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  .../________________/       running on 9999
VOLUME FIVE, ISSUE EIGHT                              February 2, 1998

                             TABLE OF CONTENTS

                -            The Editor's Note           -
                -      Departmental News and Updates     -
                                NEWS & REPORTS
                -          "Skill Trees" Update          -
                -          New Clan System Q&A           -
                -           Player Housing Q&A           -
                -              Essay Contest             -
                -   Complete the Sentence Game Results   -

                -       Aermid's player has a baby!      -            
                -             Elanor Retires             -
                -          Major Payne Permadies         -
                -      Wednesday & Lemming's Wedding     -
                -       Envy Abandons the Dark Lord      -        
___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                           EDITOR'S NOTE                          |__\

First off, we'd like to apologize for the absence of the LT. Some slight
confusion arose when Petal found herself without access for a period of
time, and no one realized that someone needed to do the LT. Hopefully this
issue will provide some information that's been missing lately.

                           Advice/Cheat Pages

One of the questions that has come up recently has been one concerning the
existance and use of advice/cheat pages regarding LegendMUD. People are
concerned that by using these pages they're cheating, or that other people
using these pages are cheating.

From one point of view, they are cheating. Cheating themselves or others
out of the experience of discovering and learning things for themselves.
From an official administrative view, no, you won't get a warning if you
put up such a page, or if you admit to using such a page.

The only thing we ask of the authors of such pages is to try not to put all
the info out on the front page. The casual surfer may be looking for hints
to a quest, not the whole encyclopaedia of Legend stats. And by providing
them with information overload, you may actually ruin their game experience
and they will become bored with the game much more quickly and leave that
much more quickly.

                         Reporting/Abusing Bugs
On a similar, but much more unpleasant topic, the issue of abusing bugs
instead of reporting them has risen its ugly head again. The Player Code
of Conduct states:
  7. If you find a bug, you must report it by using the BUG command or
     mudmail to an immortal or even email to [email protected] Taking
     advantage of a bug or using it to crash the mud is not permitted.
     (See HELP CHEAT also).
If you know of a bug, report it, don't tell all your friends how to
abuse it. Don't abuse it yourself. If you aren't sure if something may
actually be a bug or not, ask an immortal about it. 
Failure to report a game unbalancing bug or a crashing bug and the
subsequent, deliberate abuse of it is a serious offense against the Player
Code of Conduct and is grounds for deletion of any characters found to be
abusing the bug.

                            New Immortals?

The imps and department heads have once again been attempting to revise and
update the proposal process for new immortals. Once finalized, all immortal
applications will include a generic form and a departmental proposal. No date
has yet been set for when applications will be accepted, but will be announced
well in advance on the welcome board, in the MOTD, and in the LT.

Some rather interesting perceptions about how the immorting process goes
have also some to our attention and we'd like to clarify some things.

MYTH: If I tell all my mortal friends to vote for me, I'll be a shoo in.
FACT: Applications are voted on, but only by the current immortals.

MYTH: My proposal is the best ever! They'll immort me based on it alone! 
FACT: The actual proposal is not the only consideration taken into account.
      Great proposals have been turned down because of other factors in the
      past. Your contributions to the mud as a mortal and how you deal with
      others are also considered.

MYTH: The dept head read my proposal early and said it was great! I'm in!
FACT: Department heads do not have the only vote in the process.

Anyway, that's about it for this editorial. Please send in submissions about
roleplay events you come across or perpetrate to [email protected] to get them

___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                   DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES                  |__\


Finished up their part of the first phase of the new clan stuff, discussed
it, and answered many questions about it. One of the most frequently asked
questions has been, "What about RP clans?!" RP clans as well as new PK clans
will be allowed to form freely when player housing in implemented.

                           PLAYER RELATIONS


Project Mortmud is trucking along quite happily, over 2 dozen people are
working on their areas, and at least 2 have loadable preliminary versions.
April 1st is quickly approaching, but it's not too late to start. E-mail
[email protected] for details.



Alpha    : Mongol Invasion  (Alhazred)    WWII N.Africa       (Breton)
           PonyExpress      (Greyscot)    ViceLima          (Greyscot)
                                          Klein    (Sabella & LadyAce)
                                          Aztecs               (Kaige)
                                          F&I War              (Kaige)

Beta     : The Crusades     (Ladyace)
           Big London       (Leila)

Review   : Dreaming         (Deanna)         
           Anasazi          (Zandy)       
           Pisles/Ithaca    (Croaker)
           Puritan          (Sandra)      

Install  :                                Vikings          (Sandra) 


Congratulations to Snapper who has been promoted to Full Coder for his 
efforts in enhancing the mud code.

Worked on the following areas in the mud code:
 - Fixed the problem with vials grabbing random victims
 - Fixed a few spell messages that weren't appearing correctly
 - No longer able to cast lava flow indoors
 - Fixed a few typos in a few socials
 - Worked a lot on the crashing bug
 - Made break_door stun for a period of time instead of indefinitely
 - Made whois and tell only work with player's names instead of
   description keywords
 - Made tells catch full matches before partial matches in names 
 - Fixes to binding, increasing the chance 
 - Fixes to warcry, made it so somethign wore off
 - Made some progress towards spec'ing out and implementing player housing
 - Made some revisions & updates to TRAP item types and LOCKS.
 - Fixed object cast spells going off in rooms that don't allow magic
 - Added the 'diagnose' command
 - Workd on the new command buffering and linespacing problems.
 - Added config echocommand

___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                          NEWS AND REPORTS                        |__\
                 ----==== "SKILL TREES" UPDATE ====----

Most players on Legend know that the current goal of the coding department
is a large project called "Skill Trees." Skill trees have been worked on
for a few years now. A little while back it was decided that the code was
stagnating and the progress on skill trees was too slow. Players were
wanting updates to the code and skill trees was too far off. At that time
it was decided that skill trees should be broken into a few independant
projects, each of which could be installed seperately.

                      ----==== Ownership ====----       

Ownership was the first of these projects to be installed. The idea was
that players should be able to own certain items. Owned items could only be
picked up by friends of the owner and would last over reboots. The first
use for the ownership code was player corpses. This part of ownership has
been in for a while. The immortal staff still needs to decide how ownership
will work for non-corpse items. The code is basically entirely in place to
add on to ownership as necessary.

                   ----==== New Fight System ====---- 

The old fight system was balanced in favor of one or two types of players.
The main goal of the new fight system was to attempt to balance out the
different type of fighters so that there would be fairly equal numbers of
advantages and disadvantages to each type of fighter while still
maintaining the individuality of each type of fighter.

The new fight system is pretty much completely in with the exception of
some skills which are reliant on skill trees.

                    ----==== New XP Scale ====----            

As most Legend players know, it is much harder for players to get from
level 6 to level 7 than it is to get to any other level. The new xp scale
is a new set of xp requirements for each level which is more evenly
distributed. Getting to level 7 will now be easier than getting to level 8.

The new XP scale has been coded, but due to the nature of it all of the
mobs in the game need to be rewritten to use it. As this is a significant
task it may be a while before it goes in. One change which we may make in
the code when we move over to the new xp scale is allowing mobs to be
anywhere from level -5 to level 100.

                   ----==== Player Housing ====----

With player housing, players on LegendMUD will be able to own houses.
These houses will appear like any other rooms within the game except
that they'll be owned by players. Players will be able to buy locked
doors to their houses so that other people can't get in. Additionally,
players will be allowed to rent out in their houses. The specific
details of what players will and won't be able to do with housing is
not yet known. The immortal staff still needs to discuss many design
issues involved with housing (cost, how one buys and sells houses, just
what players can use houses for, etc.) before the coding can be

We have started laying much of the ground work that will be needed
within the code before housing can go in. For example, it is now
possible for rooms to be created dynamically while the mud is running
rather than needing to exist at the time the mud starts up.

               ----==== Player Pets/Hired Mobs ====----

Pets and hired mobs will allow players to own mobs as pets. Unlike summoned
and charmed creatures pets will have much more of a life of their own.
Guards could be hired to guard a specific item, a carrier pigeons could be
taught to carry messages across the mud. Pets will be able to be named and
taught specific pet-skills. Some pets will rent out while the owner rents
out, while others will stay online (for example, a dog that is guarding a
player's house).

Some simple base work has been done for pets and hired mobs. In order for
pets to work properly many new features need to be added to the area file
language. Many of these features have been added, though there is much work
left to be done.

                    ----==== Skill Trees ====----          

Skill trees are a system for skills where by certain skills will have
pre-requisites to be gotten. For example, in order to learn the "steal"
skill, players will need to have the "sleight of hand" skill.

Skill trees includes many new skills as well as some new branches of skills
(such as the "stage magic" branch).

The code for the trees themselves have been done for over a year. Many of
the supporting code that can't be separated out still needs to be written.
(We still need a bunch more skills, and some other code here or there.)
Additionally, many of the skills need updating for changes that have been
made to the mud since the trees were written.


This is a summary of where we currently stand. As you can see, 2 of the
major components (ownership and fight system) of this project are finished,
while the other 3 major components (housing, pets and the trees) are
partially finished.


                       NEW CLAN SYSTEM: PHASE ONE
                 - Basic Commands & Structure in place -

Q: Until player housing goes in, this is just for the current pkill
A: Until housing, this is all pk only. And the 'form' command
   to make new clans won't be active until then.


Q: Imm's will still clan and unclan people right?'
A: First, we need you to think of those terms "clanned" and
   "unclanned" as "pk-enabled" and "non-pkenabled". But yes, immorts
   will still pkenable people and unable them at 100mil xp if they

Q: Has any consideration been given to taking immorts out of the loop
   to enable pk to begin with? There are cases when we have to wait
   for an immort to come on to clan - would it not be easier to have a
   command to do so?
A: Well, it would be easier, but punishments oftentimes include not
   allowing a player to have a pkenabled character, and we need to
   monitor the one pkiller/player rule. Although pkenabling is
   probably going to be available to more immortals soon.

Q: Regarding the change to permadeath at level 10, is this risk for
   pk-only or for everyone?
A: It's for everyone across the board.

Q: Still a 10 level attack difference though between pkillers, right?
A: Yes. Except GMs.

Q: Looting was taken out because people under level 15 could not be
   killed... with these new changes will steal return back to normal?
A: Well, you can still be killed, no matter what level you are =) But
   no, steal will follow the level limit still.

Q: Even though you can now be perma'd?
A: Yep. Everyone else can be perma'd. And why should stealing be
   different from attacking? Those who are the victim should be able to
   relatiate personally against their agressor in either case.


Q: So, once your pkenabled GMs will be able to change what clan your
   in, without an immort?
A: This is what you'll be able to do: Lets say PlayerA is pkenabled,
   and wants to join clan Iscariot, a PK clan. PlayerA types SEEK
   iscariot. They may also want to contact the current Iscariot GM
   but the Iscariot GM can type RECRUIT and see that PlayerA is
   seeking to join their clan. If after talking to PlayerA, they both
   decide this is a good thing, PlayerA can type SEEK NONE at any time,
   the GM only has to type INDUCT PlayerA and PlayerA is now Iscariot.

   Now the oposite is also true, if PlayerB is Iscariot and wants to
   leave. All PlayerB'll need to do is type 'abandon', and they're no
   longer in that clan.

Q: Is there a level limit to join non-pk clans?
A: There will be a level limit of 5 for forming non-pk clans.
   But no level-limit to join. So a level 1 char can't start an rp
   clan, but could join an existing one.
Q: Pkers can join non--pk clans, but non-pkers can't join pk clans?
A: Pkillers can join either type of clan, non-pkillers can only join
   rp clans. This is to enforce the idea that everyone roleplays, but
   to also provide the pkillers a solid clan of people that can legally
   assist them when they're attacked.

Q: Ok... since non-pkenabled characters can't join pkill clans... will
   I ever be able to join a clan I helped build?
A: Not sure how a non-pkenabled player would be helping to build a PK 
   clan. But as always, you can be associated with a clan, but not a
   true member of it. However, if you acted in a pk-enabled fashion,
   you're likely to find yourself pk-enabled.

Q: If a rp clan has non-pk and pk members, are the non-pk-members of
   the rp clan still governed by the current unclanned rules, i.e, No
   interfering, no healing your clanmates if you're not pkenabled?
A: Very much so. I would disband a clan for that interference. And
   individuals would be forcibly pkenabled.

Q: The 15 player per clan limit is the same for both pk and rp
A: Yes, both types of clans will have the same limits, 5 min, 15
   max. However, both those numbers are adjustable if we find we need
   more members per clan in the future.

Q: Can a given character belong to more than one clan?
A: A single character can only belong to one clan at a time. Whether it
   be rp or pk, that character can only be in one clan. You can be
   'associated' with as many as you want. The one pkenabled character per
   player rule has not changed.
Q: Can we review current members somehow, and is it possible to have
   perks back?
A: You'll be able to get a list of all clans, you'll also be able to
   get a current roster of your clan, including who the gm is at the
   time. As far as "perks" you'll have lots to play with when
   playerhousing gets implemented.

Q: Can you 'seek' more than one clan at the same time? And is the
   'seek' command timed?
A: You can only seek to join only one clan at a time. It's not timed,
   and even saves over rents and crashes.

Q: Can you have one character in a non pkill clan and another one in a
   pkill clan?'
A: You sure can, just like now. We don't limit the players from having
   multiple non-pkenabled chars in rp clans, just one pkenabled char per

Q: So a person can be in a pkill clan and an RP clan..such as Angesley and
   OTS for example.
A: The same character cannot, but the same player may have two
   different characters as members of different clans.

Q: Clans will be automatically disbanded if number of members drops
   below 5?  
A: It'll take 3 reboots/crashes for the clan to be disbanded, but yes,
   it's automatically handled in the code now.


Q: Can you pledge loyalty to yourself?
A: Yes, you sure can.

Q: Just so the GM doesn't have to express loyalty for someone else?
A: Partly, but if you don't like any of the options for GM, you have
   at least yourself.

Q: Can you pledge loyalty to more than one clanmate?
A: No. You can only be loyal to one person at a time.

Q: What happens when more than one person has the same number of
   pledges? Does the clan simply not have a GM until someone changes
   their pledge?
A: In case of a tie between two clan members having the most pledges,
   or in the case where everyone has pledged to themselves, the first
   person in the clan list who has the most in the case of a tie, or the
   first person in the latter case automatically becomes GM until the
   balance shifts it differently.

Q: Will there be any commands to list who is pledged to who?
A: No, you won't know who pledged to who unless they tell you and
   unless they tell you the truth.


                        NEW CLAN SYSTEM: PHASE TWO 
                  - Player Housing & Free-Form Clans -
Players have asked for a rough idea of how far the player housing design
and implementation is. People are beginning to plan for it, so if it's too
far ahead they want to stop doing so - or start doing it if it going to go
in next week. 

Our suggestion is, don't plan anything TOO 


Q: What is the timeline like for the implementation of player
   housing, and the new clan system?
A: Player housing is still in the planning stages. We're not quite
   sure who will do the final implementation, but Rufus is a
   fairly good guess at this point. We're putting together a final
   spec for it and will proceed from there. Phase one, or all the GM
   commands and basic structure of the new clan system is already in.
   Not much beyond the free formation of clans and some refinements
   will be included in phase two.

Q: Will other clan memeber be able to gain access to other clans' halls
   with/out tokens? And if not, can we redo the clan channels to just
   work for members only.
A: Yep, if you didn't set up your house/clanhall well, they'll be able
   to get in. Remember that we finalized how owned mobs/housing is going
   to work, it's hard to say. Clan channels are now only heard by the
   members of that clan. 

Q: Will houses and mobs be yours once you buy them or do you have
   to pay rent for them?
A: They will most likely have an on-going cost associated with them.
   But we'll have more details about that once the spec is finalized.

Q: What types of mobs will you be able to purchase to protect your
   houses...will they be mobs from within the game or a seperate list?
A: That's something that hasn't be finalized yet.

Q: What is going to stop that pkenabled character from running into the RP
   clan's hall?
A: Being a member of it or not? And the protections they have set up?

Q: Are there gonna be physical entry points into clan halls guarded by
A: For the most part, the answer to most housing/clan hall questions
   is going to be "We don't yet know." until we get the spec finalized.
Q: Can you store stuff in houses and if the mud crashes will it stay
   there and can you have furniture like fountains etc etc?
Q: What kinda stuff can u buy for houses?
A: "We don't yet know" =).

Q: Being new to this pkenabled stuff...anyway for clans to store gear or
   what not that'll last a crash and stuff?
A: Not currently.

Q: When player housing goes in, rp clans will be able to buy clan
   halls that have guards etc, just like pk clans, yes?
A: Yep, they sure will. So will individual players.

Q: Will mages can summon mobs to guard the clan hall?
A: It will depend on how hiring mobs will work in the end.


Q: When do rp clans become official?
A: Who's saying they're not official now? They're every bit as valid
   as the rp clans. However in terms of the mud tracking members and
   clan channels and the like, they will become part of the clan
   system of LegendMUD when playerhousing is implemented.

Q: What are the requirements (aside from between 5-15 folks) for
   creating and maintaing a clan?
A: There will be, again when housing goes in, commands such as FORM
   that will enable you to set up your clan. You'll need 4 other
   members beside yourself, to pledge to the clan, and then that
   clan is official. Clan names and keywords have to follow the rules
   for character names, no profanity and no harassment of others.

Q: How long will it take to form a clan (immediately?) and if a clan
   is disbanded, can the same name be used later?
A: Pretty much immediately, and the only additional restrictions on
   clan names is they can't be the same as an existing one.

Q: How do you enforce the 32 clan it essentially just a
   limit to the number of clan halls?
A: It's a hard coded limit in the FORM command. However, we can raise the
   limit if needed. As far as a limit on the number of clan halls,
   when housing goes in, there will be houses everywhere, so we won't
   limit it for that.

Q: So there's no control that we're not ending up with 32 crappy plotted
A: Nope. But I'll give an example of what will get disbanded: There's
   the Knights of Legend clan, and along comes 'the Knights of Legend
   sucks' clan, guess who gets booted? =). Admin will still watch over
   new clans being made, just to watch for silly things like that.
   As far as crappily plotted, well, if they don't maintain minimum
   membership, they won't last long. Which unfortunately may apply to
   some really well plotted clan too.

Q: Can we being making new pk-clans when the commands go in?
   And what if we use all 32 spots before rp-clans are allowed?
A: FORM will be out of use until housing, and there are only 10
   current PK clans. So that leaves 22 spots open right now. When the
   FORM command goes in, yes, it will be a total free for all as to who
   gets their clan made first.

Q: Take the Templars for example, can Tancred (nonpkill) be the GM
   over pkill enabled members? Will this cause problems?
A: If the Templars is an rp clan, yep, Tancred can be the GM over
   pkenabled members. The only problem it would cause is if the
   nonpkenabled members interfered in pk.

Q: Why make a big point then about RP vs PKill clans, since the
   PKillers are supposed to RP too. And what makes a clan RP vs Pkill?
   Whether the majority of members are Pkill enabled?
A: Many people might want to belong to a clan and not be pkenabled,
   that's where the rp clans come in. Pk clans have ALL members pkenabled.

Q: What about those who only want to RP pkill?
A: Then they make a pk clan or just pretend they're pkilling?

Q: You said that a non-pkenabled can be GM over a pkenabled character
   in an RP clan. Since the GM is just based on who has the loyalty,
   that could shift so that the pkenabled character is GM? 
A: Yes, it can shift. The difference between the two clan types is the
   opportunity to be in a clan and not have to be pkenabled. There
   could very well be 32 pk clans, or 32 rp clans, it depends on the

Q: What's the real difference between RP and PK clans? Merely prestige from
   being exclusive? Or will a real difference occur with player housing?'
A: The only real difference between RP and PK clans is that all the
   members of a PK clan are pkenabled.

Q: But you wouldn't have to be pkill enabled in the first place if
   there were RP clans?
A: There are RP clans now that you don't have to be pkill enabled to join.

Q: So essentially, there's no real difference between RP and PK clans
   once the RP clans go in? Other than you have to be PK in order to be
   in a PK clan?
A: Right. 

Q: Okay, can we change passwords frequently, do all 5 have to be online
   at the same time to do that?
A: Passwords, that'll go along with mob ownership/housing, you'll set
   up your hall however you want. But details on that aren't set yet.

Q: If you are making a pkill clan, are you allowed to choose your
   trans mobs and passwd and if so, don't you think tokens will be
   useless as the clan can change mobs/passwds at will?
A: When the form command goes in, trans mobs won't be an issue. Halls
   as people know them now, will be gone when housing goes in. Clans
   will be responsible for buying a house and setting it up themselves
   for their hall. You'll be able to hire mobs to guard them also.


       Myriad 9 -- Stick Becket Uma 7 -- Tuzo Starbiter 6 -- Gareth 5 
           Rictor Ranma Zero Nosferatu 4 -- Gwalchmai Pharooh 3 
                 Ginnety Broekenspring 2 -- Roy Iago 1

                  Congratulations to all who participated!

            /                        \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMUD?|
   (o o)    \________________________/

___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|    LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World     |__\

 -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*-
  Aermid and her husband are the proud parents of a beautiful baby girl.

                           Emily Genevieve

            was born on January 9th, 1998 at 10:15 am
              and weighed 8lbs. 6 oz and was 20" long.

  -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*- -*<>*-

We found this note folded on the doorstep of the LT office one morning:

"Greetings unto the denizens of Legend.  It is with some regret that I
write this, as it was always with regret that I read similar notes by
other people in previous _LT_ issues.  I think the time has come for
Elanor to retire. 

Most of you probably have no idea who Elanor is.  She hasn't spent
much time on Legend during the last year or two, and she was never,
perhaps, indulged enough to grow to her full potential.  She visited
sporadically after my academic and work schedules squeezed mudding
into the corners.  On her most recent visit, she thought she'd find
some snakes in Hell.  What she found was that the corbie had been
relocated slightly since her last visit, and that link-death really is
pernicious.  By the time I had reconnected and enlisted aid, her
corpse and equipment were nowhere to be found.  (Thanks are due to
Stick, Huma, and Xatreka for spending time trying to track it down.)

Lots of people's characters lose all of their eq, yet keep going.  I
think Elanor is retiring because she is -- I am -- simply too out of
touch with how Legend currently works, from long absence and the
inability to spend more time playing.  To give you some idea of
Elanor's concept of Legend -- well, though they probably don't
remember her, she remembers Dagney Rand, Mercenary, and Moira and
Keiko.  (To give you some idea of *my* concept of Legend, Elanor's
brother Rucht was clanned Order of the Scroll by Wraith and first got
help from Eretz when that worthy was still about level 15.  That's
about four rl years ago.)  Not only did Elanor lose some irreplaceable
eq (old-style foil, silver boots, and cloak of midnight, and
old-old-style :) Morrigan earrings, among other things), but I have
little idea anymore what sorts of things I ought to use instead to get
similar effects.  I'd love to reacquaint myself, because some of the
new-to-me areas and people are really neat; I haven't the time.

But maybe you'll see Elanor's little brother Cory occasionally, just
as infrequently -- and at least he's too little to venture into

Warm regards to you all, and good hunting.

--Elanor's player (sharon)"

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               _,.-'^ Major Payne's Last Stand ^'-.,_

After 2 years the mage Krynn began a quest to seek revenge on the man who
stabbed him in the back and permakilled him in another lifetime. His ability
to control his anger finally snapped, and the mage set out on his mission.

[Chat] Santa Claus: HO HO HO! Merry Christmas!
[Chat] Major_Payne: shutup fat man
[Chat] Krynn: how dare you talk to Santa like that!
[Chat] Major_Payne: you shutup weenie, i still have your shoes *cackle*
[Chat] Krynn: i intend to get my shoes back, ugly girl-man!
[Chat] Major_Payne: you want em, come & get some
[Chat] Krynn: dont turn your back on me payne
[Chat] Krynn: you deserved to die when you perma'd me, and you deserve to die

Krynn used his magical prowess to locate and hunt down the elusive Major and
began to close in. Meanwhile, the Major setup an ambush and aimed his rifle 
at the mage of the elements.

[Chat] Krynn: Its over, payne... Your day has come...
[Chat] Major_Payne: has not, i'll live forever buddy
[Chat] Krynn: You insulted Santa, thats the last straw
[Chat] Major_Payne: not my fault he's fat & annoying
[Chat] Krynn: but it is your fault that you're going to die for it
[Chat] Krynn: I intend to banish you from this land, once and for all!

Krynn readied his staff and rushed at the marine, who's rifle turned out to 
be unloaded. After several rounds of brutal combat, a bloodsoaked mage 
emerged from the cloud of dust, injured by triumphant.

[Info]: Major_Payne killed by Krynn.
[Info]: Major_Payne is permanately dead!

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                    Wednesday & Lemming's Wedding

At the stroke of midnight, Ulric pulled back the curtain which separates
man from the realm of spirits, and conjured forth a demon to administer the
unholy sacrament of matrimony. The young lovers, Lemming and Wednesday,
stood still, their hands joined between them as they stood facing each
other. The demon, blacker than night, his eyes red coals, drew forth from
his shadowy robes a long, sharp pin.

They screamed, but did not flinch, as he sunk the pin deep into their joined
hands, intermingling their flesh and their blood. The gathered crowd of
family and friends heaved a sigh of relief, but the screams had drawn the
attention of local residents, who turned their dull eyes to gaze curiously
at the proceedings. The lovers had chosen the Freak Show in the Carnival as
the most fitting location for their union. The rent was inexpensive, and the
cleaning deposit low. But no one had asked the freaks for their permission.
A fakir sat up on a bed of nails, his face full of respect for the intruders.

The demon spoke to Wednesday first. 'Do you wish to take this freak.. forever
in the name of enlightenment.. if so say I do.'

Wednesday said to the demon, 'I do.'

The demon spoke to Lemming. 'Do you wish to take this freak.. forever in
the name of enlightenment.. if so say I do.'

Lemming said to the demon, 'I do.'

The demon nodded, and pulled the needle from their hands. Their blood dripped
darkly onto the sawdust-covered floor of the freak show. The demon said, 'If
so.. drink the vial of poison.. to show your eternal pledge to one another.'
A nefarious demonologist gave Lemming and Wednesday each a vial of opium.
At this turn of events, a dark woman in a black trenchcoat began to cheer
for the nefarious demonologist. Drugs were right up her alley, so to speak.

Lemming sniffed cautiously at a vial of opium. The demon encouraged him,
'Drink it... in enlightenment..'

Lemming and Wednesday quaffed their vials, immediately reeling from the
effects. Lemming shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Wednesday
studied her fingers, wiggling them vacantly before her eyes.

A greater demon said, 'Is there anyone in here.. who objects.. if so state
your opinion?'

The group gazed around at each other, looking for an objection. Seeing none,
the demon said, 'Then I see no reason for this union not to take place..
Lemming, you may sniff your bride..' The couple happily complied.

Then the demon said, 'Take this torch... and burn this tree in the Cult of S
way.' He handed each of them a torch, set alight from his blazing eyes.

The assembled group cried out in delight.  Latissimus said in a carefully
neutral voice, 'Burn, it.' 'In the name of Emlyn, Burn baby Burn!' a tanned
blonde surfer says. Stick yelled, 'Baurn the witch, baaauuuurn! Umm...tree.'
'DESTROY!' a tanned blonde surfer exclaimed.

Sharri, famous for her defense of trees, walked in from the south.

Again the group cried out in delight, this time louder. A fellow worshipper
of the Great Camel threw his head back and cackled with insane glee!
Wednesday throwed her head back and cackled with insane glee!  A dark woman
in a black trenchcoat loudly yelled, 'Burn Sharri!'  'BURN SHARRI!' a tanned
blonde surfer said, 'FOUL ANGESLEYS!'

Sharri looked at the dark determination in the Cultists' faces. Filled
with fear, she panicked, and attempted to flee.  A cruel gleam in his eye,
Bonus said to Sharri, 'What an opportune time to arrive...he's just about
to burn the tree.'

Looking confused, Sharri cried out, 'But I got an invtation!'

A dark woman in a black trenchcoat was not interested in such details. With a grin, she said, 'Tie sharri to the tree. Then burn the tree.'
She turned to Sharri, and said cheerily, 'You're the sacrifice.'

Lemming protested, 'It's true, I did invite the treehugger...'

The demon intervened. 'Since Sharri is here.. I'd like her comments on this
union, then I will hand out fruit to pelt her with afterwards.'

Sharri smiled with relief. Smiling, she said, 'I know Wednesday, while
strange, is of good heart... and Lemming is just too stupid to fear, so
they have my blessing.' Latissimus clapped for Sharri approvingly.

The demon handed out various fruits, but the attention of the mob had already
been drawn elsewhere -- to the prospect of food. The demonologist began
to conjure up food, while the group raced to the site of the reception --
the Moon, of all places. It was laid out beautifully, with pears, oranges
and champagne, all scattered with moondust. The guests clustered around
the guestbook to sign in and record their best wishes for the happy couple.

'Since I've been asked to be Lemming's best man, I'd like to say a few words,'
Stick said. 'When I first came here, I was pretty lost...For a while, I was
dragged around by McDougan, giving me a strange perspective on this place.
After a while, however, I came to the modern era, where I found a strange
couple. One of them was some sort of blue-haired freak and the other a
small rodent...' He paused.

Stick said, 'Anyway, to make a long story short...they were a fine couple,
and after I had gotten to know them, it almost broke my heart to see them
leave. And now they're even married!!'  

'SO CHEERS DAMMIT!"' Stick cried.

The guests toasted the happy couple, and began to issue their best
wishes. Tank, Wednesday's brother, pulled Lemming aside. 'Take care of her,
or I'll find a way to hurt you,' Tank said, to which Lemming replied 'I have no doubt.'

Satisfied, Tank loudly yelled, 'A toast! To my sister, and her new husband!'

Two members of the party were unwilling to fully devote themselves to this
merry-makinng, however. Ulric and Sharri were at each other's throats. Ulric
poured his champagne down Sharri's robes. Sharri tossed her champagne in
Ulric's face.

The mood of the party changed.

A nefarious demonologist said wickedly, 'I say we burn Sharri at the stake to
consecrate this wedding!' The demon moved in close to seize the druidess.
Sharri said, apparently drunk, to a greater demon, 'Gegg off mee...'
Sharri tried to push the demon away from her.

'Shes drunk.. we can burn her now!' a nefarious demonologist cried.
All Sharri could do was hiccup. Amid drunken cries of 'Burn her!' the party
dragged her off to Salem.

Although unable to resist her captors, Sharri remained defiant.  'You are
just a plaything of Ulric's, you pansie,' Sharri said to the demon.

The demon was unmoved. 'So?'

Sharri said to a greater demon, 'I pity you, is all.'

A greater demon replied, 'Now, you're Ulric's plaything too.'

'He is nothing...' Sharri said 'A fool. I am mearly along to make sure you
kids dont get into trouble.'

Lemming cackled with glee. 'I invited you cause we need a cook out.'

Sharri sniffed sadly.  A dark woman in a black trenchcoat said to Sharri,
'Don't worry, we're taking you to hug a tree.'

'Just you're going to be hugging it REALLLL tight, and tied to it,' she
went on, 'And then it's going to burn.'

A nefarious demonologist said to Sharri, 'We have you now.. .'

Squirming mightily, Sharri was able to break free, and ran away out of
sight. But Ulric whispered something to a solemn-looking local man, who
rushed away after her.

All eyes turned to watch as Sharri is taken, in shackles, to the stocks in
town, to be burned at the stake for her crimes.  Joseph Hutchinson removed
the shackles from Sharri as he guides her to the pole in the center of
the platform.

Joseph Hutchinson said to Sharri, 'If ye have something to say, t'would be
best to do so now. Perhaps beg for forgiveness and hope that He listens.'
Joseph Hutchinson tied Sharri to the pole, grabbed a torch and lit the
kindling at her feet.

'I am not a witch,' Sharri says to Joseph Hutchinson.

The crowd called up encouragement to Hutchinson. A dark woman in a black
trenchcoat yelled up to Joseph Hutchinson, 'She's a witch! She turned me
into a newt!' Stick called out, 'And me into a twig!'

A voice rung our above the crowd, angry and powerful. 'A life is
precious!' the peaceful old wizard said. 'Do not take it!' It was Kai. He
turned to Ulric, imploring, 'You must do something to stop it!'

Pain marked Sharri's face as the smoldering fire at her feet causes her skin to

'No... she must burn..' a nefarious demonologist said, with an evil grin. 
Bonus covered his eyes with his hands. The crowd cheered.

'I hearby dedicate the death of Sharri to you.. and your lovely wife..' the
nefarious demonologist said to Lemming. Sharri shuddered.

Kai appealed to Hutchinson, 'A life is to precious to take upon the word
of strangers.'

The crowd drowned him out. Morphine cried, 'Burn the treehugger!'
Latissimus sad to Joseph Hutchinson, 'Do it!'

Sharri screamed in agony, the flames rising slowly around her.
Joseph Hutchinson said to Sharri, 'God's mighty hand strikes ye down. Burn in
Hell, witch.'

The crowd watches in awe, overcome with fear, as Sharri is slowly engulfed by
the fire. Fear overtakes the crowd, as each one wonders their own fate. Sharri
screams one last time, then all is silent...

Sharri's death cry rings from the trees.

Suddenly, there is a flash of blue green light, and Sharri, fully healed, steps out of a crack in the sky and into their midst. She smiled.  

'My work here is not done. I want you all to know, you will pay for that,'
Sharri said.

'Uhoh,' a dark woman in a black trenchcoat said.

Sharri said to the nefarious demonologist, 'You have gone to far this time,
pretty boy.'

A peaceful old wizard said to Sharri, 'I am so sorry, I tried to help.'

Sharri, her eyes full of implacable vengeance, turned to the nefarious
demonologist. 'Ill be back for you one day...'

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Recently we found a parchment tied with green ribbon on the LT editor's desk
which reads:

After spending several days meditating on my beliefs and future, I have
decided to leave the Anti-Paladins. It is nothing against my former
brothers and sisters, I have just found the Dark Lord's wishes to clash with
my own. I also realize the great power and wisdom of the Goddess and now
seek a place among the brave women who serve her. Until I am honored with
acceptance into their clan, I will fight alone as a Rogue.

Envy - reborn

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