HE REALLY WAS BREEDING HELL GNOMES
"New York strip?"
A serpentine hiss sounded, the tone rather annoyed.
"Right. T-Bone?"
Another hiss.
"Well, I don't know what else to try," Lamia snapped, glaring at the injured serpent who had decided to curl up on the sofa. The demoness had been through quite a bit over the last two hours. She'd merely decided to visit the Seven Circles' Farmhouse, checking to see if Setheus had returned from his little molting-adventure, when everything went downhill.
There had been Hell Gnomes in her room. The red head had been in a deep discussion with her serpent when she entered the house. Things seemed a little off to them both, something about several new scents wafting thought the building, but neither of them thought much of it.
After all, when you deal with the Hellish, you learn not to ask too many questions.
That ideal was shot out the window as soon as Lamia stepped into her bedroom and was mauled by three Hell Gnomes. It'd been an exciting experience, though in a negative way, of course. She'd been quick to escape, both Dante and herself quite injured. The note left by Lethe hadn't gone unnoticed, however.
She found the bringer of Oblivion fast enough, wasting no time at all as she tracked him down, demanding he remove the miserable little creatures.
There was lots of screaming, something about them eating her and almost eating Dante as well. Lethe only laughed, which angered even more. Threats against his life and manhood had been made. Lethe hadn't been so unkind that he left Lamia high and dry, however. He'd suggested steak, wire, and sticks for the gnomes' removal.
So that's where she was now.
"How about a roast?" Lamia said, tapping a fingertip against her leg. The emerald serpent shook his head, hissing. "Why not? It's large enough that it could distract them. We put it on a platter and put the platter on a wheeled cart. Give it a little shove and they'll launch themselves at it, I bet!" Dante just shook his serpentine head and looked away, nudging his injured tail with his nose.
He wanted a band-aid.
Lamia didn't pay him any mind, trekking out into the village of Salem to get several cuts of meat.
Twenty minutes later, she was locking her bedroom door, fresh cuts and bite marks littering her body. Several sticks were stucking through the skirts of her dress and the piano wire she'd been trying to use to strangle one of the little demons was wrapped around her wrist. Lamia most certainly looked like Hell now, and not in the sense that she was used to.
"Don't. Say. A word," she hissed, glaring at Dante. And as any good familiar does, Dante listened, turning his attentions back to his tail and a conversation with Ed, the little pet demon that everyone and their mother seemed to know. "We're going to need help," Lamia mused. "We're going to need help, and we can't give any specifics to this help." The snake looked back to his mistress, his gaze questioning. "Amducious," she purred and the serpent winced. "C'mon. Let's go to the church. He's probably sulking around there."
Without another word or hiss, she had snagged Dante and they were off. Not that Amducious could do anything, for these were vicious little gnomes. Only one person knew of how to tame them, and he most definitely wasn't going to let on about what he'd discovered. Lethe was enjoying Lamia's difficulties far too much.
After a few distractions, a bit of healing, and some unmentionable things, Lamia and Dante returned, Amducious in tow. Lamia pointed to the bedroom door once she'd slid the lock to the main door closed and she looked at the demon rather expectantly, as though he should already be in the room, killing the little wretches. All he did was raise his eyebrow.
"Am I to go in there?"
Lamia stared at Amducious, as did Dante, before she was able to speak and not yell. "And kill them, yes," she said. "I counted three. Maybe." The seductress shifted her weight from one foot to the other, looking a bit wary. "They're highly vicious and they don't like steak."
The instrument of destruction didn't say anything more, just eyeing Lamia and Dante before slipping into the bedroom. Rushing after him, she leaned against the bedroom door which he'd locked, and pressed an ear against it, listening.
"Oh for the ..."
Lamia raised an eyebrow. "Wot?!" she called, trying to keep the worry and anticipation out of her voice. She heard a rather strained 'n-nothing' in return. "Are they dead yet?" Suddenly a loud crash came from the other side of the door and she took a startled step back.
"OW! Oh, THAT one will die.. slowly!"
Dante and his mistress stared at the door as more banging and crashing sounded, all accompanied by high-pitched squeals. "Does this mean you haven't killed them yet?" Lamia called, sounding disappointed. As if to answer her question, Amducious fled from the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him, the lock sliding into place seemingly on its own. "Well?" she pushed, not really paying any mind to Amducious' rapidly healing wounds.
"What in the 9 circles did he breed them with?" the dark-eyed demon asked, annoyance obvious with his tone.
Lamia shrugged, glaring at the man. "I don't know!" she cried. "Maybe he hybrided them with his wolf girlfriend!" Amducious shoot his head.
"No," he said. "It is no lycan. Perhaps I should grap the sheets and bring them to the church." It was Lamia's turn to disagree.
"We could let Joel handle them," she offered, a grin springing to her lips as she glanced around shiftily.
Practically scoffing, Amducious said, "Only if you promise that they will kill him."
Her grin widened, showing off the demoness' rather pointed incisors. "That," she purred, sauntering over to Amducious. "Is the plan, luv."
It would seem that a certain Lord of Hell was going to have one awful time reclaiming his throne, all thanks to a wretched gnome-breeding, wolf-loving little turncoat, and Lamia was going to love every second of it.
