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VOLUME FOUR, ISSUE NINE                                       April 16, 1997
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                               From the Editor
                               
                                FROM THE IMPS
                        DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES

                               NEWS AND REPORTS
                              LegendMeet Europe
                                RP Competition
                                News From CLeo
                                  LT Lottery
                               
                             SOLOMON'S STATISTICS
                                                                
                              OPINIONS AND IDEAS
                           So You Wanna Get Married
                           
                                GOSSIP COLUMN
                       What the Bluebird Dropped On My Desk
                       
                                  LEGENDITES
                            A Visit to the Inferno
               The McDougan/English, English/McDougan Dictionary
                              Defending the Faith
                              
                                 TWISTYPLOTS
                                Clan Angesley
                                 
                               FROM THE WAR ZONE
                              Clanned Classifieds
                               A Grendel Memorial
                               News from Shotokai
                          The Knights and Mercs Wage War
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Please send your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address at
lt@mud.aus.sig.net. Letters to the editor and submissions are welcomed.
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From the Editor:
    Primarily, I'd like to apologize for not getting an LT out last week.
Down-time on Tuesday/Wednesday (which is when I normally put together the
issue) makes life difficult for me. All of the "weekly" reports this time are
a compilation of two weeks (I'm behind, but they went on around me *eek*:).
And so did the mortals, explaining why this issue is so long.
    On other issues, there's an article a bit further down that mentions
giving PR immorts 24 hour notice for weddings. I'd like to reiterate that
(that doesn't mean don't read the article: do please :), but we really need
that notice. Weddings aren't that easy to do, and they take quite a bit of
time. If you want anything special, that adds time. I try very hard to plan
what work I'm going to do during the day, and spur of the moment, 2 hour long
ceremonies make it very difficult.
    If you'd like to know when to find me, in particular, I try to make sure
I'm on the mud and visible at least 4 hours between 5:00 and 11:00 mud time,
about 3 days a week. I'm usually around a bit more than that (up to 7 days a
week), but that's 12 hours right there, so that's all I schedule in :). I try
(as above) to do the LT Tuesdays (sometimes on Wednesday as well, if it
requires a lot of editing), and long, unplanned activities during that time put
me way behind. So, please, try and plan your wedding, tinyplot, or other event
a little in advance and give us some notice.
                            Thanks,
                                Sabella
___                                                                        ___
\  |----------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                            FROM THE IMPS                             |__\
   '----------------------------------------------------------------------'
Imps Weekly Reports:

Kaige did a lot more work on Aztecs (she's working on finishing up the quests,
and adding new ones), kicked around a new spin on axioms and how to make them
more balanced under skilltrees, looked at Gail's warn code to figure out how
it can be used in conjunction with clans, wrote a new imm command to make
reimbing spell words MUCH easier (in light of the April Fool's reimburses),
participated in discussions on tailor and axioms, and worked on a doozy of a
document to try to collate all info on skill trees so it's available. More
recently, she's been doing a lot of coding work: she cleaned out the bugs &
typos files and cleaned up old ones to make it easier to find all the
bugs/typos relating an area, fixed the bug in lights so they only report going
out once and flicker as they get close to going out, added the synonym 'pose'
for 'emote' (from mushes), added a border in the help files, cleaned up a
bunch of warnings in various parts of the code, added all the above changes to
the skilltrees code, and updated the way herbs are created under skilltrees
(added a section to allow builder-defined herbs).

Ptah worked up a doc on the axioms thing that Kaige proposed, talked about it
with various folks, talked about tailor with people, integrated the new board
stuff into the skill trees code base. Recently he coded READ NEXT so that you
don't have to keep track of what append you are on anymore (this automatically
rolls to the next post when the appends run out, and skips those pesky "That
append does not exist" bugs), read over tailor document and started to try to
integrate it with his own notions of tailor, started going through the ideas
files, put in the new banners on the MOTD and news, and responding to board
posts and other small admin things, like usual.
___                                                                        ___
\  |----------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                   DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES                      |__\
   '----------------------------------------------------------------------'
                                  CODING
                                  
Ea added code to strip out extraneous spaces in channels, and worked on the
new hunt/track skills. Rufus made tells by imms to players always go through
properly, worked on enhancements to the who and whoshort commands, and got
more work done on adding spells, a more consistent function for calculating
damage, and an addition to the object reset system, and made scatter not work
in safe rooms. Gail implemented the unwarn command for imms, and added code to
allow imms to add warnings to players who weren't present, started work on the
ownership code, discussed what skilltree code could be installed
pre-skilltrees, and added custom entry/exit messages to skilltrees.
 
                     =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                                  BUILDING                      

Work progresses on the Abbey update (Charity), Klein hometown update
(Sabella), the new Navaho area (Rufus), the new Trans-Paco Texas area (Joule),
OOC/Clan Updates (Sandra), Aztecs update (Kaige), Romania update (Kheldar),
the new Crusades area (LadyAce), and the new Mongol area (Alhazred). Leila's
PR area and updates to the Recalltag Arena are close to completion. Rufus
continues work on the base-file restructure. Wraith has completed work on the
Generic Animals for skilltrees, and Zandy's area, Anasazi, is now in
beta-test! Expect to see it soon! :)

                     =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                              PLAYER RELATIONS 
                                        
Kaige set up the Easter  Hunt, with rabbits hiding eggs and lots of Easter
treats! She also set up the April's Fool Day, complete with reversed
directions and login screen. Ptah posted an ad for Legend on the Mud Connector
Bulletin Board. The accidental aftermath of April Fool's found us pitching in
along with folks from building and admin to do reimbs (some of us also helped
out during April Fool's itself, clanning folks and so forth). I'd mention
everyone's names that helped out, only it was sorta hard to keep track of at
the time. That and the usual assorted strings, registers, weddings, etc. kept
us tidily busy. Flagg continues to count ballots for the Expies (which are due
in a few days *blatant hint*). Leila's done lots of work on her prize machine,
is working on a new Recall Tag Arena, and maintaining the PR area. She also
did the LT Roving Reporter, as well as a new musical chairs game :) Lirra has
been working on a character rp background workshop, Petal has been working on
her murder mystery; she also ran a special St. Patrick's Trivia :). Kheldar's
been doing research for a historical rp board for the upcoming ooc library, as
well as running a levels 1-5 whois string game. Croaker ran trivia, Spencer
ran the Q and A, and ParticleMan's been working on his scavenger hunt and
character web pages (note, these web pages go on the players' servers, not
our's). Sabella has been doing LT stuffs, as well as gathering some ideas for
the lecture series, working on the clan S token game, and doing tinyplot
stuff. Rusalka did (very) minor editing to Ptah's mud connector ad and posted
it to a couple of newsgroups which she'll be tracking for responses, wrote some
stuff for the LT, and put together the RP contest.
   
                     =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                               ADMINISTRATION
                               
As a department, we got started on new jobs, did clansets, unarchives, and
restrings, reimbursed a lot of players, answered policy questions, kept
visible, and monitored channels. Aermid got started working on help files.
Baca bought a scanner and offered to serve as a clearinghouse for immort items
designed for the web page, accept snail mail, scan, edit, and supply to
whoever handles the page. Chocorua discussed the Grendel clan issue, and got
the new immorts started on their weekly projects (help files (Aermid),
statistic reports (Solomon), and report summaries (Govan)). Govan read through
and cleared the idea.txt of useless comments for Ptah, began work on a rune
project for Kaige, and did the weekly report summaries. Leila continues work
on redesigning games so they do not require admin assistance. Sandra included
all the old warnings into our new warn system, removed the Grendel clan per
Chocorua's request, and caught up on description requests. Solomon compiled a
summary of skills taught in each area for builders, began compiling skill
stats from playerfiles, including the stats on herbal skill usage which he
wrote up for the LT, is preparing this data for an upcoming contest to 'Guess
the Top 10 Skills on Legend', and compiled stats on hometown breakdowns and an
estimate of the clanned population. Wraith continues work monitoring and
clearing all the boards.
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___                                                                        ___
\  |----------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                           NEWS AND REPORTS                           |__\
   '----------------------------------------------------------------------'
                              Legend Meet Europe

I have started to think about organizing a Legend Meet Europe for the next
year. I have already put a message on the Welcome board, and most Danish
players appended it, and I know some others form other countries who would be
glad to go to a Legend's players meeting. So, if you're interested, or if
you're willing to give ideas or such, please mail me at: abe@magic.fr
                                        -Guilhem de le de Lecoque

                     =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                            Role Play Competition
                            
Last week, Rusalka held an impromptu role play competition at the Globe Theatre
in Tudor London. Like Rufus, she asked participating players to act out a
scene from Shakespeare, this one being the death scene from Romeo and Juliet.
Four teams of players competed before a large audience, with interpretations
ranging from Star Wars to hippydom. Memorable moments included one
RomeoSkywalker being pushed out the airlock by his Juliet ("MY GOD, THE
HUMANITY!") Romeo was also run over by a bus in a following scene, following
his poignant discovery of the not-really-dead-Juliet. After much studied
deliberation, Piccalo, the volunteer judge of the evening's festivities,
declared Chimara's and Huma's scene to be the winner. Other teams included
Mondain and Dial, Moonshade and Beam, and Harlequin and Palpatine. Watch out
for future competitions!

                     =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                                News From CLeo

As some of you noticed, I haven't been online much lately.  Partially because
of college and a new challenge...  I've been granted 'godship' in the building
section on a new mud. It sure is one heck of a challenge, but I like it a lot.
It's exactly what I need at this time. Having the '50th level blues', I didn't
know what to do anymore. But don't get me wrong, I do like LegendMUD VERY
MUCH! :)  But I simply need something new to do. I will still come on
LegendMUD from time to time. I wouldn't want to miss the implementation of the
new skill tree (whenever it comes *smiles*). Also, please take note that,
unfortunately, I will not be running my Charivari trivias and Dictionary
trivias. I might do one like that for fun sometimes, but will all the building
I'm doing I simply do not have the time anymore (on top of college).  But one
thing that I will continue to do is the 'Who's This?' monthly articles.
                            Have fun everyone!
                                    -CLeo of the Circle of Angels, 
                                        a.k.a. Xatreka Cakxetrok McDougan

                     =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                                 LT Lottery
                                
Starting this week, contributors to the Legendary Times (Articles, Letters to
the Editor, Personals, Advertisments, etc) will be put into a Lottery Draw
with the chance to win colour coupons, strings, strung items or unique prizes!
It might as well be you!
                                -From Leila and the Legendary Times Staff
___                                                                        ___
\  |----------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                         SOLOMON'S STATISTICS                         |__\
   '----------------------------------------------------------------------'
                             Popular Herbal Skills
                            
This week I have a breakdown of the number of characters with the various
herbal skills. (I will be examining more skills in the future, believe me.)
The total of all characters in this sample is 2143.

                                                      % of
                Skill       Number   % of Total    Herbalists
                Herblore     244        11.39        100.00
                Purify        21          .98          8.61
                Poultice     185         8.63         75.82
                Augment       59         2.75         24.18
                Brew         224        10.45         91.80
                Make Amulet   51         2.38         20.90
                Flavor       105         4.90         43.03
                Foul          47         2.19         19.26
                Root          67         3.13         27.46

From this chart, we can see that the most popular herbal skills (after
herblore, of course) are brew, poultice, and flavor. In fact, most of the
benefits from the herbal skill set come from these three skills. I find it
interesting that there are so few characters with the augment skill. For
comparison, there are 92 characters (4.29% of total) with the field surgery
skill.

By the way, at the moment there is no way for me to determine how many
characters can actually use each of these skills all the time. The mud doesn't
store adjusted stats for characters, only their natural stats. So, while there
are quite a few of what I call 'spam-druids' who have to change their
equipment to root or augment, they are lumped in with the herbalists who
maintain their skills all the time.

This also makes it incredibly difficult for me to figure out how many
characters maintain 100 in any stat, which I'm very interested in. I'll keep
trying to figure out how to do it, though.

Anyway, please continue to send me suggestions and comments.                                                                 
___                                                                        ___
\  |----------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                         OPINIONS AND IDEAS                           |__\
   '----------------------------------------------------------------------'                             
                         So You Wanna Get Married...
                      (or, Matrimony in Ten Easy Steps)

Ever since Hunter Rose and Katya's historic nuptials in the moors of Ireland,
weddings have been one of the most popular Legendary social events (perhaps
even more so than DT equipment finding parties!). On Legend, we've seen almost
every type of wedding, from the traditional to the funky, and everywhere in
between. But no matter what the style, every wedding needs planning. Weddings
that are not planned tend to be messy at best. Remember that this is a very
important day for your character, so don't just toss something off at the last
moment.

1)  If you want immortal involvement, ask well ahead of time. One hour is not
    enough. In fact, more than a day in advance is advised, especially if you
    wish something out of the ordinary. Yes, a PR staffer may do it on short
    notice, but it isn't likely to be his or her best work. Do remember that
    planning your ceremony is not the job of the immortal (you get to decide
    that!); rather, that person is a resource type to help you do what you
    want to have in your wedding.

2)  Consider asking a friend to perform your wedding instead. I've seen some
    beautiful weddings that were performed by players IC. Somewhat related to
    this is having a mob (for instance, a priest), perform it, although of
    course, you'd need immortal involvement for that.

3)  If you attend a wedding, by all means, keep your spam to yourself. It does
    nothing to enhance the mood. Yes, crying can be very effective, but I've
    seen everything from spell chanting to complete wardrobe changes at
    weddings. Lots of spam tends to make the immortal(s) involved pretty
    cranky, unfortunately.

4)  The PR policy is one wedding string per player involved. Most people
    choose to make a ring with that string, but you might consider other
    alternatives as well.

5)  Find cool stuff to wear. The mud is just abounding in dresses, suits, hats
    and so forth. Most anything that you might want to wear is around
    somewhere.

6)  Don't forget the wedding boutique in the OOC, which carries items such as
    tuxedos, dresses, thank you notes, and so forth (yes, thank you notes are
    the classy way to go!).

7)  Decide on what type of wedding you want and the appropriate historical
    setting for it. Bear in mind that Christian wedding ceremonies are a
    relatively new thing. Consider doing, for instance, a service that is
    tailored to the locale (for instance, Isobel and Alistaire were married in
    prehistoric Ireland via a pagan wedding service that their players
    researched especially) On the other end of the spectrum, a Catholic High
    Mass in the Cathedral in France could be quite spectacular. Or a Hindu
    service in India. Have some fun with this.

8)  The traditional western wedding ceremony generally consists of a "dearly
    beloved" bit, a "do you promise to love, honor, cherish" section, and a
    "with this ring I thee wed" part. Many people, RL and IC choose to write
    their own vows for the ring section. If you do choose to do so, be sure to
    get those vows to the person performing the service well ahead of time.

9)  Mages are very handy types of people to get involved in these kinds of
    activities. Create mages can make nifty looking illusions, while cause
    mages can do really nice sudden effects (kinda like when an immortal does
    an echo). As with immortals, be sure to ask them well in advance for their
    assistance (and feed them plenty of wedding cake!)

10) If you do want this to be a public event, ADVERTISE. Or, if you only want
    some folks there, send invitations (yes, you can buy them in the OOC
    boutique). Invitations are a classy touch and definitely raise the mood
    (unless, of course, you don't want that, as in an elopement).

11) Plan a reception that ties in the locale's elements (for instance,
    Rusalka and Bart held their reception in the Dun in Ireland, with the help
    of some specially pre-bought spirits).

12) ROLEPLAY. (just in case that hadn't already come through in the above
    suggestions!)
                                                    -Rusalka
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             ________________________
            /                        \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMud?|
   (o o)    \________________________/
ooO_(_)_Ooo_____________________________________________________________________
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               What the BlueBird of Happiness Dropped on My Desk!

The merry melody of our sweet songbird turned rather gloomy as she peered over
Shalindra's shoulder while the tearful tyke torturously penned the following
note:

    I needs a new mommy, does anyone want to be my new mommy? My mommy's
    been gonned for years and years and I don' think she 'members me
    acouse she's always drinkin an wenchin an liddle kids isn't fun like
    that.
    
    I's fibe years old, and I's gots a brother, a grammpa, aunties, an an
    uncle, and a little sister, Vashi. I's can shoot flamin arrows at
    trees an tree huggers, an  I can do magic thingys and I can be
    invisuble. Yu better like snakes too. Pleeeeese mail Shali if yu wants
    to be my mommy. Ooky people needs not apply!

The curious crow-cousin watched in awe as Valis underwent a strange operation,
performed by a decidedly sneaky looking man in the Hall of Legends. The
machinations of the sneaky man were adequate for some cults however, as the
midnight skinned man is now a priestess.

Unreliable at best, our scandalmonger has come up with a piece of gossip so
far out that... well, you can't get further out, really. Our slurring and
wheezing Scotsman, who used to rely heavily on his headache medicine
(according to McDougan, his drinking is the reason why he's never had a
headache in his life) has decided to live with the headaches and the fair
maiden Katarina. Many were the gasps of astonishment when this solemn vow was
made! Our winged reporter looks forward to discovering whether McDougan will
now be able to speak understandable English since he has given up his trusty
bottle marked XXX - Warning: May be dangerous to health and liver.

Not all, however, view this merry occasion with happiness... Our
gossip mongering bird later came upon Huggy, who appeared rather upset.
Although Huggy seems relieved that Katarina is marrying McDougan and will no
longer compete with her for the attentions of the good Dr. Zhivago, she
suspects foul play. Our bluebird considers this to be a streak of paranoia.
How on earth would McDougan be able to cast a love spell on Katarina, when he
cannot even pronounce "Abracadabra" without adding a minimum of five sh's? The
wedding is reputedly taking place next Saturday, and given the large amount of
people who will want to come see McDougan quaff his last whisky, it might be
wise to arrive early to get a good seat. [Editor's note: Due to the fact that
this is a late LT, the wedding took place last Sunday. Look for an upcoming
report in these pages.]

The effects of the sneaky man may be regarded dubiously by our avian
aria-singer, but she seems to approve of Erica's effect on Hastur. The drunken
scottish mage has sobered up, at his wife's request, and now the charming
wizard lumbers about the mud in his tartan.

Our acclaimed "honest thief", Kahlil recently made a solemn vow (incidentally
in the presence of our pop-corn munching bluebird) swearing that after having
spent time in Nottingham jail, he'd never, ever kill the king's deer again -
and it was only one stag anyway! After having heard Kahlil's description of
the place, our reporter decided never to even rest atop a stag's antlers
again, either. Just in case.

Our tiny tattler shared Lethargio's bafflement as our American Red Cross
member, until now quite satisfied with his own appearance, suddenly discovered
that not only had someone nicked his normal boots, but actually replaced them
with a fancy pair of black boots with golden spurs! Our winged sneak took off
from Lethargio's shoulder quickly as he shrieked in terror, and pondered the
meaning of his words: "I've lost my boots! Where did this multi-colored strung
item come from? Who did this evil deed? Must be a conspiracy!"

The soulful strains of a duet rang across Legend, as our cyan songtress bade
farewell to Llewellyn. The cynical Celtic bard slouched silently off to the
corner, where he now spends his time slacking off.

Our winged warbler was taking a quiet nap at the Silver Branch Inn, when she
was awakened by the unmistakable voice of Fraegis, introducing himself to the
kind Angesley forerunner, Sharri. The two whispered quietly by themselves,
much to the distress of the third party present, the evasive Armand, who
seemed as nervous as the bluebird was boggled. Anxiety was thick in the air,
for no visible reason whatsoever, and our reporter craned her feathered neck
further yet when Fraegis suddenly leaped high into the air and cried out with
glee. Rummaging through his backpack, Fraegis procured what, to the bluebird,
looked like a pale lump of meat which he handed to Sharri. Sharri glanced at
it with a mixture of disgust and disbelief. Fraegis and Armand, not to mention
one blue featherball, keenly observed how Sharri slowly and carefully applied
as much ketchup required to the meat (reputedly a filet of the father of all
vampires) to render it completely tasteless, then quickly gulped it down! A
grin spread slowly over Fraegis' face, and from the conversation that followed
it would appear that Armand and Fraegis had made a friendly wager as to whether
Fraegis could indeed convince the otherwise very vegetarian Sharri to consume
this filet of vampire...

Tis said, claims our bluebird, that knights are sworn to protect the weak, and
even more so the weaker sex. So our winged reporter obviously was a bit
baffled when it came upon the Templar, Tancred, pursuing a quite weak-looking
servant girl through the streets of London. What's to be said to that, except
knighthood obviously isn't what it should be these days.

Our lilliputian levitator watched curiously as the students of Kleinstadt went
on strike. Apparently they want another teacher, as Fraulein Schmidt insists
on starting the class as scheduled, while her students are being slaughtered
one by one.

The prying bluebird, after reading the report on a Modern Marriage in the last
LT, was stunned to discover that Morphine and Jeremy's wedding was followed
only an hour later with a modern Divorce. Our little friend wonders if it had
something to do with the length of the honeymoon. In any case, they just don't
make marriages like they used to.
___                                                                        ___
\  |----------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|      LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World       |__\
   '----------------------------------------------------------------------'
                             A Visit to the Inferno
                                                          
    It was a quiet night when my dear friend Vajrapani came to ask a favor
from me. He had heard of great wisdom lying in the bottoms of hell, and needed
somebody to guide him about. As I never ventured to hell by myself, I was
hesitant, but figuring that there always was a first time for everything, I
agreed. Packing a few herbs and bandages in case things went awry, we rendered
ourselves invisible before entering hell.
    The journey went smoothly, with minor skirmishes with lustful souls which
we dispatched with relative ease. However, being lost, we wandered around the
2nd and 3rd circles of hell, looking for Sen. When we found him, we tried to
look for his minions, but instead, we ran into a three-headed dog. Cerberus
was its name, and it leaped at our throats at the first glance. My attempts to
calm the hideous creature only resulted in it grinning, then going after my
throat again. We fled to the banks of Acheron, and decided to try patching
ourselves up, when Cerberus struck again. I fell, then not long afterwards, so
did Vajrapani. When we returned from the dead, we found Cerberus waiting by
our corpses, and it killed me once again. We screamed for help, but nobody
came. Vajrapani, deciding that my corpse was worth more than his, decided to
lure Cerberus as far out as he could, and his corpse was subsequently lost
further down in hell. As I retrieved my equipment, Leah came to the rescue,
offering to take care of Cerberus. The worst seemed to be over.
    But before we could reach Vajrapani's corpse, the world collapsed, and
everything was lost. Everything Vajrapani had owned disappeared as the world
came back to order. He had saved my belongings by drawing the dog out, but we
could not save him. It was a humbling experience, feeling utterly helpless and
being saved by somebody far junior than myself.
                                        -Warke Ekraw, an old druid.

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
              The McDougan/English, English/McDougan Dictionary
                                     by
        Professor Thrakken, Dean of languages and Certified Insane Chap

McDougan is a horrid, smelly, drunken old fool, commonly known as a Scotsman.
It has been my personal research Goal to learn to translate his garble while
causing the most torture possible, as is the duty of any good Proffessor of
Languages at Legendary University who happens to be English. So, without 
further delay, I will teach you a few of the things I have learned, so I may
keep my professorship.
                              ETHNICITIES

        ENGLISH                         McDOUGAN
        ----------------------------------------------------------------
        Scotsman        | Shcotchman
        Welshman        | thatch nishe weelsh fellaw; weelshmeeen
        Frenchman       | shnail-eatchersh
        Norseman        | bashtrrrrrd
        Spainard        | bashtrrrrrd
        Agrarian        | bashtrrrrrd
        Irishman        | bashtrrrrrd dresh-wearin druid
        Egyptian        | Thatch bloody bashtrrrd shmelly brindal
        American        | Whrrr be thatch? whoot? ye eshpecht me t' believe
                          thatch? I wauld fall oof th' edge o' th' woorld!
        Hittite         | Proobubbubbly a bashtrrrrd
        English         | Wonderful, perfect person I would love to be like 
                          and who everyone should look up to, especially 
                          that wonderful Professor Thrakken!
                              
        OTHER PHRASES                             NUMBERS

Well                | weel                  0       | tree sheep nnd a goat
yes                 | Aye                   1       | un
old                 | auld                  2       | two
Alas!               | Waesucks!             3       | tree
no                  | Nay                   4       | foor
idiotic fool        | clanmatche; shon;     5       | fibe
                      daugtcheer, etc.      6       | shiksh
K (as in 3K)        | myshtich Kay          7       | sheven
revolting garbage   | haggish               8       | aitche
cat youling         | mushich               9       | neen
don't               | dunna                 10      | teen
can't               | canna
know                | ken
know not            | kenna

                           PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES

        Constitution    | coonshteetoosheenal
        Dexterity       | deshtrrritchy
        Mind            | Shoomthing ye dunna need
        Spirit          | th' shpiritch o' th' shcottish (ed. note: UGH!)
        Perception      | blearinesh
        Strength        | Shtreeenth

I hope this allows you to insult him and parodize him with greater ease.
Thank you, me good chaps!

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                             Defending the Faith?
                                       Submitted by Mitra
                                       
    Lately, a new order of knights has risen up, knights who are dedicated to
the advancement of the Catholic faith in the lands of the Heathen. Despite
their truly noble intentions, it was inevitable that certain conflicts would
arise between them and others of Legend's population.
    Pentara, a druidess of Clan Angelsy, peered at Tancred of Nottingham,
looking him up and down. She had long grown tired of the idle threats of this
Christian against the heritage of her people. Despite their claims of virtue,
the Christians wreaked havoc wherever they went, hunting out Druids from every
crevice of Britain.
    'Obviously, mine is not the only Order to be accused of promoting selfish
interests in return for mercy?' Tancred of Nottingham said to Pentara. He in
turn had grown weary of her stubborn refusal to acknowledge the faith of his
cause.
    Meanwhile, the audience settled in to enjoy the show, feasting on buttered
popcorn and passing around the Snowcaps.
    'I shall destroy the pagans, and become rich, for it is my dream to show
my father that first born is not best,' Mondain said to Tancred of
Nottingham.
    Meanwhile, Pentara continued her attack, 'I see even you who pretend to
ignore the earth's power, hold the dropping of a rat in thy hand. You are
using the earth's power, even as you scorn the old ways.'
    Tancred retorted, 'I believe, o ignorant one, that ALL of creation is the
domain and power of the Holy Trinity.'
    Mondain watched with growing frustration-finally he beseeched Tancred 'Let
me spill Pentara's blood upon this earth she so desires.' He glared icily at
her.
    While the rest of the audience was absorbed by the drama before them,
Mitra, a lissome young girl, got out the JuJuBees and began passing them
around, much to the amusement of several members of this otherwise dramatic
occasion.
    Meanwhile, Tancred turned to Mondain, and admonished, 'Young one, sully
not thy hands with the blood of ignorants.' Mondain sighed heavily. Tancred
continued, 'She seekest to sully thy virtue and lead thee into sin.' Still,
Mondain persisted,, 'The ignorant must be slaughtered.. for they are but pigs
grazing in the fields.'
    It was at this point that one of the members of the audience decided to
ask a question. 'What's sin?' she asked, even as Pentara declared 'Ah your
"holy" trinity is nothing but an illusion made by your priests and those who
call themselves holy to deny the power of the earth.' The audience looked
slightly confused as the conversation threatened to veer into two
contradictory directions.
    Meanwhile, a tattooed Welshman finished off the JuJuBees, box and all. He
burped.
    Swiftly and decisively, Tancred regained control, 'Pagans are to be
destroyed, msieur, but it is yon better to convert them,'
    Even more meanwhile, a German Adventurer wondered what 'ignorance' was,
and Pentara attempted to seduce Mondain, who didn't seem to like it overly
much.
    'Perhaps,' she suggested to him, you, pretty one, should join me at the
Beltane fires next year.' Tancred shuddered, and fearing for the safety of
Mondain's soul, admonished him to 'Put thy faith in the cross, msieur, and be
strong.'
    Mondain carefully considered his options and replied to Pentara, 'As long
as you are burning in them.' She growled at him, and a voice from the audience
announced 'that wasn't very nice!'
    Resolutely, Mondain declared, 'I will not convert a soul, but I shall use
force and my will to change them, or destroy them.' He quietly snarled. Even
as, Tancred urged him 'Brother, remember to turn the other cheek,' and to
'Recall that Christ, and not we, shall be the judge,' Mondain turned to the
audience, saying, 'The world is not a nice place is it..?' Pentara, his druid
opponent also explained to them that 'Even we druids have been known to use
force on occasion... but we only do so to defend our lands from barbarian
Christian raiders who would destroy our way of life.'
    'I cannot turn a cheek when I see such evil, and evil shall only be
destroyed, not converted,' Mondain explained to Tancred. Said Pentara, 'Is it
any surprise that I hate the Christians, when they have tried to take my home
and beliefs from me?'
    'Mademoiselle,' Tancred exclaimed, 'It is not we Christians here who
display our foul sorcery, and sully the air with cheap insults!' Pentara
snorted in derision. 'My sorcery is stronger than your Christian faith!'
    'I have no doubt of that!' was his reply, 'The cheap, filthy ways of Hell
are always easier to master!' He turned to look her in the face, 'But it is
thy soul that shall burn in hell eternally, not mine - I trust.'
    Coolly, she replied 'There is no Hell, or heaven, it easy to imagine if
you try...there is only the earth, and the power of the earth.' She sat down
and turned her thoughts to the earth. 'See how the earth sustains me?,' she
asked.
    'And lemming power...' a tattooed Welshman helpfully added.
    Meanwhile, Mondain and the audience debated the lifestyle choices
available to peasants.
    Returning to the main thrust of the argument, Tancred retorted, 'And the
insulting of men of other faiths?'
    'I only insult those foul Christians who have overrun my land with their
barbaric customs!' Pentara replied. She sadly lamented 'Gone are the druid
circles, gone the days of happy druids hugging trees...'
    Tancred blinked. 'Protestant London is thy land? 'Thou art welcome to it -
I care little for Protestants myself.'
    She replied 'I come from a time far off, before the foul curse descended
on these lands... when the Beltane fires burned bright and our circles were to
be found throughout the land. My quest is to erase the deprecations of the
invaders, and return England to its original state.
    Said Tancred, 'I have no doubt that fires burn brightly where thou origins
from.'
    'I do not speak for all of Angesley in my hatred of the Christians...'
Pentara continued, 'I am sure some believe we can coexist.  But my land was
ravaged by the barbarians, and I must avenge it!. She turned to Tancred. "I
will agree to coexist with your Christian faith if you can show me some proof
of its power. Show me this Hell of yours.'
    'Gods power does not need show itself foolish pagan,' Mondain retorted.
    He turned, and resumed his questioning of a German Adventurer and Mitra,
trying to decide whether they were of noble enough blood for him to consider
associating with.
    Tancred of Nottingham says to Pentara, 'And I, mademoiselle, should accept
thy heathen ways if I was to see evidence they were not heathen. Meanwhile,
tempt me not, for it is fruitless' Prove to me that thou art a good servant of
the Lord in heart and soul.'
    The pause was pregnant with silence.
    Then, tearfully, Tancred turned to Pentara, 'Show me some proof'
    'Are you waiting for a sign?,' she asked.
    'I am waiting for thee to prove thy kindness to man,' he told her.
    'Do not try good sir, for she is incapable of it,' Mondain advised
Tancred.
    And thus it came to pass that Pentara produced a sign of the good will of
the Goddess, armor to protect the limbs of the noble Tancred. And he liked it
not, but handed it back to her with a scowl. And so they argued on, even unto
the night and the next day, with no resolution yet in sight, for she would not
back down her cause, and neither would he his, and they parted sworn enemies.
And many questions yet remained, and shall remain until the Goddess or Lord
Christ will it otherwise, concerning the nature of sin, JuJuBees, and the
hygienic habits of Strassendirnen.
___                                                                        ___
\  |----------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|  TWISTYPLOTS: Smooth Curves and Sharp Turns of Legendary Socieites   |__\
   '----------------------------------------------------------------------'
                                 Clan Angesley

        I am only one,
        But still I am one.
        I cannot do everything,
        But still I can do something.
        And because I cannot do everything,
        I will not refuse to do the something that I can.
                Edward Everett Hale -Angesley, just didn't know it ;)

Clan Angesley is a RolePlay clan dedicated to preserving the Natural Balance
of our world, guide and assist the weak, and creating an enviroment in which
all of Gaia's creatures can grow and prosper.  You are encouraged to do what
you can along these lines within the boundaries of the Newbie Helpers (ie:
don't give out quest answers, instead give tips or suggestions on alternate
approaches, etc.)  Our Council Members include Istishia, in charge of the
Apprenticeship program, Jen-Creature, PlayerRelations, and myself, everything
else. Also Alistaire continues to lend his many years of wisdom as our
advisor.

A big congratulations to Tor who has graduated the Apprenticeship program!! He
has been seen wielding those augmented poultices like a madman, and the world
is a healthier place for it!! =)
                                        Go in Peace!   Sharri                             
___                                                                        ___
\  |----------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|         FROM THE WAR ZONE: Information From the PK Front             |__\
   '----------------------------------------------------------------------'
   
Remember when the Legendary Times once included all the clan happenings,
transcripts of battles over chat, and other pkill topics? Well, you'll be
pleased to know that it's going to be a regular feature once again. I've
taken over the job of writing this section, and you can expect it to contain
general pkill events (including roleplay events), interviews, advertisements,
and other information regarding clan activity.
                                                    - Pegasus
                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                           The Clan Classifieds
(The purpose of this section is to allow for clans to post ads regarding new
members and clan services. Also, anyone wanting to join a clan, can place an
ad here as well)
________________________________________________________________________________
| Just to let everyone know: Do you     |                                       |
| have a problem with a certain         |                                       |
| someone? or perhaps a group of people |   The Prophets of Iscariot seek       |
| that wont leave you alone?  Well      |   enlightened beings to join them on  |
| you've come to the right place.  Clan |   their quest for ... well, whatever  | 
| Merc offers PK deals to those with    |   it is they're questing for! Please  |
| some $$.  There is almost always a    |   contact me if interested.           |
| merc online you can ask about our     |   Lust, GM -- Iscariot                |
| prices.  If we aren't just mud-mail   |                                       |
| Me or any of my fellow Mercenaries    |                                       |
| and we'll get back to you.            |                                       |
|  -Onyx                                |                                       |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                              A Grendel Memorial

The Grendels, once renowned for their violent and unjust ways in the pkill
world, have been forced to disband their clan. With only a handful of members
left, and no Guildmaster, they had no choice but to leave. The clan was
deleted and the remaining members had to go their own way. Will there be
another clan like the Grendels? We'll have to wait and see.

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                              News from Shotokai

    For those of you who do not know us, we are a role-play centered pkill
clan here on Legend.  We are an active and growing clan, but somewhat
secretive in our clanned activities. Our web page is finally up at
http://perso.magic.fr/abe/welcome/html, come visit us !
    The Shotokai watched with interest the brief battles between the Knights
and Coven and the Knights and Mercs, but have elected not to involve
themselves in these minor squabbles (so far).
    Quixotic, returned from his long winter in the East studying the dark
arts, challenged Egami for clan supremacy and was vanquished in a swift and
deadly duel.  Despite having great advantages in experience and power, Egami
was dying when Quixotic was forced to flee to sanctuary. Based on his
performance in this and other tests, Quixotic has been elevated to the 2nd Kyu
within the Shotokai hierarchy !
    The Shotokai welcome inquiries from those interested in clanning as an
outlet for roleplay, pkill, or increased knowledge of the MUD.  Please direct
inquiries to Egami by mudmail or ask any members on line with Shotokai in
their title.
                        Thanks, I'll send more next week :)
                                                        -Quixotic
                                    
                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                        The Knights and Mercs Wage War

Things have been heating up between the two clans lately, after a contract was
carried out by the mercs against a knight. The repercussions of this have
stirred up hostilities between the clans, and rumor has it, that the Coven
had something to do with it. The mercs laid down their terms of peace, which
were denied by Sir Arsene, the deputy GM of the knights. Here's the transcript
of what Sir Arsene had to say:

Pegasus: Arsene, could you tell me how this war originated?
Arsene: Ok, me, Tarbash and Morphine are on an xp run with me operating.
        Kinda weird but. Then Coven jumps me and Tarbash and Morphine in
        Salem after we had drubbed Ingersoll. I was in surgeon gear, had just
        finished operating on Morph, and they struck. I fled, changed eq and
        rented and came back, but I had only 200hp left or so, so we ran.
        Morphine just stood there. Things got heated. Diet came on. The Coven
        called Lust in. They ran me to ooc from Tara, and Diet and Tarbash
        came to help and we had it out. They won that. Tarbash rented, then
        we were all at the altar.
P:  So no one had been killed yet?
A:  Beam came in. He was watching, but I called Huma and Coug to take away Lust
    which they did. Arsene shakes his head. No. [Noone had died yet.] Then the
    Coven ran. We were going to trans after them, but they doubled back
    knowing Coug and Huma wouldn't attack Coven so they left Lust out. Then
    they caught us in Nazca and recalled Diet and killed me. Then we tossed
    junk.
P:  Tossed junk?
A:  Talked trash to each other. It was pretty much over. Next day the Mercs
    jump Tarbash with their wolfpacks of impossible odds. And well, we were
    quite miffed. I had told Morphine I would come after them if this
    happened.
P:  And what was her reaction?
A:  Not much dialogue. And of course the rest of the Knights were out to stop
    this and get revenge. Well Kall and Diet and some others ran Onyx and Huma
    to ground a few times. Keyzer started 'helping' us and Thrash too. Diet
    and a couple others beat Morphine and Payne up and they fled.
P:  I've heard rumors about Keyzer causing Kall to be multi'd, is that true?
A:  I'll get to that. All this time we were at it with Coven. Next day Valis
    announces 'the call of the priestess' on chat. 30 minutes later she
    backstabs me in Klein. I had just come from HOL and was beat up and I
    rented out for a few. Then Kall moves into action. Not going for Mercs but
    Valis. After I left, he went for her, but since Onyx might help he gets
    Keyzer. This is kinda funny if you arent Kall. Well Kall has a keyword of
    'one' and Onyx is there too. My guess is that Keyzer got Kall on mistake.
    And then the door got closed. Poi was in there too. His keyword is young
    which is like Onyx's youth. That confused more. But Valis and Onyx and
    Kall are blind closed in the inn. Kall and Valis rent first, I think.
    Valis kills Kall, who had reblinded Onyx. So Onyx rents, I think and after
    Valis kills Kall, Onyx comes in with a Kall attack pretyped. I think, no
    one is sure.
P:  So that's basically how it all started?
A:  Well we weren't mad at the multi. At least I wasnt; knew it was an
    accident. The Valis incident was small. Morphine was just mad about the
    earlier attacks and that one too. So right before the site locked Huma or
    Onyx tells me Morphine had declared war. The night after Tarbash was
    killed, we killed Abigail, 3 on 1, then 3 on 2 when Abigail got justice,
    and Poi was with us.
P:  Why was that?
A:  For jumping us the night before, and we thought that she had hired the
    Mercs. I had told Claudia if she used Mercs, I would, with Diet, call on
    our Secretive friends of the past, and I did. We used the 3 on 1 tactics
    to prove a point.
P:  These tactics aren't condoned by the Knights are they?
A:  No we condemn them, but as long as Morphine uses them against us we will
    use them too, and Abigail had hired them, I thought. So i ended up killing
    her and Justice, whom I didnt want to kill, but it happened.
P:  Did they say much about it?
A:  Yes, after I killed Abigail, I got her to admit on chat she hired the
    Mercs. This led to a big jumping me while I was mobkilling in WW1 and
    killing me kinda easy. Then we got real mad and I mailed Claudia, who was
    trying to start an rp war, that a real war might be coming. Then the site
    locked, I come back on and things are percolating. But me and Kall ended
    the Coven thing with peace. But, as I said, Morphine had declared war. So
    things are now at a point that both sides are going out in wolfpacks
    looking to pounce. We are trying to get help from the other clans to tell
    Morphine her wolfpacks are not a good idea.
P:  When you say wolfpacks, how many does that imply? 3? 4? more? Just to
    clarify this for everyone else.
A:  Basically a wolfpack to me is odds of 3 or more to 1. Then I got Solon,
    whom Firestarter had just tried to do in, and a bit of help from Keyzer
    and we went for her. We chased her from london to her hall and that was
    all that happened tonight. You saw Morph's peace terms?
P:  Yes.
A:  They were an insult basically. Stephen actually tried to get us to vote,
    but me and Kall reasoned thus: We in our code condemn Mercs on general
    principle the whole idea of hired assassins.
P:  Oh, I wasn't aware of that.
A:  That is an rp clash that cant be avoided, but we don't expect them to stop
    killing for money, that is their rp and ooc I respect that. Toranthaz just
    came back on last night and I didnt talk much to him about it.
P:  So the Hermetics haven't played any part in this yet?
A:  Not yet :). They are on good terms with both, and Sinbad didnt want to make
    a move without Toranthaz. They wont fight us and maybe not the Mercs. So
    this is clan, personal and family a bit, to me.
P:  Well, thanks for your time, I'll try and talk with one of the Mercs, and
    hear their side of the story.

Unfortunatly, I was unable to interview a Merc in time.

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that's all for this weeks edition; look forward to seeing a whole lot
more next time. If you have any *interesting* information, or other relevant
material, like letters, ads, suggestions or just general comments, feel free
to mudmail them to me.                  
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Legendary Times is published by the gods of LegendMUD. Please send all
replies/additions to to our address at lt@mud.aus.sig.net for inclusion in the
next edition. We, however, reserve the right to moderate this discussion, and
may object to some submissions.
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