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VOLUME NINE, NUMBER NINE                                      March 2, 2002

                             TABLE OF CONTENTS

                             The Editor's Note

                           NEWS, REPORTS, UPDATES
                             Calendar of Events

                       Website Character Pages Wanted

                               Recent Updates
                             Recent Q&A Topics
                       LegendMUD Connection Analysis
                            DID YOU KNOW: COLOR

                      Spellcasting Contest Mar 23 8pm!
                           Scavenger Hunt Results
                                 Clan News
                       The Begining....Enhanders Past
                               A Tragic Event
                           A Surprise for Cahira
                              Me brudder Jarge
                             Godless Wanderings
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                        The Editor's Note                        |__\

It's recently come to my attention that several people are uncomfortable
with the way a few characters have been acting lately. Actions cited were
excessive sexual innuendos, excessive demeaning socials in passing, and
repeatedly taking an RP too far without making sure others involved were
comfortable with it.
This seems to be completely on the ROLEPLAY front, not something out of
character, but something that is quite unnecessary and shouldn't have to
be tolerated here if everyone is here to have a good time.
It upsets me that none of the people that were experiencing this problem
came forward to with it to the immort staff just left altogether or gave
up on the character that was having the problems. If someone brings up a
problem like this to you, please suggest they speak to an admin about it.
We do not log everything, there's no feasible way to do so. And despite
accusations to the contrary, we do take any accusations like this
seriously. If a problem is reported we can then intervene, but we're not

The above post to the welcome board is not/was not intended to dampen the
spirit of RP. It was to address two things: 1) A few people out there are
being rude enough (through their RP) to others that they are leaving the
mud. and 2) People aren't bringing these problems to the admins because
they're too embarassed or feel it's too minor to bring to them.

Nowhere was anything said about everything needing to be scripted or
discussed in advance or kept to yourself, but there are some common
courtesies that should be observed by everyone.

If you're asked to drop something, drop it. Don't keep badgering people
about it or go ahead and do it anyway. Think about how you (the player)
would react if you had asked someone to stop and they kept it up. Would
you be angry, upset, annoyed? Then it's probably not a good idea. Look at
what annoys you, then don't that to others. This doesn't just go for RP.

If what you are about to do will have a serious affect on the other
person's roleplay, then yes, you should talk about it with them. There's
nothing less fun than having a huge surprise dumped in your lap and having
to live with someone else's decision about your character.

We don't have a roleplay culture so strict that you can't even say you hit
someone else without them accepting it. Many MUSHes out there require you
to emote, "Boffo takes a swing at Buffy." and then Buffy gets to decided
if she was hit, she dodged or whatever. Now, that would suck for pkill,
huh? But seriously, while RP is a give and take situation, everyone
involved should have the same opportunity to have fun with it.

A couple other points to remember whether your roleplaying, pkilling, or
just running around hacking and slashing at stuff: 

If you ask someone to help you with something and they either don't answer
or say sorry, they're busy, try not to take it personally. The worst thing
you can do is to be nasty about it. It could be any number of reasons why
the person didn't see your request or were already busy with something
else. Repeating that your bored over and over also kinda falls in here.
Don't be subtle. If you want to be entertained, come up with something
that's entertaining and try to get others to join in on the fun!

Also, going around saying, "I suck, I'm no good at this" isn't going to
win friends but will influence people, just probably not the way you want.
Always fishing for compliments and whining about how no one ever wants to
play with you because you suck is a sure way to make that come true.

Trying guilt trip people because they won't help you or play along with
you also probably won't work and has the possibly to backfire and cast
yourself in a bad light as a whiner and a complainer. If someone keeps
turning down your in character approaches, try asking them in a nice,
polite, ooc manner why. They may or may not respond, but taking it out on
them in game isn't the answer either.

Also on the topic of roleplay etiquette, I posted several roleplaying
links on the mac in the OOC Library, the most intersting one was "The
Science of Roleplay" at It was
written in 1996, but it's all still relevant.

As always the best rule to follow is the Golden Rule - Do unto others as
you would have them do unto you. This works amazingly well in RL, RP, and
even in PK.

___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                   LegendMUD Calendar of Events                  |__\
            [All times are system time unless otherwise specified]

                 */* *\*  */* *\*  March  */* *\*  */* *\*

Friday,    March      1st   midnight          Immortal Apps Due
Wednesday, March      6th   9:00 pm           Scavenger Hunt!
Thursday,  March      7th   6:00 pm           Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
Wednesday, March     13th   9:00 pm           Scavenger Hunt!
Thursday,  March     14th   6:00 pm           Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
Sunday,    March     17th                     St. Patrick's Day
                            7:00 pm             Irish Casino
Wednesday, March     20th                     First Day of Spring
Thursday,  March     21st   6:00 pm           Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
Saturday,  March     23rd   8:00 pm           Skar's Spellcasting Contest
Wednesday, March     27th   9:00 pm           Scavenger Hunt!
Thursday,  March     28th   6:00 pm           Q & A in the OOC Auditorium
Sunday,    March     31st                     Easter Sunday
                             Join us for a day-long Easter Egg Hunt!
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|            LegendMud Website Character Pages Wanted             |__\

Just a reminder, as part of the overhaul of LegendMUD's web site, the
character pages ( have
been trimmed down to only those with active links. The list is fairly short
now. If you have a web page devoted to your character or clan let us know
about it. Email with the link and a short (1 or 2
sentences) bio or summary and I will get them added.
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                          Recent Updates                         |__\
    /\                         CODE UPDATES
   /  \     
  /    \    Misc Changes
 /_    _\     o  at|to|with   (See also HELP
   |  |         TALK)
   |  |       o dream messages are sent a lot less frequently
   |  |       o catalog short command to show only the contents of the
   |__|         current room
    /\        o catalog command now shows the total cost of the items at
   /  \         the end of the list
  /    \      o new say alts: cry, scold, argue
 /_    _\     o eyepoke is now after eyeroll and eyebrow so that "eye"
   |  |         does an eyeroll again
   |  |       o hush social (displays no message to the room so that it
   |  |         doesn't add to the spam)
   |__|       o salute   now has a message
    /\        o ignore self now has a message
   /  \     
  /    \     Bug Fixes
 /_    _\     o catalog now shows the contents of containers and bags
   |  |       o furniture shows up with a cost of 0 in catalog
   |  |      
   |  |      Typo Fixes
   |__|       o "eerie" typo in control weather
    /\        o curse person no longer has only two periods at the end.
   /  \       o misc. typo fixes in socials
  /    \    
 /_    _\   
   |  |                        HELP FILE UPDATES  
   |  |      
   |  |     The following helpfile was recently updated:
    /\        General Info: MOODS, MULTIPLAYING
   /  \      
  /    \    Thank you to all the players & imms who assisted in this update! 
 /_    _\     
   |  |     
   |  |                          AREA UPDATES
   |  |     
   |__|     If you want to suggest specific improvements or new additions  
    /\      to existing areas please don't hesitate to submit them with
   /  \     the idea/bug/typo commands or drop mudmail to the builder
  /    \    responsible for the area (check AREAINFO to find out!)
 /_    _\   
   |  |                       Installed Area Updates
   |  |     
   |  |     ARABIAN NIGHTS
   |__|          Travelling in the desert is better at night than during
    /\           the day. Various bugs and typos fixed.
   /  \     CELTIC IRELAND
  /    \         Fixes locks on doors all over the place so the right
 /_    _\        keys work on them on both sides. Various bugs and typos
   |  |          fixed.
   |  |     FRENCH & INDIAN WAR
   |  |          The beluga will try to go home if he gets beached for
   |__|          too long. Various bugs and typos fixed.
   /  \          New merchant. Be sure to consider the Turks before
  /    \         killing them. Siroq shouldn't blow indoors any more.
 /_    _\        Various bugs and typos fixed.
   |  |     MELBOURNE
   |  |          More fixes for bushrangers, locks can be bought by bank
   |  |          transfer Attempts to fix the punts building up. Various
   |__|          bugs and typos fixed.
   /  \          Mephistopheles changed again -- be careful!! Doormen
  /    \         dressed.
   |  |          Gern-y-fain is a bit tougher. Morgawr's special
   |  |          messages to others, but also has logical consequnces.
   |  |     SAN FRANCISCO
   |__|          Should stop the spamming loops with greetings. Various
    /\           bugs and typos fixed.
   /  \     SHERWOOD
  /    \         Robin's men should be more likely to assist when called
 /_    _\        upon. Richard changed again. Be careful if you attack
   |  |          him! Some new stuff added to the Butcher in Lincoln.
   |  |          Various bugs and typos fixed.
   |  |     SOUTH SEAS
   |__|          Be very careful when approaching the pirates around
    /\           this area. They've all seen some changes. Various bugs
   /  \          and typos fixed.
  /    \    TUDOR LONDON
 /_    _\        Adds a lost and found box and table to the inn Various
   |  |          bugs and typos fixed.
   |__|          Various bugs and typos fixed.
    /\      THE OOC LOUNGE
   /  \          Yelling in the Dusty library is considered rude. =)
  /    \    
 /_    _\   
   |  |                    In Progress Area Updates
   |  |     
   |  |     This section is intended to let everyone know what builders
   |__|     are working on behind the scenes. It is not a perfect record
    /\      of progress as all builders will not make updates every week.
   /  \     Players badgering builders about progress or a perceived lack
  /    \    thereof will be flogged. Remember, the longer spent answering
 /_    _\   questions, the longer the project takes to complete.
   |  |     
   |  |             Kae          Larderello (Dante's Hell)
   |  |             Kaige & Ptah 1950's Americana
   |__|             Straussy     R. M. S. Titanic
  _______   ____    _______
 /  ___  \ / __ \  /  ___  \  Logs of Q&A sessions are available on the
 | /   \ | \ \/ /  | /   \ |  web pages for those who are unable to attend
 | |   | |  \  /   | \___/ |  or had to leave early. The most recent ones
 | |   | |  /  \/\ |  ___  |  are listed on the sitemap page or you can
 | | /\| | / /\  / | /   \ |  get a complete list on the Q&A index page
 | \_\ \ | \ \/  \ | \   / |  at the url below.
  \___\/_/  \__/\/ \_/   \_|

                              RECENT TOPICS

 o Weather and Control Weather       o Walls and Detect Illusion
 o New Areas?                        o Non-proficiency Weapons?
 o More Second Attack Objects?       o New Sex Change Mob?
 o Ideas & Area Maintainers 


                    LegendMUD Connection Analysis
                            February 2002

                       Peak Mortal Players 64
                         Average Peak was 51
                    Peak PKOK Enabled Players 47
             Pkokenabled Characters represent approximately
                       54% of active players.

                   Peak Accept All Characters 10
             Accept All Characters represent approximately
   8% of all active characters and 16% of active pkok enabled characters.

The first two tables below show the Average Mortal Players,  Average
PKOK Enabled Players, and the number that were "Accept All" connected
to Legend by hour of the day as polled approximately on the hour
system time during the period noted above.

The third table shows the same averages calculated by the day of week.

              hour  0  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9 10 11
              avg  36 32 30 25 20 17 15 17 18 21 24 26
              pke  20 17 15 12  9  6  6  6  8 10 11 13
              aas   4  3  3  2  1  0  0  0  1  1  1  1

              hour 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
              avg  29 31 34 37 39 40 40 40 43 42 40 38
              pke  15 18 19 22 23 23 23 23 24 24 23 22
              aas   2  2  3  3  3  3  3  3  4  4  4  4

              day   MON  TUE  WED  THU  FRI  SAT  SUN
              avg    32   28   29   30   30   32   32
              pke    17   15   16   17   16   17   17
              aas     2    2    2    2    2    2    2

This table shows the breakdown by each hour for each day of the week.

      MON       TUE       WED       THU       FRI       SAT       SUN
 0: 35 18  4| 33 18  3| 30 17  2| 30 16  3| 39 25  5| 43 24  6| 43 24  5
 1: 30 15  2| 29 15  3| 26 14  2| 28 15  3| 34 20  3| 41 21  4| 37 18  4
 2: 24 11  2| 30 15  3| 26 14  2| 27 15  3| 29 16  2| 31 16  3| 36 16  4
 3: 25 10  1| 21 10  2| 25 11  1| 25 13  2| 23 12  2| 29 12  3| 29 14  3
 4: 17  7  0| 16  6  0| 20  9  1| 22 12  2| 18  8  1| 21  8  2| 25 11  2
 5: 15  5  0| 14  4  0| 16  7  0| 19  8  1| 17  8  1| 16  5  0| 21  7  1
 6: 17  7  0| 15  5  1| 15  6  0| 16  6  0| 15  7  0| 13  4  0| 19  8  1
 7: 17  6  0| 14  4  1| 17  6  0| 17  7  0| 17  6  0| 13  5  0| 20  8  1
 8: 19  8  0| 14  5  1| 16  6  0| 18  8  1| 20  8  1| 20  8  0| 22 11  2
 9: 22 10  0| 17  9  1| 20  9  0| 18  7  1| 21 10  1| 24 11  1| 26 14  2
10: 27 13  1| 22 11  0| 21  9  1| 22 10  1| 24 11  1| 25 13  2| 27 12  1
11: 27 11  1| 25 14  1| 24 12  1| 23 11  1| 23 10  1| 33 19  3| 30 15  0
12: 27 13  2| 29 17  2| 26 12  0| 26 13  1| 25 13  1| 37 22  3| 32 18  2
13: 29 16  3| 31 18  2| 28 15  2| 31 17  3| 29 17  2| 35 21  2| 35 19  3
14: 34 20  3| 32 17  2| 35 20  3| 32 19  4| 31 19  2| 38 22  2| 35 20  2
15: 38 22  3| 38 23  4| 40 22  5| 38 21  3| 36 21  3| 36 23  2| 34 19  2
16: 38 23  3| 40 24  5| 40 24  3| 40 24  4| 38 22  4| 38 23  0| 40 22  3
17: 41 25  3| 40 20  3| 41 26  3| 38 23  3| 41 24  4| 38 21  2| 40 25  2
18: 39 23  3| 39 20  2| 43 24  2| 43 25  3| 37 21  3| 38 22  3| 41 24  2
19: 42 26  3| 38 20  4| 40 22  3| 45 28  4| 38 22  2| 39 21  2| 43 26  4
20: 43 26  4| 39 22  3| 45 26  5| 47 29  3| 41 23  5| 40 20  3| 44 25  3
21: 47 30  6| 41 23  3| 41 26  4| 38 23  3| 41 21  4| 40 21  3| 42 21  2
22: 42 25  6| 42 25  4| 38 24  3| 38 23  3| 42 21  3| 41 24  4| 36 19  3
23: 37 21  5| 35 22  4| 32 19  4| 43 27  4| 42 22  4| 42 23  4| 35 20  3

Be sure to also check out for longer term info.

  /  _  \   DID YOU KNOW: Tips and tricks and little-used features
 /__/ \  \  
      /  /  LegendMUD supports ANSI, AVATAR, and RAW color codes. Use
     /  /   COLOR TYPE  to choose the one that works best for your
    /__/    client (usually ANSI).
   /  \     Color helps visually filter things that are of interest to 
   \__/     you by making them stand out on your screen. The default
            colors might not appeal to you, but you can customize them
   _____    a number of ways. To turn it on type, COLOR ON. Likewise, 
  /  _  \   COLOR OFF will turn it back off for you.
 /__/ \  \  
      /  /  COLOR LIST is useful for seeing what you have set to which
     /  /   color. COLOR GUIDE will shows the numbers for absolute
    /__/    ansi colors in their colors.
   /  \     The basics are COLOR SET # # to change a specific user defined
   \__/     color (the number in brackets in COLOR LIST) or you can use 
            COLOR SET ALL # to change all user defined colors to the same 
   _____    color. You can always use COLOR SET DEFAULT to restore the 
  /  _  \   original colors. There's more variations listed in HELP COLOR
 /__/ \  \  in HELP COLOR to change sets of user defined colors quickly.
      /  /  
     /  /   You may also want to explore the command COLOR 
    /__/     that will allow you to manipulate the
    __      color schemes that are currently installed. If you have a nice
   /  \     color scheme of your own going, drop Chocorua note with the
   \__/     top section of your COLOR LIST results and it could be added
            to the available choices.
  /  _  \   To spice up regular commands with some color, (i.e. SAY,
 /__/ \  \  TITLE, any channel, etc.) use |# for an absolute color change
      /  /  or |U# to output color in the users configured color.
    /__/    A |U6 TO RETURN THEM TO NORMAL. Other players will thank you.
   /  \     For more information, type COLOR by itself or check out
   \__/     HELP COLOR when you're online. 

  ___                                                                  ___
  \  |----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
  /__|    LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World   |__\

               Frankie has reached 100 million experience!
               Lawrence has reached 100 million experience!


Join us Saturday, March 23 at 8 pm mud time for a spellcasting contest to
determine who can best roleplay a spell. This contest is open to all mages,
2c and 3c, cause and create. The more the merrier!

For instance, animating a corpse might involve marking the corpse with
obscure runes and then casting an ephemera spell to make the corpse twitch
once or twice, followed up with the actual animation. Creating a homunculus
might involve a lump of clay and a vial of the spellcaster's blood, both
in-game items.

Contestants can use socials, emotes, directed emotes, zips, strings,
ephemera, objects from the game, etc. to rp the spellcasting.

I have a non-color string coupon of my own that I will offer for the
top prize and I'd be happy to accept prize donations for runners-up.

Judging will be by a three-person panel -- myself and LadyAce are on
the panel, with the third person to be determined. I'd like a
respected cause mage to fill out the panel, so feel free to volunteer.

If you'd like to compete, volunteer as a judge or have other
questions, please notify Skar by mudmail. Mark your calendars!

Please note that this is a player-run contest. Even though LadyAce
is kind enough to help judge, this has no official link to the
mud management.



                        Scavenger Hunt Results!

There's a new series of games running on Wednesday evenings -- Scavenger
Hunt!  The idea is that you take a list of clues and find items around the
mud which you think solve those clues. This week's clue list is below --
how would YOU have responded to them?

1) Life is just a chairful of bowlies (5pts)
2) A rose among the thorns, and a thorn among the roses (5pts)
3) a dainty dish to set before the king (4 pts)
4) ...and the dish ran away with the spoon (3 pts)
5) Fee, fo, fi, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman (5 pts)
6) A pair of homonyms, a pair of antonyms, and a pair of synonyms (3 pts per
7) Baby needs a new pair of shoes (2 pts)
8) "Ickle me, pickle me, tickle me too" (3 pts)

The results....

           Ember: 32                         Jacob: 27                         
           Percy: 21                         Romaltha: 18
           Neptune: 16                       Adamar: 15      
           Oxymoron, Samwise: 14             Mario: 13
           Boreas: 12                        Bling & ElGuapo: 5

Check the end of the LT for some ways they solved the riddles!


                       Situation Normal, All ...

Army Group South's command center, set up in hap-hazardly organized
fashion in the house of the former mayor, brimmed with activity as
dispatch runners and officers came and went. Surprisingly, it appeared
that most of the people actually knew where they were going, and whom
they wanted to talk to -- or else they were good at pretending. The
rumble of artillery in the distance created a backdrop of noise to
drown conversations in the corners and among the people waiting.

A young officer, his coat still dusty from the road, delivered a heavy
envelope to a desk clerk with a tired gesture. 'Yesterday's drama,
Leutnant,' he said. 'My report. Does anyone know where that supply train
actually went to yet?'

The clerk stared at the envelope in disgust. 'It appears to have been
re-directed to the North Army Group, Herr Hauptmann. We're still trying
to find out what happened to the train that should have gone there, and
where it went instead.'

'That's Hauptsturmfuhrer," the captain said automatically. 'So our
supplies are underway to gott-knows-where, and instead we're getting a
shipment of office equipment. Wonderful. I wonder if we can fit those
swivel chairs into the .88s, somehow.'

The clerk peeked at his personnel list. 'That's Hauptmann, Herr
Hauptmann.' The captain stared at him for a moment. 'No, it isn't. 
I bloody well know my own rank and army group. Do I look like regular
Wehrmacht to you?' He tapped the runes at his collar.

The clerk sighed. 'Well, in that case... You're supposed to be in Poland,

The captain sighed too. 'I see. Situation normal. Now, how do you suggest
we fit swivel chairs into anti-aircraft cannons again?'

[[ Now we all know how to address Gottfried by his correct title too. ]]


                              HELP WANTED
           /\                                               \
          |  |                    {RDM}                      |
          |  |                                               |
           \_| Her Royal Highness, Queen MoiraGwyn De'Dannan |
             |              does hereby decree               |
             |    that the Castle de'Dannan is now seeking   |
             |     suitable candidates for the following     |
             |         positions in the royal court:         |
             |                                               |
             |  High Chancellor-                             |
             |  The legal advisor to the King and Queen.     |
             |  Also, responsible for keeping track of the   |
             |   Kingdom's accounts, as well as overseeing   |
             | the household affairs in the King and Queen's |
             |  absense. A position of trust, the candidate  |
             | must have strong organizational skills and be |
             |    devoted to the royal family. Must also     |   :
             | participate in Kingdom affairs regularly.     |   W
-------------|                     ---                       |---|>===:o\
             |                                               |   |    :o::
=============|                     ===                       |===|>===:o/
             |  Chronicler-                                  |   M
             |  Responsible for the recording of happenings  |   :
             | in the kingdom for both the sake of prosperity|
             |  as well as assistance in submitting the to   |
             | world newspaper know as the 'Legendary Times'.|
             | The candidate must have strong writing skills |
             |  and enjoy preparing reports as well as have  |
             |  to participate in Kingdom affairs regularly. |
             |                                               |
             |  Signed,                                      |
             |           Lady Emrysia O'Cuinn Royce          |
             |                                               |
             |                                               |
             |   ____________________________________________|__
             |   |                                              |
  ___         \_/______________________________________________/       ___
  \  |----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
  /__|                         Clan News                              |__\

.     L|J(_)             Reports from Malta infer that Sister Trinity
  )    | (")      (      d'Arpajon was seen taking the confession of Lord
  ,(.  |`/ \- y  (,`)    Marcel Alexander, but sources seem to be in doubt
 )' (' | \ /\/  ) (.     as to the reliability of this rumor. Yep, it's
(' ),) | _W_   (,)' ).   true. No, it's none of your business what we
 A Hot Line From Hell    talked about. And I did not do any push-ups.

A more disturbing report also revolves around the Templar nun and her
dealings with the minions of darkness (and fish). Recent investigations
carried out by her and Sir Lawrence Windstrom reputably establish as a
fact that Hannah, commonly known as Precious-as-Pearl, is indeed walking
about without her soul. Evidence strongly indicates that Masha Corlan is
responsible for the reputable surgeon's condition. Boy, how surprising.

Of matters more earthly, the Arabian witch Xenobia shares her recent
encounter with German soldiers Gottfried von Luttke and Wilbur Weiss von
Middenheim, describing the event as 'frightening'. Particularly the latter
apparently holds strong opinions when it comes to the rightful place and
duty of woman -- opinions that the witch (who ran away from home to avoid
marriage to Arabian nobleman Prince Shahriar) obviously did not share.

And to conclude with the shorter reports, Queen MoiraGwyn was seen 
shopping for a leash for her pet salamander, at the same time checking out
leashes for men -- perhaps she feels her friend Lady Emrysia might need
one for Sir Robar Royce.


The Mercenaries and the IRA have been keeping their members busy lately.
Once again they were the clans who had the most involved members on the PK
scene this week. The Dark Enforcers, The Grendels and the Hermetics also
had some members see some action but not as many. There has been much quiet
within the two Houses of the Knights recently, could they be putting their
energies toward a reconciliation? Likewise, the Coven has been rather quiet
again, could marriage for their GM have made them to complacent? And it
appears the Secretives have once slipped beneath the radar.

Sandman has been seen wandering the lands as of late. When asked for
comment, he complained of boredom and growled something about fixing to
muscle in on Mercenary action. Is a feud brewing? Stay tuned for

Have you witnessed any glorious or nefarious deeds? Send a short report to
us at the LT. If you are looking for a fight, recruiting, or anything else
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             /                       \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMUD?|
   (o o)     \_______________________/

                       The Begining....Enhanders Past

There's total darkness...

Faint cries of pain and agony can be heard in the distance. Where am I?
This place is small and cramped, it must be my space pod. But why am I
being sent away! I want to fight!!! This is not in my blood, I must

The world around my small space pod shook. Planet Vegeta was being eaten
away from some unearthly force. Cries of pain could be heard throughout
the Planet. It was Freeza, I knew it was. Only he could have that much
power. That Demon! I want to fight!!!

Saiyan Warcies could be heard from the sky. They were fighting a losing
battle. Though a spark filled within me, a flare of burning hate. That
demon would die, and I would be the one to kill him!!

It was a nice dream, to think that a single Saiyan could defeat Freeza. I
know I couldn't do. I'm too weak. But someday, somehow, someone must
arise to kill this fiend. And I will be there to land the killing blow,
even if his injuries were of someone else's doing.

This is my story, My name is Enhander, I have no last name. As of right
now I am the only living Saiyan in existance. I'm writing this story for
anyone who finds my space pod if I'm not to survive. My world, my family,
my life, is no more. I am non-existant. So whoever finds this, please
remeber me. Know that I was not a coward, I was sent without warning. I
would have gladly given my life to defend my family, and my planet. I have
enclosed a picture, to prove that life exist's in other realms. Exact
coridinates of my destoryed planet are enclosed also. To all who find
this... and future worlds... Farewell and beware of Freeza.

I turned off the recorder. Slowly floating through space I relized how
little I felt. I might have made the differace, had I been there. My
strength might have kept others going. But it made no difference now. A
sick feeling gatehred in my stomach. Why was I left to feel such shame and
agony. In the back of my mind I kept wondering where I would end up, and
even if I would survive. The air was heavy, and I couldn't stay awake....

'Aye, I be wonderin' what it is,' said a woman villager.

'Suppose we be get'n Tika and Aengus to take care of it,' said another

'No, 'ets take 'im to Silver Branch, they can do with 'im what they want
there!' suggested the woman villager.

The male villager nodded and took what seem to be a lifeless corpse from a
badly burnt 'pod.'

'We found 'im out side the Cross Roads in the Marsh. What will we do with
'im?' said the man.

The barmaid went over and put her fingers on the 'corpse's' wrist, checking
his pulse. She smiled. 'He's not dead, take him upstairs and give him a
room, I'll check on him later,' the barmaid said.

The two nodded to each other and the man took him upstiars, but was stopped
short by a knightly figure coming out of a room.
'Who be that young warrior?' said the knight.

'Be a man we found outside the marsh, knocked out cold 'e was,' the man
continued, 'Tika told me to take 'im to a room. That's what I be doin.'

'Alright, tell Tika to let me know of his condition when she checks on
him.' said the knight.

'And who be you sir knight?' questioned the man.

'Why, I am Sturm Brightblade.' said Sturm.

The man nodded and put the body into a room, then left. Time passed when
the body woke up...

'Ahh, my head....' said Enhander.

All I could get out was...'Where am I???'

                                End of Chapter 1


                             A Tragic Event

A silver clad messenger entered the ice cave. He bowed before the young
lord, handed him a rune inscribed scroll, and left quietly. Knowing the
contents of the letter, he felt it wiser to allow Jiriki his privacy rather
than exchange greetings.

Slightly baffled by his brethren's behavior, Jiriki broke the seal and
examined the scroll. It was a summons from the court of the Daoine Sidhe.
He had made the reasons for his departure from the courts fairly obvious,
and if they were asking for his return, something terrible must have
happened. He blinked. Something terrible... Hadn't the fortune teller
mentioned that? A strange feeling of dread began to settle in his stomach.

He quickly prepared for his journey. As he set out, he realized that he
should tell Cahira that he had to go for a time. The winsome redhead had
become quite dear to his heart, and deserved to know of his absence. He
traveled to Tara, and found her in the Silver Branch Inn. The forest lord
decided to tell his beloved only that is was a 'family emergency'. Cahira
hugged him enthusiastically and wished him a safe trip.

Some time later, Jiriki found himself at the court of Queen Oonagh.
Entering the court however, he could sense an air of unease among the
various nobility. He looked quickly to find the faces of his mother and
uncle, but the heralds announced his presence before he could see them. He
bowed before the Queen, and she motioned to him to join her in a private

As the pair walked to one of the contemplation groves, the Queen began to
speak. 'I know you had good reason to leave us, Jiriki i-Sa'onserei. After
looking back, we are forced to admit that we treated you badly.' There was
an uncomfortable silence, and she looked at the young lord sadly. 'Several
weeks ago' she continued, 'it was discovered that the unseelie were
plotting something new.' She paused again. 'We found this out too late
though. A small party crept in one eve and murdered several members of my

She stopped at the entrance to a grove Jiriki had never seen before. 'I
really have no other way to say this... your mother and uncle were among
the slain.' At that Oonagh led the young sidhe into the grove where his
family was interred. Jiriki's face regestered the shock he felt in his
soul. His family... dead? In a numb voice he asked 'Who....who did this?'
The Queen sighed. But if he wanted to know, she had no choice other than to
tell him. 'It was your father. He was the leader of the raid.' As Jiriki
knelt at the graves of his mother and uncle, Oonagh left the grove, leaving
him to greave.

Days later, the youth emerged from the grove. Once again he approached the
throne. After exchanging greetings, he asked 'You said my father did this?'
The Queen nodded. At that, the court messenger came forward. 'At your
command, your Majesty, I delivered your request to the King of the
Unseelie. He regrets to inform you that he cannot comply with your demands.
He claims no knowledge of the whereabouts of the accused murderer.' With
that, he returned to his place in the court. 

'As you can see, King Finarra will not deliver your father to us.' Jiriki
nodded. He began to mark his face with an intricate mask of ashes, to wear
in mourning until the perpetrator could be brought to justice. After
asking the Queen for her leave, he travelled back to the mortal lands.

Occassionally, he journeys to the lands inhabited by the unseelie. He
continues to search for information that will lead him to a murderer, his
own father, and to bring him to justice. Perhaps one day, his search will
be over.


                        A Surprise for Cahira

Fog covered the road to Tara as Cahira made her way past the famed compound
of the Archdruid. She was one her way to meet with her beloved Jiriki. He
had sent word that he wished to see her. Many times before she had recieved
messages from Jiriki and always they had shared adventures that were, at
times both dangerous and exciting. Unfortnately, this time she felt that
something was different. It was not Jiriki's usual elegant writing, but
looked hastily done. As she was running through possibilities in her mind,
she felt and heard a rumble behind. She looked back and smiled as a giant
hand lowered to the ground in front of her.

'Hello Miss Cahira,' the Titan said as he sat down in front of her. It
always amused her that this huge titan would be concerned about how she
felt trying to look up at him. 'Are you off to see the Sithi prince again?'
That was how he referred to Jiriki, as if unwilling to use his name.

'Yes I am, I think something is wrong, it just feels... I don't know...
Just not right.'

'Be cautious, Miss Cahira, for something, as you fear, is wrong, and this
fog is not a natural one.'

'Thank you,' Cahira said as she kissed the huge hand. 'I don't know what I
would do without you.'

'I am sure you would manage, Miss Cahira, you always do. I will go now,
before you meet with the Sithi.'

Cahira giggled at the Titan. It was not that he did not like Jiriki, but it
seemed more that he was worried that he not be needed, or perhaps a bit
jealous of the feelings Cahira showed for the Sithi prince. She smiled at
all of this as she watched the titan lumber away.

She walked a bit farther and came to a crossroads, one she knew well, and
here the fog seemed thicker than she could ever remember. Almost like a
wall, but one that allowed her to pass through, though slowly, as she
walked north toward the gates of Tara.

She met her beloved in the at the Silver Branch Inn, where he told her that
he was called home on a family emergency, but would return as soon as he
could. Although she did not like it she did not ask the questions that came
racing to her mind. She wanted to ask what he wasn't telling her, what the
emergency was that she could not go with him, as she had been to meet the
Queen on a few other occasions with Jiriki. She simply through her arms
around him and hugged him tight to her and kissed him genlty. She whispered
in his ear, 'If you don't come back, I will find you.' and then giggled. He
smiled and chuckled, and hugged her in return, then was off to his

Cahira waited for a few moments and decided that it was time to wander and
see how some of her friends were doing near the ocean. She went the the
gate of Tara and was met by the same fog she had encountered when she
arrived, but it seemed even thicker than before. She walked slowly,
watching the road at her feet, she did not wish to venture into the swamps
in a fog like this, when something made her stop....

'Hello young one,' said the voice. Where had she heard that voice before?
So soft, and calm, but with a tone of authority that rang through each

She asked in a hesitant voice, 'Who are you?'

'I have not spoken to you in a while, but I did not think that you would
forget me so soon.' Cahira realized that it was the voice she remembered
from what seemed like ages ago.

'You said you would watch over me,' she yelled into the fog, 'You said you
would come back to me.'

'I said I would send you helpers along the way, and also that there would
be those who would wish to make you stray from the path that you would
choose. I did not say I would come back, but yet I am here,' the voice said

'Who are you?' Cahira asked quietly.

'I am your father.' And with that man stepped out of the fog, his red hair
flowing behind him.

'But you are...' Cahira stammered.

'I am Lugh, yes.' He chuckled. 'How is Jiriki?'

'You know Jiriki?' she asked.

'Yes, I sent him to watch over you, though I did not expect this to
happen.' He smiled and winked at her.

'What? He knew who my father was all along?'

'Yes, but do not hold it against him, He made a vow to me to let you pick
your own road, without knowing who I was,' Lugh said calmly. But Cahira was
too upset by this to hear the last part, and stormed back to Tara to sit
and think over a glass of wine and some bread and cheese.


                            Me brudder Jarge
                         by Rulfe'a da fisherman

Me brudder Jarge lived on a small island jus off da mainland of Nova
scotia. One evenin' he decided to row to da mainland for an evenin' of fun.
After exercisen his arm wit a few tankards ov' beer in the local pub, a
fiat started and he was in da middle of em. One hour later da joint was
wrecked. Dere were fellows hangin on the coat rack on da wall, tables and
chairs broken, not one bottle left standing on da bar and some people even
hanging half way out on da street from da windows. Befar me brudder went
out he said: "If you wish to continue dis fight, come to me island next
saturday and I'll take on nutin' less than 100 men." The next saturday 100
men rowed over in dere dories. Two days passed and they didn't arrive home
so 100 more went over. They also failed to return. Da people on the
mainland were really concerned now, so they got together and 600 of dem
went to da island. When they arrived they noticed that da place looked like
a battle field. Dere were Nova Scotians up in da trees, on da beach and
scattered all over da island. They came across dis one fellow on da beach
who was closer to deat than life, and one of the men asked: " What
happened?" "Go back,' was is reply, "Go back whys ya still can!" "Why go
back, what happened anyway?" asked one of da mainlanders. "He lied to us,"
came da feeble answer, "Dere are two of dem here!"


                         Godless Wanderings

Being the sceptic that I am, I spent a good portion of my life basically
proving that the soul did not in fact even exist. And to most scientists
to this very day it doesn't, so conclusive were many of my findings.

However as those who follow my research know, of late I have pinpointed
the very thing I proved didnt exis't in the first place.

Certainly my first experiment in the removal and replacement of the soul
met with some rather disgusting results, the being it spawned a godless
shambling mess of gibbering nonsense and disgusting flailing movements.

However in more recent times, I have been experimenting more with the
preservation of the soul, for Fate imbued two very special charms at my
wedding, they each contained a tiny portion of my own and Lachesis's

Now this never even occurred to me till after my first experiment, after
all Fate had effectively preserved and transferred a portion of our souls
into an inanimate object.

And so I sought out another hapless victim... a diseased rat catcher who
knew nothing of the world beyond the setting of traps and the dissection of
rats. Poor fool, he had no idea that a trap had been set for him, I simply
had a young page send word to him of an infestation in my quarters and
moments later he ran in waving several heavy iron traps.

As he bent down to set the first of these, I simply leaned around him and
placed a thick cloth poultice over his face doused heavily in chloroform.
Now what happened next may to you seem like I have lost my mind.. but I
thought it rather humorous at the time.

I slipped a long syringe into the base of his neck in the precise point at
which I knew the liquid that I sought would be secreted and drew it out.
Already in the syringe I had my newly created preservative and as the two
fluids combined the syringe seemed to glow with a faint shimmering silver.

And so I walked over to a cage... pulled out the largest female rat I could
find, and injected the entire contents of the syringe into her neck, the
change was astounding (well after the twitching, convulsions and generally
horrendous things associated with system shock subsided). She began
roaming her cage, hissing at the other rats and being downright

As I watched her progress over the days to come, she had broken free of
her cage several times, had attacked several of the smaller rats, and had
been strangely drawn to the traps that I had left about the place, she
never once set them off but was always standing nearby as though waiting on
them to do their work.

This could all be coincedence, but for the rat catcher who I set again
about his business when he awoke, his usual fervour seemed to have died
down somewhat, and his catches definitely lower than previous months. Had I
transferred his essence into the very creature he hunted? Only time will

Dr. Herbert West.


    As promised here are some solutions from the latest Scavenger Hunt!

1) Life is just a chairful of bowlies
   'a floral armchair, a bowl of cabbage, a bowl of navy beans, a bowl of
    rice, a bowl of spaghetti' (Neptune)

2) A rose among the thorns, and a thorn among the roses
   'a red rose & a red-stained bucket' (Oxymoron)

3) a dainty dish to set before the king
   'a chunk of burnt flesh' (Boreas)
   'a meat pie' (Percy, baked from a filet of a vulture -- "a black bird")

4) ...and the dish ran away with the spoon
   'a faerie's fiddle' (Jacob)

5) Fee, fo, fi, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman
   'a loaf of coarse sourdough bread' (Ember)
   'the head of Robin Hood' (Romaltha)

6) A pair of homonyms, a pair of antonyms, and a pair of synonyms
   synonyms: 'Starseed boots & red boots with silver stars' (Samwise)
   antonyms: 'a shimmering snowflake & a giant fireball' (Jacob)
   homonyms: 'a filet of a pike & a pike (weapon)' (Adamar)

7) Baby needs a new pair of shoes
   some poker chips (Jacob)

8) "Ickle me, pickle me, tickle me too"
   a crab shell & a Stein (Ember, 'Shell (Silver)Stein')

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