WHAT NOT TO WEAR
Spectral Edition
by that one receptionist chick
The dead and undead are spooky beings, I understand that. Their job is to scare, terrify, frighten, and other various synonyms that would make me sound even more redundant if I listed them. This fact, however, does excuse Oake Cerris' wardrobe.
Seriously. I understand that he was only like 19 when he died, and men don't develop decent fashion taste until their mid to late 30's, if ever, but come on. Don't people get the option of changing their outfit when they die? He's all basic cloak, shirt, and trousers, all of which are dirty.
I can't take a man seriously when he's just... dirty and smells like worms.
I don't think he can take himself seriously, either, considering how he's always staring blankly at people. And can't he do something about that fog and glow that always seems to be surrounding him? He could always like...
trade it for a nice breeze that would help deal with the gross smell of death.
You know, speaking of that, how does a non-corporeal being have a smell?
I'm still boggled by it.
His hands are so pale he should invest in some ghostly gloves, those reins are the wrong shade of brown, and the least he could have done is invested in a length of chain that wasn't covered in rust. The only thing that doesn't make me cringe when I look at him would have to be the ghost of his goldfish that's always floating somewhere nearby.
At least IT knows how to accessorize. Good job on those scales, little buddy.
Good job!
Seriously, Oake? Talk to somebody. Try to invest in a nice crisp suit or uniform. I know your job is to scare, but you've such an unfair advantage right now due to your outfit, it's ridiculous.
Call me sometime, babe, and I'll help you pick out something new. Just make sure you give me enough warning signs so I know you're there, you silly, poorly dressed ghost.
