Oake's Corpses Corner, or I See (other) Dead People
by Oake Cerris
The newly deceased have several pressing issues to address once they've
kicked the proverbial bucket. You might be thinking, 'But Oake, the dead have
all the time in the world! What could be so pressing that it could not wait a
few days... weeks... decades?' But consider this: if you don't pick a place
to haunt, you'll only wander around the graveyard where you were buried. If
you don't work on your ghostly skills, you'll never be able to interact with
the living and trust me- the dead are boring. But, then, you're reading this.
So you probably have already grasped THAT concept.
You will, regardless, have a considerable amount of 'down time' with which
to reflect on the life you lived and what you miss. I've spent some fair time
researching this, and nearly every ghost I've talked to agrees: the memories
you recall longingly aren't the ones you expect. You might miss some of those
things, sure, but they'll be small potatoes next to the surprising ones.
Recently, a younger boy named Ikarus paused from being distraught over a
recent death to answer a few questions.
Oake: What killed you? How'd you die?
Ikarus: The stupid Sirens in Greece, they were singing so nice I -had- to go
listen to 'em!
O: What was your last thought before dying?
I: Man, if only I had an airship this wouldn't have happened.
O: Did you see the well-publicized 'bright white light' when you died?
I: Yeah, actually, I did. It was the weirdest thing... Then I heard a woman
talking to me, but I don't remember what she said...
O: If you stay dead how will you spend your days?
I: I... don't know. I mean when my master found me I used to have this dream
that I just sort of floated around in space talking to someone. Maybe I'd do
that.
O: What do you think you will miss most from life?
I: Other people's smiles. I like when people are happy.
The thing to remember here is that you're a ghost now. If you want to see
people smiling, go hang out in a kindergarten. Or go house-to-house on
Christmas morning. Or stand on stage at a comedy club. You can see people
smiling all over the place, trust me this is totally a non-issue.
I can't tell you what you're -really- going to miss after death, as it's
probably different for everyone. But it's always the silly little stuff. Like
what clover smells like. Or getting a little shock when you touch a doorknob.
Or waking up with bad hair. Heck, even sweating! I miss sweating. I couldn't
sweat now if I sat on a bonfire. Nothing. Not a drip. Don't think you'll miss
something like sweating? Just wait.
