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Description Changes: Norbert

Mr. Norbert Swells is an unfortunate man in many ways. He suffered the terrible loss of both parents at a young age and was forced to live on the street, earning pittance from busking. This does not sit well with the fellow, being a man of dignity and pride, and although dented Swells is on a mission to pull himself out of the gutter and into high society, will he succeed? How does one go about doing such a difficult task?
It remains to be seen.

We catch up with Mr. Norbert Swells after many months have passed. He seems brighter, more at peace with himself. Since working himself into friendship with many of the lands most powerful and influencial persons, Norbert's words ooze authenticity. He became included in the International Eidolon Party whilst on a treck to a dark dark moor, ridding many witches with close ally and GM, Zillah Grey. This inclusion into society seems the *very* thing that Norbert's damaged soul needs to begin repairing itself and for Mr. Norbert Swells to fore-fill himself as a great person in the current world.

Mr. Norbert Swells is no more, Senor Norberto Swells stands in front of you. Clearly he felt the need for change, after many years as a London born british national he has now become a citizen of Lima after a careful exchange with the Archbishop. Time for much flamenco! He seems bigger and bolder than he once was, a man more self-assured, more fearsome. His clan ties have also undergone a change, after the demise of the Eidolon Party he now finds himself operating for the United Surgeons of Legend. Alas, even if Eidolon still existed he would be disgraced from the party for his new found citizenship.
Where will we find our hero next?

Norbert from now on be Senor Norbert Swells.
Power and health radiate from this bold flamenco-loving Liman before you.

Description Changes: Defrin

*scribbled, almost illegibly, onto the paper*

When I was little, I lived in an orphanage. It was really bad there. Sister Margaret was really mean to us. She would whip us and smack our hands with dry twigs. Especially mine. I didn't talk much and that made her angry, I guess. And she was very mad when I cast that spell for the first time so she slapped me a few times and told me God hated me. Then she locked me in one of the cellars. When Sister George let me out, she led me to the main gates and opened them for me with a big fancy key that dangled from her neck like a cowbell. She told me I had to go because 'my kind wasn't welcome in the house of God.' I looked at her and left.

I walked around for a long time and my skin hurt from all the scars and bruises that the sisters left. But over lots of time, my bruises disappeared and I met lots of nice folks that made me feel happy. I'm not very scared anymore...

Defrin, a hushed child with coffee-colored eyes, will appear from now on as:

Looking for a friend, this voiceless youth catches your glance and smiles.

The Pkill Front

It's only been a week since last issue, but the number of pkill fights is pretty impressive. The variety of players is also pretty impressive. Still no competition between clans, but I hear something is in the works, so stay tuned!

Reaver has been the most active pkiller this week with a total of 16 pkill fights, ten resulting in his victory. However, while impressive, he isn't the most successful pkiller this week. Sap takes the lead there with ten battles fought and nine won.
In fact, it looks like Sap and Reaver were at it a lot last week. Both held their ground, but Sap held his ground a little longer :)

Other active pkillers this week were Urkle, who is still most likely to get killed with seven deaths out of seven pkill fights. LebronJames with five pkill fights, and Defte and Rump with four were also pretty active.

A Word from Aithne

I Already Have the Corner Office, Thank You Very Much.
by Aithne Flynn, a pretty awesome chick

It's not often that journalists like their editors. Really, it's true. Editors are generally the bane of an author's existence. They're always nagging you about deadlines or censoring you... or telling you that you can't have that 4th extension on your deadline so you can go on some vacation in Cancun. There would have been souvenirs and embarrassing stories involved upon return, honest.

It's very rare that a writer is lucky enough to have an editor who, not only puts up with all your wily shenanigans, but cares about your work, is pretty damn lenient, and doesn't nag. My editor totally is just that awesome. Especially because she doesn't nag. Not even an 'oh, by the way, do you have any gossip?' (Which is good, because I don't. Well, I have lots of Kellor family gossip, but that's neither fun nor interesting.)

So here's a salute to you, ladybug lady. Here's an 'oh em gee, you're the greatest' for letting me do just about anything that I want to, all without batting an eyelash. Sure, I've turned in some questionable stuff-- very opinionated fashion statements, lots of hate about the now dead Lady BF, and even those boring as hell real-estate articles-- but she's been chill about it all.

And even though she's been lax about it all, she still manages to put out one of the best damn publications I've ever been a part of. Oake's column? I've given the little ghost a hard time, mostly because of his ghostly goldfish, but his interviews are still pretty amusing... especially when the people snark at him. Oh ho ho, it's fantastic and really does make my day.

The player submissions are great, too. Sure, they're a little scarce sometimes, and we only have one or two, but she's made it all work. And because she's been able to do that, I applaud Autumn. I take my hat off to her -- which is saying something because I look so fabulous with it. Just ask Nicola.

PS: Seek NPH and help the newbies!
PPS: See? She even allows shameless advertisement!

Oake's Corpses Corner, or I See (other) Dead People by Oake Cerris

I'm going to part with my previous tradition of interviewing the deceased for this installment so I can write a bit about what you all can expect from the other side.

The living have the 'Five Stages of Grief': Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Almost all the dead only go through four stages and they don't sound so classy. They are: Shock, Stupidity, Voyeurism, and Boredom.

Step One: Shock. Expect to spend a good couple weeks standing around the spot you died. You probably won't be sobbing uncontrollably or pondering what your life really means. Well, you might. Some do, some don't. But most likely, you'll just be standing there, wondering what the hell happened and where you go from there. For me, it was a stretch of dirt road between two fields. I spent just under a month wandering around, not believing I'd fallen from that wagon and gotten run over. Really? A stupid wagon? Why here? Why this stretch of road? Whats it all mean? Eventually, the shock wears off and you move on to...

Step Two: Stupidity. Being dead is like you're still living and someone irritating changed all the rules on you. I once spent the better part of four days trying to break into my own house and it wasn't even locked. Not solid enough to grasp the door knob; too solid to walk through the door. Eventually my sister came by and I managed to sneak in when she opened it. So plan on days upon days of feeling rather dim. After that, it's time for...

Step Three: Voyeurism. Yes, snicker away. Every ghost does it. At some point in your afterlife you realize you're basically invisible. And every ghost's mind quickly arrives at the same conclusion: 'I can go anywhere and see anything!' So you do. I'm not just talking about a trip to the bath house or the locker room. Although there's ample time for that too. But you no longer have to pay to get into the theater. And bodyguards can't stop you from dropping in on a famous celebrity, president, or king. Soon even these activities lose their appeal, then you arrive at...

Step Four: Boredom. Ahh, boredom. After the first year or so, you will have moved on to boredom. And this, whether you like it or not, is how you'll feel indefinately. Forget tasting new foods- you can't eat. Forget meeting new people- they all just run away (or at the very least will never talk to you like another person). Forget reading a book or playing a boardgame- maintaining the concentration required to turn the pages or move the pieces will just result in headaches.

I suppose boredom is better than nothing though. And you do get to travel if so enclined, so that's something. Of course, knowing this all in advance most likely won't help once you've crossed over to the other side. It's likely you will still be shocked and stupid for a decent stretch of time. Can't hurt to try to prepare yourselves though. Good luck with the... erm... dying!

The Wedding of Ailis and Ronan by Nicola Ahlberg

Last Saturday Aithne took me to the wedding of Ailis and Ronan. Aithne is like my boss and she teaches me how to dress.
So we went to the wedding and it was in a chapel and Ailis looked beautiful but Ronan didn't because men are handsome, not beautiful. And Ronan looked handsome.

The priest said a lot of fancy things about love and eternaty and then he left the room and then he came back. He made them all go into a circle and he tied their hands and I was worried because I didn't know that's what you do in a wedding. But Dreva said not to be scared.
So then the priest said that Ronan and Ailis have to say all their wows. Wows is like promises only shorter. And then he left and then he came back.

Ronan said all of his wows and Aithne thought it was very ronantic. And then Ailis said all her wows and I thought it was very Ailistic. And then the priest left and then he came back.

Some people cried and the priest asked us all if we support Ailis and Ronan and we all shouted yes!! Except Hell who just nodded. Or maybe we didn't all shout. Maybe only I did but it's because I take my promises, which is like wows only longer, siriosly. Then Ronan kissed Ailis for HOURS! And then the priest left and then he came back and said we should all go out to the garden to dance and drink.

So we did and the garden was very very handsome! With little lights, and roses and even a pool of mead. Mead is like beer but it smells nice. And then the priest left but he didn't come back.

A fairy fiddler played and we danced. Fiddle is like a violin except for fairies. And I asked if I can drink some mead because it looked delicious and everybody said that I probibly shouldn't, but nobody said not to so I drank mead because it looked delicious and it also tasted delicious. And then I danced and danced and danced and got dizzy, and Dreva said that I am drunk but I wasn't. Honest.

Ailis told us how she met Ronan when he ran away from the bad druids who ripped his clothes so badly that she had to patch him up. Ailis is a bard and a healer, but she also makes wonderful patches I bet because Ronan fell in love with her.
And then yesterday when I went to the druid's compound I pulled my coat tightly around all my clothes because I was scared that the druids will rip my clothes too but they didn't and they were very nice except Gan who doesn't like me because I am a pesky children.

In Summeration!
The wedding was very nice and we had lots and lots of fun and mead!

Oh and also, please come to my candy shop on Saturday!