding off into the sunset
with you.'
    'Why, shore Juliet!' Donelan said quite amicably. 'But call me luv, and
I'll jump in the river fo you!'
    Needing no more encouragement, WhiteRose climbed up onto Donelan's horse
as he twirled his lasso about his head trying to impress her. And it seemed to
work, as WhiteRose swooned into Donelan's arms, and the lights went down on
the scene.
                                   \|/ \|/ \|/
                                        by Mustard
The lumbering barbarian was bleeding freely now. Being a rather dim-witted
barbarian, he hadn't taken the time to consider the prowess of his intended
victim before launching his ill-fated attack. Now he was in the process of
getting his butt kicked.
    "Oh man, I'm getting my butt kicked!" whined the weedy comp sci student to
no-one in particular, "I'm down to 15 hit points!"
    Spindly fingers flew across the keyboard in a blur, punctuated frequently
by the loud kerthunk the enter key being thumped. With each hit the others
working in the computer lab visably winced. Unperturbed, the student continued
to mutter to himself, as the kerthunks became increasingly louder.
    "Aww, this MUD sucks - slain by an elf..." he mumbled, as he shut down the
    When he was gone the room let out a collective sigh of relief and
continued on with their assignments in peace. As the student exited the
building and walked at a quick pace through the expansive Uni carpark, a dark
figure stepped from the shadows and fell in behind him. A long knife flashed
in the moonlight before it slid neatly between the students ribs.
    A student growls with anger.
    A figure swings twice and hits a student twice.
    A figure's long knife slices neatly through a student, and a gout of dark
blood spurts out. 
    A student is leaking guts.
    A figure sidesteps a student's feeble hit.
    A figure kicks a student in the solar plexus, rendering him breathless.
    A figure fires his colt revolver at a student
    A student is dead!
A far away a voice says, "I'm getting bored with killing all these low
level a president - that'd be a challenge!"

                                   \|/ \|/ \|/
                                   CUPID'S DICE
Cupid seemed to be playing dice with the members of LegendMUD last week as
evidenced by this juicy scene at the Royal Stag:

    'A toast then: to women!' Crowe exclaimed to Malorn as he held his
waterskin high in the air. 'But women from the Coven are just trouble....they
are like Grendels' he added wryly. 'They are witches,' Somar agreed, 'but they
aren't nearly as cruel as those others that plague us.' 'I must agree the
Coven are better than Grendels,' Malorn replied. At this, Malorn and Crowe
raised their waterskins in a toast to women everywhere and drank heartily.
    'Whoa', Crow exclaimed, looking a little pale as he wobbled on unsteady
legs, 'I feel weird'. Malorn seemed also to feel a little strange as he
silently staggered about the room, bumping into walls and tripping over his
feet. Abruptly, and without a hint of propriety, Crowe stared into the eyes of
Virago and muttered 'Uhhh...'.
    He was met with a sharp 'Now what?' from the unsuspecting Virago.
    Without hesitation, Malorn pushed Crowe aside to form his own clumsy
greeting. 'Um, ah, hi there :)' he said, blushing furiously. Virago blinked,
seemingly caught off guard by so much attention. 'I don't think we've met, you
know, formally yet' Crowe interrupted, clambering over Malorn to get to
Virago. 'Crowe, at your most humble service, lady' he said with a Knightly
flourish. 'I was just about to tell you, you have beautiful eyes.'
    The onlookers paused mid-ale to pay attention to the strange scene that
was unfolding, supplying both Malorn and Crowe with a fair number of cheers,
and equal amounts of sarcasm.
    'Methinks you are drunk, woman-hater', Virago spat at Malorn. 'I have no
need of a MAN... I do fine by myself. Some manner of insanity has struck!' she
said, peering about the room in disbelief. 'I saw the beautiful Virago first,'
Malorn growled at Crowe, warning him to keep his distance. Ignoring Malorn's
threats, Crowe turned his attention to Virago saying, 'Nonetheless, my service
is most unabatedly yours.' 'What would she need of a cowardly Knight?' Malorn
baited Crowe.
    Seemingly disturbed by the strange emotions of these men, Virago chatted
'Men are insane!' Crowe in replied, 'Indeed they are in your presence, dear
Virago'. With a cruel stroke, Malorn satirized the Knight's thinking that he
had any right to the hand of the lovely Virago, and soon the whole tavern was
rolling on the floor in laughter.
    'Back off my... FRIEND' Crowe spat at Malorn angrily.
    'I NEED NO MAN!!!', Virago screamed in the face of their lustful attentions.
Though Malorn offered to provide Virago with a passport to the world, he also
offered Crowe the opportunity to quip, 'the only thing you could provide her
with is a case of fleas!'
    'All better than the lice you carry about in your...'
    'STOP', Virago yelled, interrupting their sparring. 'Neither of you have
anything to offer that I would want. The world is mine already, I make it that
way myself!'
    'Forgive me lady,' Crowe humbly apologized to Virago, 'where are my
manners?' 'Let me take you away from this old fool', Malorn said to Virago.
'You are both insane' Virago said, turning her back on the two. 'It's you she
doesn't need or want' Malorn growled at Crowe. 'I'll have no part in this'
Virago said as she turned to the comfort of her friend Mara. 'You are men
without honor attaching themselves where they are unwanted! I don't want
either of you anywhere near me!' To this Malorn chatted angrily, 'You heard
her Crowe, stay away from her!' 'Malorn, its you Virago despises! Take the
hint and back off, pal' Crowe countered. Malorn whispered quietly to Virago,
'as soon as I dispose of Crowe, you'll see how much I could provide.' Pushing
Malorn aside, Virago screamed, 'You have nothing I want! How much more plainly
can I say this?' Belying their once close friendship, Crowe chatted to the
world, 'Malorn is about as appealing to women as a case of rabies'
    Tempus gasped in astonishment, predicting that a fight was imminent.
    'I should kill them both, just to relieve their insanity', Virago
muttered under her breath. 'That does it!' Crowe snapped to Malorn, placing
his long wormtooth dagger in Malorn's back. 'Malorn and Sir Crowe are
fighting!' Tempus cried. With lightening speed, Valeria rushed about trying to
place bets on Sir Crowe to win the battle as the fight raged. One time friends
had now become bitter enemies as blow matched blow in the once sleepy tavern.
Bleeding terribly, Malorn fled the Stag, only to return to the scene to
silence Crowe's victory chants with the Blade of Shadows in the Knight's back.
And sadly, Crowe was killed by Malorn.
    'Ah Hell!' Valeria groaned, ripping her betting tickets to shreds.
    Her patience worn, Virago asked for the head of Dis as proof of an
undying love. Racing from the room, Malorn attempted to get the jump on Crowe.
'Ha! Your sure fooled that idiot Malorn', Crowe said with a grin. 'The quest
was but a ruse to trick Malorn. I, unlike he, saw through it.' Chatting
loudly, Malorn expressed his easy victory over the head of Dis, yet with a
broad wink to the lovely Virago, Crowe responded with, 'You go Malorn, Virago
and I will be waiting when you return.'
    In mere seconds, Malorn returns with the head of Dis and dropped it,
bloody and dripping, at Virago's feet. 'You're beaten twice in one day, old
man' Malorn taunted Crowe. 'It's a fraud!' stammered Crowe in seeming
disbelief. 'You think I'm an idiot?' Virago asked Malorn. 'Malorn is not only
a coward, but a dishonest one,' Crowe said. 'Indeed Malorn, the head of Dis in
under five minutes? I would say that is a record'. 'You are both liars and
fools' Virago chatted. 'But which is the bigger liar? My money is on Malorn
this time' Valeria chatted, whipping out her purse. At this, the patrons
swarmed about Valeria, clambering to place their bets as Somar, proclaiming
himself the ruler of Dis,  pronounced the head to be a fake! 'Malorn is a
liar, Somar has proven me right' Virago chatted.
    And so it seems that once again, Crowe has gotten himself into trouble
with the ladies.
Legendary Times is published by the gods of LegendMUD. Please send all
replies/additions to to our address at for inclusion in the
next edition. We, however, reserve the right to moderate this discussion, and
may object to some submissions.
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