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.../________________/ running on mud.aus.sig.net 9999
VOLUME THREE, ISSUE TWENTY December 30, 1996
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES
The LT Roving Reporter
New Year's Resolutions
The Legendary Times Personals
The Death? of Virago
A Converstaion With DeL!r!Um
Famous historical, literary, fictional, and contemporary figures answer the
question: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
To be HAYELED! in the name o'Jayeeezus!
The road baked in the relentless summer sun as the chicken, looking about,
began to cross. It stopped occasionally to peck at a grass seed that had
become lodged in a crevice in the cracked macadam. The chicken reached
the other side, then began making his way to the Salinas, which that had
become lodged in a crevice in the cracked macadam. The chicken reached
the other side, then began making his way to the Salinas, which lay muddy
and turgid in the July afternoon, all the while thinking of the cool shade
by the river and how good the can of beans in his bedroll would taste
I do not know, Klingon chickens do NOT cross the road.
-Robert Anton Wilson:
Because agents of the Ancient Illuminated Roosters of Cooperia were
controlling it with their Orbital Mind-Control Lasers as part of their
master plan to take over the world's egg production.
Please send your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address at
[email protected] Letters to the editor and submissions are welcomed.
Letter to the Editor: ABOUT ROLEPLAYING:
One way to increase roleplaying on the mud would be to make it easier for
people to roleplay. What I mean is that people, even if they have in mind what
kind of rp they have, it is hard to suddenly start one. For instance, when I
first came to this mud, for about 6 months I didn't even know what the heck rp
was. After a while I got to notice what it was, and I kind of got an idea of
what my roleplay was going to be. But the problem was that it was hard to
express it all of a sudden, and to suddenly sort of "change" your personality
to a different person is hard and it would seem awkward. Plus, people don't
ask about those things much in this mud. So a better way to show your rp
without having to blab it out to everybody would be to put it where everyone
has access to, and don't have to go asking the person (it does sound awkward
if you ask a person what their rp is).
I suggested these before, but I'll say it again. First, you could have like a
whois tag, except for that it shows your rp. You could supposedly type "rp
(person)" and find out about the person. Or you could have a rp board built
into ooc. Or maybe like a book shop where people can publish autobiographies
and such (or anything else in fact, it would be a neat idea that if you
publish books you can get part of the profit by the number of books sold).
And, if you explain what rp is and suggest strongly that they do so in the
screen where you make a new character, that would also help. I have no clue in
how hard coding this stuff would be, but I'm just giving some suggestions.
DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES
Please congratulate Gail on her promotion to head coder. Ganelon is
leaving the position because of the pressures of his job in real life.
Gail's been doing wonderful work on the skill trees code thus far, and
richly deserves the promotion. Congrats!
- NEW AREA!
The Land of Shadows, based on the Celtic legends of Cuchullain, has been
added to ancient Ireland. Please be sure to congratulate Rufus on this new
piece of turf.
In Celtic Legend there is a particular cycle of stories about the hero,
Cuchullain. His legends are some of the most detailed and graphic, noting
his travels between many lands, his besting of the worlds most difficult
foes, and his learning the art of the warrior. Take a trip down through
the legends that surrounded Cuchullain, perhaps even meet with him
NOTE: The Land of Shadows is a difficult area. It is listed as 50+ in the
areas list for a purpose. It is intended for _large_ groups of level 50
characters in order to plunder/explore and reap its rewards. There are
things you are not likely to find elsewhere on the mud. You will feel good
in knowing that there are no true DT's in the area, but there are many
many dangers throughout the legends of Cuchullain, and those are reflected
in this area.
- Q&A RESCHEDULE:
Joule and Spencer won't be around from Dec 30 to Jan 6 due to the sudden
passing away of Joule's father in Ohio. The Wednesday night Question &
Answer session will be rescheduled at a later date. We wish you and yours
a safe and happy New Year.
- Spencer and Joule (and family)
THE LT ROVING REPORTER
by Leila, LT Staff
This week's Roving Reporter takes a look at the different ways Legendites
celebrate New Year's Eve.
In token appreciation of your civilized and bizarre customs, I resolve to:
Bathe once a calendar year.
Have only one flagon of ale with breakfast.
Eat only white meat.
Have only one wench with breakfast.
Never kiss a wench on the mouth without knowing where she's been
Never kiss a member of the Coven, period--Well, if they were mildly
Never kill a man before breakfast--women and children are ok though.
Never slay a wizard without introducing myself first.
Find out just whose panties I'm wearing on my head.
New Years? Curious that you celebrate it at this time of the year. Among
the Ombernorrs, we celebrate the turning of the year in the spring, when
the plants arise from their winter slumber and the young animals are
bourne to their parents. The wizards of the Ptolloden would come down from
their domes in the northern reaches and give shows for the common folk,
colorful and fanciful in their cloaks of bird feathers. Each wizard's garb
was that of the the bird whose power he or she currently wielded. Such were
the year's end celebrations that I recall as a child. Not since my teen
years have I seen that joyous festival though, having been immersed in my
studies at Ptolloden for the past 3 years. Now I find myself without my
psithe and cast amongst an unfamiliar people, trying to accustom myself to
We start by eating ham and potatoes at 6pm. Then we meet with those people
we didn't dine with, and have fun until 11 o'clock. At 11 o'clock, we
watch a 15 minutes long tv-show '90 years birthday'. It is about an old
widow (it's her birthday) and her waiter/butler, it's about how her
birthday is celebrated. Very amusing, and we see it every year *blush*.
Old habits are hard to break *smile*. Then we anxiously await midnight,
where people all run around the streets wishing everyone they meet a happy
new year. Then there are fireworks, and afterwards we *pondering about how
to translate* party on? until dawn breaks, where we all go to sleep. The
day after (evening on the 1st of January) we go to my parent's home and
dine with the family.
This year, we're all going to pool our money together and get some pizza
and pop and watch the ball drop at midnight.
This year I'm puttin on my dancing shoes and painting the town beige.
WHAT LEGENDITES HAVE RESOLVED THIS NEW YEAR'S...
To mud less and study more.
To stop drinkin' too much beer while holding a loaded gun.
I want to learn how to successfully and consistently land a 360 on my
snowboard, finally get my black belt, and get a job..one thing I would like to
change about myself is that I want to stop letting rude people get to me.
I hev been told I shouldna drink ash I hev been, sho I plan t' drink more, t'
promote a healthy lifeshtyle.
To charm Freddy the mischievous spider monkey with my razor sharp wit.
Since I've finished all my college apps, and being a second semester senior, I
don't got much else ta do so I guess my resolution is to mud more! :) and also
to work on my proposal! :)
To curb my gutter mouth.
To get good grades and find love.
To see that all Hermetic Order clan members level to 50 before March.
To hit the 100mil mark. That's my New Year's resolution :)
To try to kill more people instead of chasing them away :P
I don't believe in em...cause I feel like I should try to strive for being what
i want to be year round..and that one day of good intentions won't resolve
I don't make resolutions because I hate to break them. Most never stops, but
to quit smoking is a traditional resolution.
AND IN THIS TRADITION...
To give up smoking.
To give up smoking.
To take up smoking.
To get a life.
To think up a New Year's resolution for next year!
To finish his area some time next year.
To finish skillstrees some time next year.
Mine oath is to journey forth into the next stage of life by acquiring a place
to call my own.
To get those Mexican migrant workers to move out of my living room.
o O | Wonder what folks are |
`\|||/ | doing over at LegendMud?|
(o o) \________________________/
THE LEGENDARY TIMES PERSONALS
Leila, LT Staff
THE MEETING PLACE:
The fun, modern way to meet exciting people just like you!
I hev been lookin int' th' hishtory books.... not that I enjoy it... just
tryin t' find shtuff t' blackmail fellows for ale wi'. And there be one
foul Lassie - A mere lassie na less, that really gets me in a bad mood...
She be too visible. If she hed been a man, I could understand her... and
even now, I musht admit that she makes me laugh everry time she speaks in
th' hishtory books - But I dunna like bein' forced t' laugh. So, if she
likes that respectable poetry so mush, then let her read THIS.
There once was a lassie named Dusty, ye see,
Who brandished a scathin' wit everr so cruelly.
This horrible fiend
Was why all screamed
whenn Bards came upon th' scene.
She named th' darklorrd a guppy,
Which caused herr t' get a bit unlucky
Th' daggerr she encountered
thrrroughly trounsed herrrrr,
And made herrr feel a bit yucky.
Th' bloody lassie wanted t' marry Greyscot,
Thank goddess she did not
Forrr if he herr married
Be parodied and harried
she would hev caushed his brain t' rot.
Somethin about a lass whose name begined wi' a "g"
and thenna bloody possessed shtuffed bunny and she
But these I will na tell ye of, sirr,
Because I dunna wannt t', so there!
So kindly leave me be!
*Hic!* This crude foul lassie
dunna be th' kind of girl ye choosh t' marry.
But.. she did make me laugh...
So I shuppose I must ashk...
Dushty, will ye merrry me?
Alrightch... so I feel like crushin herrr AND kissin herr... but moshtly
crush.... Ah, bloody inferrrno. *grumble*
I am Celestia, and I am 10 and a half. A few months ago, my mother
contracted the fever and died, leaving me orphan (since I never knew my
father) and dying of the same fever, all alone. Somehow in the throes of
my delirium, I wandered into a strange land, where kind men cured me, and
I awoke quite well in my home some days later. In my misery and
loneliness, I sought out a family to replace the mother I had lost, and I
joined Clan McDougan. Yet my emptiness remains, and I feel no attraction
towards ale (even for medicinal purposes!). If you see me traveling, I
prithee scorn me not, for I am only a lost child seeking hope.
Must be skilled in the arcane arts. Experienced magicker or
prestidigitator preferred. Needed to tutor fledgling mage in the
arcane arts of this land. I have spent the previous 4 years in the
study of the arcane arts of my homeland, but they avail me naught here
in this strange world I have found myself in. Send word to Teron if
you are in need of an apprentice mage.
P.S. Willing to entertain, fight, or do other odd jobs for food or
Justice would like to publicly apologize to Ms. Daavya for her unfounded
allegations of being attacked... the incident never actually happened, and
Justice blames the slip on old age, all the while denying serial senility.
Happy Birthday to Beam! December 29, 1996, he was 27!
\|/ \|/ \|/
THE DEATH? OF VIRAGO
Who Called The Dark Lord
Malorn storms into the room, and seeing Abigail sitting at a table, he
screams, 'Let Virago go, witch!'
Abigail, looking away, smugly replies, 'She says to tell you hello,
Malorn.' Turning to face him, she continued, 'If you beg, perhaps I'll even
let her speak for herself.'
Malorn, trying to hold back his anger, fumes, 'Let her speak, you wench.'
'I'd take care in your attitude, old man. Or Virago will be a memory to
you,' Abigail says coolly.
Malorn sighs, 'If I must beg, I will.'
'Its a shame that Crowe isn't here to grovel along with you Malorn. But,
I've got plans for him as well.'
Malorn pleads, 'Abigail, I will beg to speak to the woman I love today,'
After a deep breath he continues, 'But when we meet after I have recovered
her, I will not hold back my blade as I did yesterday.'
Abigail smirks. 'The only thing I saw you doing was tucking your tail
between your legs when you ran. But, for my amusement, I suppose I should let
the woman speak.'
'You said I should not harm you yesterday, so I just defended myself until
I had to leave,' replies Malorn quickly.
Amusement obvious upon Abigail's face, she nods to a woman at the far end
of the room. Suddenly, a voice can be heard, not too distant, yet uncertain.
Confused, the voice calls, 'Where in all the hells am I...and how did I get
here? Someone is going to pay dearly for this!'
Stricken with relief, Malorn returns, 'Virago.. you are alive!!!!'
Abigail agrees. 'Of course she is, I've no reason for her not to
Malorn, still trying to figure where the voice is coming from, yells
'Virago, you have been kidnapped by foul witches!'
All is silent, until Abigail turns to Malorn and taunts, 'Looks like she's
nothing further to say at the moment,' she grins, 'Or at least to you.'
'Abigail, you harm a hair on her head, you will pay with your life.'
'No, Malorn, you're mistaken,' she corrects him. 'Its Crowe who will pay
with his life.'
'You're not doing anything to Crowe!' Sir Drakkonn rises out of his chair.
'If were not for him, you'd not be in this... unfortunate situation,'
Abigail explains, paying no attention to the others in the room.
Malorn yells, 'You touch Crowe and I will send you to your sister, the
slut she was.'
'Oh, I'm not the one that will kill Crowe,' she grins, 'I leave that for
'You will not cause Crowe and I to fight again, witch.'
'He is the reason you will lose the one you love. He is the reason you
'Don't blame another for your sister being a weak-minded tramp, Abi,' he
'If you touch Crowe you'll have all the Knights after yah, Abigail!' Sir
'And your words are the cause for Virago's death,' she says to Malorn as
she heads for the door.
His anger building, Malorn comments quietly, 'I warn you Abigail, you are
gonna regret this.. I do not want to turn back to my masters ways, but I
'Knights are cowards, if you are a Knight, you shall die along with Crowe,
Drakkonn,' she promises as she stops at the doorway. 'Its you who are to blame
for what happens, Malorn,' Abigail continues, her back to Malorn.
'You are as weak of mind as your sister Abi, take some responsibility for
yourself,' the dark skinned rogue scorns.
Just then, Terrizano jumps to his feet, 'Coven speaks most foully, I will
help the Knights purge your pitiful clan from this realm. For witches one and
all, shall die by my dagger or that of Crowe and Malorn,' he cackles.
'Ah, but you see, it will be my dagger that runs her through, but your
words that cause it,' she threatens. Peering at Malorn, she continues, 'Live
with the regret, Malorn. And suffer, along with Crowe, at the loss.' 'Malorn
cannot even help one he claims to love so dearly.' Abigail laughs as she walks
out the door.
'I can try,' Malorn promises.
'You have already lost,' she assures him, 'Virago belongs to the Coven
'Noooooo!!' begs Drakkonn.
'Abigail, you will be sorry if you hurt her,' Malorn loudly warns as he
sets out after her.
'Virago, where are you? I will come to help,' Malorn calls out into the
In an instant, Abigail stands before a growling Malorn, Virago and Kamiya
at her side. 'Come to watch her die?' she asks the dark skinned rogue.
Kamiya pets the entranced Virago lovingly.
'Touch her and i will kill you,' he threatens.
Abigail, a look of seriousness overtaking her, say to Malorn, 'Watch what
your threats have done to your love.' Abigail withdraws inwards and begins
chanting under her breath. Abigail stuns a darkly sleek woman with a blast of
Power! The darkly sleek woman stands as if in a trance as Abigail strikes her
down with her dagger. Not a sound is heard as her body falls to the ground.
[Info]: Virago killed by Abigail.
[Info]: Virago is permanently DEAD!
'No!' Malorn screams, 'No!' He quickly and furiously turns towards the
Celtic lass as she wipes the blood from her blade. In his anger, he rushes at
Abigail, slashing her with his dagger. Kamiya watching as the two exchange
blows. Suddenly, Abigail chants a few words and stuns Malorn with a powerful
blast! Wounded severely, Malorn flees to regain his composure and enable
himself to heal.
In the distance, Drakkonn yells, 'You [email protected]#$%'
'Malorn, form a group in the location that you suggest, I give my blade to
your cause,' promises Terrizano.
'Virago belongs to the Coven now,' Abigail assures all.
'Witch!' the rogue screams.
'Death will find it's way to you Abigail!' the Knight Drakkonn swears.
'I do not take threats lightly,' Abigail exclaims, 'You were warned,
Malorn.' She turns to the crowd and yells, 'Virago, come to your sisters!'
'What??' a voice calls out, 'My sisters...where are you?' A dark figure
walks towards Abigail.
'Come to us, Virago,' Kamiya calls, 'Your spirit has seen the truth of the
The figure steps into the light only to reveal that it is indeed Virago,
'I live but to serve her, sister,' she says softly to Kamiya.
Abigail ponders, then grins wickedly, 'Would it not be interesting if
Virago, after her training, ran you through, Malorn?'
'I don't know, I am not sure I even know her, the confusion heard plainly
in his voice, 'All I know is that you will die, Abi.'
'If it is the Goddess' will for him to die by my blade...then it shall be
so,' Virago promises.
Suddenly, Justice enters and turns to the rogue, 'Has it come to this,
Malorn...' she sighs, 'We were friends once... Good friends..'
'Were, until you witches killed an innocent woman,' he fires back.
'And you threaten my sisters?' Justice shakes her head sadly, 'The fickle
nature of men seems never to be in doubt.'
'I think she was innocent, at least... I am so dizzy.' Malorn mutters in
'Malorn is a fool,' Abigail says, glaring at him.
Justice returns, 'Mayhaps an oar upside the head will help his
'After all he has been through these past weeks, he still cannot learn,'
Malorn, still confused, continues, 'All I know is that there is blood to
'I merely enabled her to start a new life,' she says. Turning to Virago
she continues, 'She is very much alive. Are you not, Virago?'
'You are mistaken Virago .. the Coven is on the dark side ..and only death
lives there .. no love .. no passion .. just death,' Stormcrow tries in vain
to convince the dark, sleek woman.
'Abigail is my sister,' she returns, 'I owe her my life for bringing me to
the Goddess, my life and my loyalty..those who threaten her ...threaten me as
well. I see you have no knowledge of our Goddess, Stormcrow.'
Stormcrow continues, 'Again your words seem to come from another .. I know
of your Goddess ... I see no love there or in any of your sisters.'
Terrizano stands and calls out, 'I call you a cowardess and a believer in
false ways Justice, Allah calls for your death, and I come for you to do his
Virago angrily spins to face Stormcrow, 'Perhaps you should look a bit
more closely, she says to him, 'Or are your eyes so clouded that you are
unable to discern the truth of the Goddess?'
Malorn turns to Virago. 'It is your eyes that are clouded, Virago,' he
tries to explain.
Virago, turning her attentions once again to the dark skinned rogue before
her, warns, 'I think not, Malorn. I am seeing quite clearly and I find your
words against my sisters offensive.'
'Only because they have you under their power, as they did me for a long
time,' he tries in vain to convince her.
After a pause, Abigail turns to Virago, 'Tis alright, sister,' she begins,
'Malorn seems to be having a bit of trouble with reality.'
As the others continue to argue, a dark cloud billows up, surrounding
Malorn. Totally shut off from the light, encased in pure darkness, only the
sound of a breaking the silence... Malorn yells above the crowd, 'I
will take my revenge on you, Abigail!'
Justice sighs, 'Malorn, my friend... I wish you could set aside your
stubbornness.... this will bring you only pain...'
'Do not get in my path, Justice, I value our friendship,' Malorn warns.
The booming voice of the Dark Lord calls out, 'WELCOME THE DARKNESS,
MALORN, I GREET THE TO THY NEW HOME!' The cloud lifts from around Malorn's
body, and Malorn stares out at the crowd with hollow eyes. All falls silent,
as a final echoes the room.
'Noo!!!!' pleads Drakkonn.
'Your Dark Lord cannot help you Malorn. You're old and weak,' Abigail says
'Old and weak, but I will defeat you witch!' he returns, 'I must go and
pray to my lord for guidance and power. 'I will be back for your soul, Abigail
and any who stand in my way.'
'I cannot wait til we meet again, Malorn,' the Celtic lass grins.
'It will be a meeting you will not forget, witch,' Malorn promises. 'Watch
your back, Abigail.'
'And you yours.'
\|/ \|/ \|/
A CONVERSATION WITH DEL!R!UM
(or Be Careful Who You Call)
A remarkable young woman with mis-matched eyes appears before Catullus.
'Hullo there,' the strange child says. 'I am following my fish. Looking for
my doggie. BOTH! At the same time!! I heard you mention my name.
Catullus quivers in terror, curls up into a fetal position, and starts
The child tugs on his sleeve, and comments, 'Is there a problem? You're
funny, I like you.'
Catullus whispers, "Truly I am mad."
Delirium whispers reassuringly to Catullus, 'That's why I answered.'
'May that druid be cursed with a pox which lasts a thousand years...'
'Oh I could do that if you like,' Delirium continues into his ear. 'The
pox is kinda boring though, don't you think?.'
'Spirits babble in my head, and dance before me, songbirds peck at my
eyes, savage wolves chase me from their den,' Catullus moans. 'Has any child
of the gods suffered as I?' Catullus begs for mercy from Jupiter.
Delirium jumps up and down and up and down and turns around and around.
'Isn't it fun?' she says.
'Have you lost something?' she asks curiously. 'You really don't need to
cry. I'll help you find it.' ' I haven't got any parents. I didn't lose my
parents though. I lost my brother... He's not DEAD! I.. I... just lost him,
'I have lost my home, my honor and my sanity,' Catullus replies bitterly.
'Now only the dream of power and revenge remain to me, and they are lost in the
mists of my suffering.'
She claps. 'That's lots to look for, won't we have fun? Which do you
want to look for first?' 'Oh! You're looking for my brother?,' She continues
somewhat subdued. 'Dream? Morpheus, as you know him.'
'I surrender to this strangeness,' Catullus straightens up and speaks
with determination. 'I shall seek power from those who live in this land, power
to bend the will of the world to me. Morpheus has me in his arms now...Morpheus
or Hades, perhaps.'
'Oooh, that's a wonderful one, one of my favorites,' Delirium bounces
excitedly. 'But Um, no.. you're in my realm now,' she quietly contradicts.
'At least this is a land which I know to exist,' Catullus says. 'I fell
through lands and climes which no Roman knows of.'
Catullus suddenly looks at the girl.
'Are you pleased to see me?' Delirium says to Catullus. 'Maybe you are.
I like to see you. But you're kind of scary. Sometimes it's nice to come
somewhere you've been before, but then sometimes you've been there and forget
Catullus says, 'You almost seem real, spirit.'
Delirium smiles, 'I am very, very real.. sometimes, I think..'
'By Mercury, I do not recall a dream in which I felt hunger, nor one
where I felt the savage pecks of birds so fiercely. Could I have been awake all
this time? Could the druid have sent me to some other land through his magic?'
'I haven't seen Mercury in ages. I think he quit being a God. You can
do that, you know. Quit being a God if you want to. You can quit being anything,
if you want to..'
'But what were those lands, with dress and weapons so strange to me?'
Catallus ponders, 'Ah, but can one become a god? For this, spirit, I confess
to you, this is what I seek. This is the dream of power.'
'Well I should guess so... you can do most anything if you want to..'
'The Caesars are decadent, and seek their power in the realm of weapons
and conquest. I dream of powers unseen, the powers of the gods. Their signs
are everywhere in the world, or so I believed. What do soothsayers see, but
the world invisible? And the druids which the legions speak of fearfully,
those who congregate at night and in blood. Do they not touch on powers which
the Caesars understand but little of?'
Delirium says, 'I see the invisible world lots of times, but then
sometimes I forget how and sometimes I remember other things, and sometimes I
don't even know which world it is I see.. Druids are halfway to my world
Delirium whispers, 'It comes from all those funny herbs, you know.'
The last quarter moon sets in the spring night sky.
'I desire to know of this all,' Catullus says. 'Perhaps I have begun a
journey which I do not yet understand. I shall return to the town called Tara
and ponder. If this be not a dream, then rest is what I need. Farewell,
' Well...' Delirium says. 'Hang in there. I mean, I'll see you. B'Bye.'
'Ave atque vale,' Catullus says.
Legendary Times is published by the gods of LegendMUD. Please send all
replies/additions to to our address at [email protected] for inclusion in the
next edition. We, however, reserve the right to moderate this discussion, and
may object to some submissions.