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VOLUME SEVEN, ISSUE SEVENTEEN                              August 2nd, 2000

                            TABLE OF CONTENTS
                            Calendar of Events

                             NEWS & REPORTS

               Reminder: Austin LegendMEET 2000: Hotel Info
                       Cenja Gets Her Groove Back 
                     Friends and Family RP Workshop
                     LegendMUD Connection Analysis


                   Imperial Tournament: An Invitation
                            Conspiracy III

___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                    UPCOMING CALENDAR OF EVENTS                   |__\

[All times are system time unless otherwise specified]


                 LegendMUD Summer Odyssey continues...
              A monthlong celebration of the Industrial era.

        Thursday, August 3 at 7:00 pm      Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
                                           Subject: Immortal Applications 
        Friday,   August 4 at midnight     Industrial Flag Hunt
        Saturday, August 5 at 4:00 pm      Imperial Tournament, hosted by
                                           the Knights of Legend
        *Sunday,   August 6 at noon        Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
                                           Subject: Immortal Applications 
                                             ** Special Day/Time for **
                                               ** Non-US timezones **
        Tuesday,  August 9  at 8:00 pm     RP Workshop: Friends and Family
                                           Featured Speaker: Lirra   
        Thursday, August 10 at 7:00 pm      Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
        Saturday, August 12 at noon        "Darwin" Recalltag -- skills and
                                           spells allowed 
                            at 1:00 pm     Trivia Challenge: Modern History

___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                        NEWS AND REPORTS                          |__\

             Immort Application Forms are available from 

                    Immort Proposals are Due September 1


               Reminder: Austin LegendMEET 2000: Hotel Info

Just a reminder that reservations need to be made by August 4th, 2000 to get
the special group rate for the Austin LegendMeet for the weekend of August
18-20th. Also, if those of you who have already made reservations or are
local and are planning on coming could drop me a note I'd appreciate it!

Please call 1-877-203-0174 (this is a toll-free call) to make your own
reservations before August 4th, 2000.

Be sure to tell them you are with the LegendMUD group to get the special flat
rate of $59 (+tax) a night:

The $59 flat rate is for 1-4 people per room and that includes breakfast.
Other amenities include an outdoor pool/jacuzzi, free parking, data ports on
the phones, coffee makers in the rooms. The hotel is newly rennovated and
they have both smoking & nonsmoking rooms available.

We have blocked out a total of 10 rooms to start with. There are 5 smoking
and 5 non-smoking rooms. But if we need more of either or just more in
general it's not a problem at this early date.

Checkout is set for Sunday but, if you need to come early or leave later,
just let them know that as well.

There are many other hotels/motels in the area. You can search someplace like if you'd like, but this was by far the most helpful and one
of the best values I found.

Hope to see you there! If you've got questions, drop me a note.



                     Cenja Gets Her Groove Back

There once was a blonde named Cenja.  Cenja lived in a happy-go-lucky land
called LegendMUD.  Well, okay, it wasn't so happy-go-lucky.  People were
sometimes mean to each other and there were a lot of monsters that would kill
you and eat your body and steal all your clothes if you weren't looking,
which could be a total bummer.  But anyway, Cenja was totally happy at
Legend.  She knew a lot of really super spiffy people and had lots of
friends.  She was always really amused by the people at Legend, for lots of
them were funny and smart.  Some were even both funny and smart.  Legend had
these way-cool channels to listen to and talk to if you wanted, which was
groovy.  She would listen to the people talk on these channels and would
laugh and laugh.

One day, Cenja was listening to the people talk when someone said a bad
word.  There was a lot of snickering in response to this bad word.  Cenja
even snickered, because she is, like, totally okay with bad words.  The next
day, Cenja listened to a long talk about drugs.  Some people were into pot,
others into other stuff that Cenja didn't really know all that much about.
She didn't snicker this time, but ignored it.  No big deal, really.  Cenja
was okay with people talking about drugs, although worried that they were
actually doing the drugs.  Then a few people jumped in and started talking
about adult things that, like, totally can't be discussed here.  Cenja wasn't
so sure about this, but she didn't say anything.  People can say what they
want to, she thought.  No big deal.

The next day, people talked about drugs and stuff in front of Cenja again on
the channels.  She frowned at this and wondered why people talked about drugs
all the time.  Cenja totally wanted to be cool, but she was taught that drugs
were bad and stuff.  Plus, she was kinda tired of hearing about the drugs
again and again.  She was getting a headache from all the talk about pot and
stuff.  So Cenja said something about it, suggesting that they, like, find
something new to talk about.  Cenja was kinda offended at all this drug talk
because it was really bogus.

The people weren't happy with Cenja.  They wanted to talk about drugs.  Cenja
was totally miffed, but pointed out that there were other things worth
talking about.  You know, like the weather, books, music and stuff.  But the
people didn't like what Cenja was saying.  They said that if she didn't like
what they were saying, she should just not listen to the channels.  This was
just not cool because Cenja thought the channels were for everybody to
enjoy.  Some people didn't like her statements so much that they totally
dissed Cenja and called her a ``liberal fascist!''

Cenja was soo bummed out about this.  She wanted to listen to the channels
too.  She pouted and thought about what a ``liberal fascist'' was.  She
didn't know really what that meant, but it sounded totally bad! She wanted to
prove that she was still cool and stuff, but how?  She thought and thought
and thought until her thinker hurt something awful.  Finally, she decided
that she'd go talk to the Wise Dude and find out what this ``liberal
fascist'' stuff meant.  Cenja put her so-cute daughter, Gwajeth, into a baby
backpack, slung her on her back, and wandered off to find the Wise Dude.

The Wise Dude lived outside a German village named Kleinstadt.  He lived in a
little hut made of tree branches and mud because he just really liked it.  He
wore cool sunglasses and sat around thinking up really cool, wise things to
say.  He had long brown hair and didn't believe much in haircuts.  He was
still cool though, `cause you don't have to have haircuts to be cool.
Anyway, he was happy to see Cenja because she brought him a big apple pie.
You have to bring wise dudes presents if you're gonna ask them questions,

``So, Cenja, why are you here?''  the Wise Dude asked in a big, booming voice.

``I need to know what a `liberal fascist' is, Wise Dude.  I want to listen to
the channels like everybody does.''  Cenja told him all about her little
adventure with the drug people.

``A wha?  I dunno what that is.  Lemme look it up.''  So Wise Dude rummaged
through his old backpack, searching for the answer.  He began to mutter and
curse quietly to himself, not finding what he was looking for.  Finally, he
brought a big, yellow book out of his backpack.  This book was called a
``thesaurus.''  It wasn't a dictionary, but the thesaurus was totally cool in
that it had dictionary definitions in it too. 

``Hmmm... It says here that liberal is an adjective.  Cool.''

``No kidding, Wise Dude.  I need to know what it means.''

``Oh, groovy.  Says here that liberal means open-handedness, generous.''

``Oh neat!  That's a good thing!  What's the other word, fascist?''  Cenja

``Oh, yeah, I'll look that up.''  Wise Dude flipped through a few pages. ``Oh,
here.  It says here it was a political movement.  Says it has a centralized
government that has a dictatorial leader.  Oh, it also says it's a tendency
towards strong autocratic or dictatorial control.''

Cenja thought about this.  She felt more than a little confused and frowned.
It, like, totally didn't make sense.  Her head started to hurt.

``Wise Dude, how can someone be open-handed and generous but dictatiorial at
the same time?''  Cenja tilted her head to one side and looked at the Wise
Dude, hoping for help.  ``Dictators aren't generous.''

``I dunno.  Doesn't make any sense to me.  Oxymoron.  Thanks for the pie,
Cenjie, you're totally groovy.''

``Why would someone call me something that doesn't make sense like that?
That's, like, totally bogus.  And mean too.''

``Bogus, yeah.  The channels are for everybody and people who say otherwise
just aren't groovy.''

Cenja nodded.  Maybe some people just aren't groovy.


                   Friends and Family RP Workshop

On Tuesday, August 8th, at 8pm EST Lirra will be hosting a Friends 
and Family Seminar. This seminar will focus on gaining helping 
players gain various ties and relations to other characters on the 
game, as well as help them work out minor details of their 
character's past. The seminar starts out with a short lecture, and 
will then move into a workshop where players discuss different 
aspects of their character's lives, and how others might be able to 
gain ties to that character, either through business references or 
other sorts of roleplay experience.


                   LegendMUD Connection Analysis

                      Peak Mortal Players 56
                       Average Peak was 47
                   Peak PKOK Enabled Players 26
            Pkok enabled Characters represent approximately
                       45% of active players.

The first two tables below show the Average Mortal Players and Average
PKOK Enabled Players connected to Legend by hour of the day as polled
approximately on the hour system time during the period noted above.
The third table shows the same averages calculated by the day of week.

              hour  0  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9 10 11
              avg  32 32 28 22 18 16 15 14 16 21 22 26
              pke  15 16 15 12 10  7  5  4  6  7  8  9

              hour 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
              avg  30 28 32 32 31 37 39 34 38 37 37 36
              pke  12 10 13 13 14 14 17 15 16 15 17 17

              day   MON  TUE  WED  THU  FRI  SAT  SUN
              avg    28   28   28   29   29   29   28
              pke    12   12   13   13   13   13   12

            /                        \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMUD?|
   (o o)    \________________________/
___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|    LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World     |__\


                Imperial Tournament: An Invitation

A young boy in a red and black uniform rode up to the window of the Legendary
Times office and shouted:

  Hear ye, hear ye! I hold here an open invitation to all persons of name
  from the Emperor Frederick and his champions, the Knights of Legend! Beyond
  the walls of Kleinstadt, an Imperial Tournament shall grace the grassy
  fields.  Let all with skills of arms come forth to contest, and stand for
  the glory of their houses. Let all those with hearts inclined to cheer and
  merriment come forth to witness the event. Let everyone gather on August
  the 5th, at 4 o'clock!

                               *  *  *

Congratulations to Ranara and P-Bliz, who were wed on August 2nd in a private
evening ceremony.

                               *  *  *

                              Clan News

The RP clan 'The Knights of the Dark Circle' has formed. There are currently
21 RP clans and 11 PK clans available for players to join.

For more information on clans, try the following commands:


Diary notes by Lord Marcel Alexander of the Seven Circles

Ireland, somewhere south of Kilkenny, June 23, 489 A.D.

I observed the most curious incident earlier this week. I was minding 
my own business drying my clothes at a roadside inn - it was raining 
cats and dogs outside - when a group of people caught my attention by 
means of their loud argument.

One of them was a Grecian looking fellow. It was easy to tell that he 
was not native to the region of Kilkenny in this early age - not only 
did he wear clothes that marked him as totally out of place, he also 
carried a fairly large gun. He was waving his arms at another fellow, 
asking him if he thought he could run fast enough to get away if the 
first guy was to fire a volley of lead in his general direction.

The other fellow, the one being threatened, I did recognize. He was 
Lugh, the Celtic Sun god, - not a half bad fellow, really, though he 
tends to get himself caught up in all sorts of strange adventures and 
quests to end the reign of darkness, or whatever. Being a true Irish, 
all he said was, "Try me."

Need I say that Strife tried?

The local townsfolk were - obviously - throwing themselves right and 
left, trying to avoid what they believed to be the dark sorcery of 
Strife's firearms and calling upon half a dozen Celtic deities in 
addition to Christ to protect them. I noticed a gaunt-looking girl 
calling herself Harlequin cheering Lugh on heartily, calling him 
father. No big surprise, really, the Celtic gods know a thing or two 
about having fun - in that respect they're a wonderful brawling and 
love-making bunch. Who knows, maybe Lugh will get luckier with this 
kid than he ever was with Cuchullain.

Well, I did the sensible thing when Sun gods and Grecian avatars of 
all things mean and nasty begin to throw insults and then pieces of 
household tools after each other; I sat down beneath my table and 
watched the show.

Strife got out of there with his Olympic butt in one piece; Lugh must 
have had a bad day or something. In any case, what really  made me 
pay attention - besides the flying tableware and the hot lead - was 
the way the locals quickly shrugged the brawl off as if it had never 
happened. A few minutes after Strife and Lugh were out the door, no 
doubt chasing each other all over Kilkenny, it seemed as if nothing 
had ever happened. The barmaid was cleaning the table; the innkeeper 
stood around like a stout patriarch talking to his guests; the good 
farmers and craftsmen were dicing and swapping stories. An old man 
was snoring in the corner by the fireplace.

Just a few scattered plates on the floor hinted that moments before, 
the gods were duking it out in this quiet little roadside inn. I 
marvel at the human ability to ignore the supernatural, even when it 
crawls up to punch them in the face.

Legendary Times is published by the immortals of LegendMUD. Please send
all replies, additions, or corrections to our address at [email protected]
for inclusion in the next edition. We, however, reserve the right to
moderate this discussion, and may object to some submissions.
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